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An image of DrSimian
An image of DrSimian
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DrSimian

37 / M / straight / Single

Sacramento, California

The Skinny

Last Online
Join Date
Ethnicity
White
Height
6' 1" (1.85m).
Body Type
Overweight
Looking For
New friends, Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Rather Not Say
Income
More than $1,000,000
Kids
Doesn’t want children
Pets
Likes dogs and Likes cats
Languages
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

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Your Notes

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I am patient, sharp, and amused.

My Self-Summary

I'm just an average guy. I'm attractive in some ways, average in others, and I'm sure I have some repulsive aspects (but I don't really know what THOSE are. But then, I'm sure I don't really want to know.) I'm overweight, but I have nice eyes. I'm smart, but unambitious. I'm honest, but hard to pin down. I'm a great friend, but I'm very much a natural loner. I believe the best of everyone (at first), but I believe the worst about myself. I'm supportive, but I secretly feel unappreciated. I'm your average stew of contradictions.

Take what you will from that.

What I’m doing with my life

Not enough. Not nearly enough. Also, looking for work. (Yes, I know, that REALLY adds to my "catch" factor.)

Update: Found work. Now, I'm just trying to nail down a schedule, so's I can get back to doing what I love.

I’m really good at

Being patient. Not breaking character. Thinking on my feet. Massage. Pointless conversation. Conversation with a point. Pointing at things. Laughing at myself. Laughing at and with others. Being upfront, even if it's to my detriment.

Oh, and bracketing words to increase my profile percentage .

The first things people usually notice about me

My size. Let's be honest, I'm overweight, and that's what people notice first, whether they want to or not. After that, it's probably my bemused expression.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

I enjoy many different genres and types of books.

The same goes for movies.

I'd say that the only types of music that am not a fan of are really hard core rap/hip hop, and modern country.

As you can probably surmise, I am a fan of food.

This section is really pointless, as these topics are really best discovered during actual, honest-to-goodness, face-to-face conversation. Heresy, I know.

The six things I could never do without

Never?

Humor. Freedom. Mobility. Honesty. Motivation. Release.

Vague enough for you?

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Breaking old habits and looking at the world with new perspectives and positivity.

And then I remember "Oh, yeah. I live in the real world, with real world problems and obligations."

But then I think of sex, and that pretty much trumps every other thought that most humans have.

On a typical Friday night I am

Performing.

Update 9/09: I'm not currently performing, but I may be working. I don't know. The schedule bounces around...

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

Being the internet, I'll say this: I can grow facial hair at an ALARMING rate. Oooh, steamy.

You should message me if

You wish to shower me with money, shower me with praise, or just shower with me.
Oh, and I enjoy meeting folks of all types. It's all good.