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DrKhaos

27 Philadelphia, PA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Dec 23, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This one time I spent the afternoon shouting at a little old Peruvian lady in broken Spanish and chasing her through a street market.

The real problem though was that I had no shoes, because I left them in a sand dune in the middle of the desert, and it's really hard to find size 12 shoes in Peru. The little old lady was a local who cooked for us some times. She spoke no English, and I only knew how to say "necessito zapatos," but she actually came through for me. It took a lot of running half-bent over to duck low-hanging merchandise while keeping up with her in an open air market built for very small people, but she found me a pair of flip flops that were almost big enough for me, and that's what I spent the rest of the month working construction in.

The shoes I wore to Peru were buried in Huacechina, a beautiful little oasis town in the middle of the desert. About 30 of us from different countries had gone there for a weekend vacation from our service vacation in Pisco, where 80% of the city had been leveled by the 2007 earthquake. We loved disaster response, but we also needed to blow off some steam.

The tour guides drove us from the top of one sand dune to the next all day long so that we could sandboard down to the bottom on chewed up old boards with screws sticking out. It was a lot more like sledding-while-standing, but it was definitely cool, and the dune buggy ride felt like a roller coaster every time the driver took us up the side of one 200-foot dune and down the other. We even stopped on top of one of the tallest dunes to watch the sunset.

For dinner we took over the biggest restaurant in town. The owners loved us. They were bringing plates of weed and rolling papers at the table so we'd eat more, and we bought a dozen bottles of rum between us.

Thirty of us emptied out into streets after our feast, arm in arm, dancing, singing, and playing with a street monkey, and I think we were all at once taken back by how beautiful the sand dunes were against the starry sky. We froze in the street staring up at them for a long silent moment, and then we started running.

The unspoken consensus was that the dunes were beautiful, the sky was incredible, and we were hammered, so we needed to be on top of it all. When we hit the sand dune wall we were climbing fast, running uphill, laughing and shouting at each other. Halfway up the sand dune, not so much. We were on our hands on knees. Some people collapsed or gave up. The dune was as tall as a mountain, and it was so steep you sunk back in the stand with every step you took, but we made it.

We spent the night on top of the dune, under the stars. There was rum being passed one way, Peruvian coke going the other way, and it turned out that a surprising amount of my friends knew how to swing the poi fire balls someone brought up in their bag. I even tried them out myself and only hit myself in the face a couple times. It was one of the most incredible nights of my life, and then I woke up face first in the sand.

I was actually laying headfirst down the 45 degree slope of the dune. It was day time. It was scorching hot, and my cheek was packed with sand. I put my hands down and lifted my head up enough to spit out the wad of sand in my mouth, and felt the deep sunburn one the side of my face that wasn't against the sand. Mostly I just wanted water.

I fell down the slope a little bit before I managed to spin myself around and look up. There were only about 7 very tired looking volunteers still up there. They had been yelling to wake me up. They told me that sometime around dawn I just collapsed face first in the sand and slid down the hill. They checked to make sure I was breathing, and then they left me there to sleep it off. They were waking me up because it was finally over. This last group of people was about to go back down to our hostel at the bottom. They didn't have any water, so I chugged the beer they had, and decided that if I was going down the hill, there was no sense dragging it out. There was water at the bottom of the hill, so I was going to get there as fast as possible.

And this is how I lost my shoes. I started sliding down the sand dune. At first I thought I could make a quick, controlled descent, but then I realized I couldn't slow down. I was jogging, then I was running full speed, and finally I was sprinting faster than I'd ever run in my life straight down the hill, leaning more and more at an angle that was steadily shrinking.

It was inevitable. One of my feet tripped, and then I was bouncing, cartwheeling, flipping, rolling, skidding down the wall of sand with a small avalanche following close behind. I don't remember my shoes coming off, but that's how hard I was bouncing off of the sand.

When I finally stopped I was at the very bottom where it leveled out. I looked up and saw my friends, whom I'd been standing next to only a few minutes earlier. They looked like specks, hundreds of feet above me at the top of dune. I could sort of hear them shouting, probably to see if I was okay.

Three girls' faces appeared above me. They weren't with our group. They were three girls traveling through Peru on their own, and they just watched a guy bouncing for a hundred feet down a dune. They looked like they thought I was dead, and they asked me if I could move my feet. They helped me stand up and I realized I was in their hostel room's yard, at the same hostel where I rented a room that I never got the chance to sleep in.

I looked at my friends on top of hill, and then back at the girls. I told them, "I lost my shoes...". Then I turned and walked out of their room, down the hall to my room, and passed out on my bed. Later that same day I took the bus back to Pisco barefoot, and ran into that little old lady looking for shoes.

So that's a little bit about me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Reworking the business plan for a nonprofit/LLLC/benefit corporation that will solve all of Philadelphia's problem. All of them.

...and finishing my business degree at Temple.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing, I think.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have well-maintained beard. Its undertones are extravagantly subtle. It's been there since I was 8.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book: Catch-22
Movie: Fight Club
Show: Boardwalk Empire
Song: Positively 4th Street
Food: Lasagna

I like this section of OK Cupid profiles because now we don't have to talk about anything when we meet for the first time. We can skip straight to sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My stupid awesome pit bull/labrador puppy (not technically a puppy)
2. Friends, family, etc.
3. Personal space/time
4. A healthy version of nihilism
5. A watch
6. Uniball Vision Elite Micro Point Roller Ball Pens
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The Singularity, man... and my dog, and death, and how I'm going to live forever, and my nonprofit, and Rocky Balboa, and Charles Bukowski, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt, even Teddy Roosevelt, and the Philadelphia Parking Authority, and the fact that there are 60,000 inadequately housed Philadelphians at the same time as there are 60,000 vacant abandoned properties, the coming cyborg wars, the fall of the American empire, what I would say if I could travel back in time to the signing of the Declaration of Independence, scheduling, list, running, calculus (but not by choice), organizational techniques, how I can incorporate more self-improvement time in my life, and how self-improvement is just mental masturbation, all the things I would yell at Congress and the rest of America if I became President somehow and was giving the State of the Union, the gentleman's agreement that kept Philadelphia's buildings less than the height of William Penn's hat until the second half of the 20th century, the Consolidation Act of 1854, welfare, socialism, libertarianism, authoritarian democratic capitalists, other big impressive ideas, whether or not my posture is correct, and um shit... gotta finish strong... memetics, wait no... Universal Darwinism.

Yeah, that's cool.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Running through the ghetto, and trying to convince the locals that I'm not a cop, just an eccentric jogger.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In middle school I choked on steak... twice.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I can't come up with a good list of characters traits to filter you with, but I'm down to meet girls of pretty much any variety and give it a chance. I just want to have fun and do interesting stuff.

And add me on Facebook, it's simpler: https://www.facebook.com/GregSTrainor