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DougVan

33 Grand Rapids, MI Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 21–26
  • Near me

My Details

Last Online
Apr 28, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Construction
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
'The Dug' is a goofy nickname bestowed upon me by a friend because I would go on a sarcastic rant a refer to myself in the third person and proclaim that I should be known by the masses by a single name. Jeff Gordon has nothing on me, as nobody knows "Jeff"; however the pathetic joke that is Ray Ramano would sadly be considered my peer because he may be recognized simply as "Raymond".

My animated nature and odd comments that are more apt to cause one to roll their eyes at me than to lead to an adoring legion of followers is still, by definition, entertaining. I make an ass of myself, say things that are obviously untrue or intentionally mangled. I am a "strange kid" with "an odd-shaped melon", but I try to make sure everybody around me is having as much fun as I am.

Some of the more foolish things I have gone on about are pertaining to the abolishment of woman's suffrage or the hand dominance implied by the bigoted gum ball machines (they cause quite the problem for a left-handed child). Gum ball machines aside, I do often make sarcastic comments about women knowing their role and doing proper woman work. These are over the top remarks about dishes, dinner, oral sex, or other things that would play into the chauvinist's ideal world. I find it incredibly fun when my girlfriend joins in with remarks or playing the role of the 'proper' woman.

Rarely do I take issue with things, but here is a short list of what bothers me: Reference to ATM machines, PIN numbers, VIN numbers, etc.

Anybody that argues that Jimi Hendrix simply flipped a guitar upside-down and played it without flipping the strings.

The snapping of chewing gum.

The ability to type seemingly without knowledge of grammatical code (listen kids, learn where to use an apostrophe, capitalize proper nouns, learn what a homophone is and how this comment applies, do not use a single letter or number in place of a word unless that letter is 'a', 'I', or occasionally 'O'- though I'd much prefer 'oh'). Please conjugate. The next person to say "I seen (anything)," is going to get beaten.

The dots on my friend's Guitar Hero controller are not in the proper location for dots on a real guitar. For those interested, markings on a real guitar are usually on the following frets: 3, 5, 7, 9, 12, 15, 17, and 19. These are guidelines and not all guitars have all of these fret markings.

Using things without my permission.

The reluctance to learn or the scoffing at one that is more intelligent. You're right, they are making you look dumb. And the fault is your own.

Anybody that goes to the counter at a fast food shit hole and asks about the price of something they didn't bother looking for on the menu.

I am also a part of the obligatory social networking sites. I enjoy MySpace MySpace, but loathe FaceBook.

Please don't drop me a message saying that my links are wrong. Why would I link somebody to a page I hate?

I am entertaining, facetious, and mildly obsessive
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am working hard to achieve a better job and a house right now. I enjoy my job and I've learned a lot, but I don't believe steel fabrication is what I want for a long term career.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I seem to do pretty well at Guitar Hero against people that aren't my girlfriend. I read at a good rate, but don't find nearly enough time to do so. I enjoy finding odd guitar chords and alternate fingerings for standard chords. I prefer playing bass because I feel fewer restriction to what I can or should play. I have been building things for the last four years and have gotten pretty good at welding, making frames squarely, and making solid structures. As a guilty pleasure, I really like it when my mom makes quilt blocks and allows me to configure the color scheme. I can be a shoulder to cry on and a good listener. I can be a jerk. I am bloody brilliant in bed, but above all else I am great for telling time, for every two hours I spend in the presence of my girlfriend I will say something so painfully abrasive and stupid that it's like watching an episode of The Office.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am often noticed as the friendly guy that is quick to introduce himself. This is occasionally overshadowed by being shy and not talking too often. I have been told that I have a nice butt, little stage presence, a cute smile, and looking and/or acting similarly to Jack Black.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My new favorite author is Lou Paget. She has a great take on sex and knowledge. Her approach is brilliant, even if her writing style is merely passable. Aside from books on sex, I like the little that I have read from Robert Greene, and have read many pieces of both the Crichton and Grisham catalogues. Lord of the Flies is a brilliant piece of work.

I don't watch a load of movies, but some of my favorites have been American Beauty, Boondock Saints, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Office Space. My DVD collection is incredibly limited, but you can be certain that it is full of solid movies. "Dude, Where's My Car?" need not apply.

My music collection isn't nearly as eclectic as I'd like, but it's a work in progress. I enjoy Soundgarden, Nirvana, Metallica, Muse, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Jimmy Eat World, Green Day, Weezer, The Foo Fighters, and a load of others.

Salt & vinegar chips are the bane of my existence. There really aren't a great number of foods I prefer against, let alone hate, but salt & vinegar chips are at the top of the list. I really enjoy all sorts of food and am always up for trying new things. Chinese, Mexican, and Italian are always options unless there is something more interesting on the horizon. I also spend a stupid amount of time at a local Coney Island.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order:

Friends & family. They mean a great deal to me.

Music. A well written song speaks volumes more than words alone could.

My guitar. I don't believe I am addicted to anything aside from my guitar.

Books. There is a great amount of information available. I have yet to scratch the surface.

My car. I have a stupid amount of independence and I really like the ability to come and go as I please. I usually prefer to chauffeur than ride shotgun.

Money. It is just silly how often I am thinking of such a petty subject. That's alright by me, though, because I am always thinking of ways to get more money.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Honestly, I think about music and money far too often. I don't believe I will ever play music for any large sum of money, but it would be nice. No, I am more often thinking of notes in a key, what a major or minor seventh may be, should there be a third in this chord, major or minor, perhaps a suspended second or fourth, or negate it all together? As for money, I don't often think of saving, per se. I think more along the lines of investing. Savings accounts are fine for money that I need to park and keep available, but investments are where I want to put a vast amount of my income.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, I'm serious. It's a great excuse to hang out with friends and shoot the bull. I'm a complete nerd and I'm fine with that. Otherwise I am playing pinochle or cribbage and eating shit hole food at The Coney.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Nearly everything on my other profile is true to some extent.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to message me I will encourage it. I'll be the first to tell you what a great and wonderful guy I am. That said, I'm really not interested in meeting people on here and certainly not looking for any sort of female companionship.

I strongly encourage everybody that drops by here to request a WTF report, as they are rather interesting to me. I don't care what the match, friend, or enemy scores are, I am just curious.