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38 M Milton Keynes, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–48
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You know what really sorts the men from the boys?

Operation Yewtree.

Men are like buses, in that they are unreliable, have dubious hygiene standards and will let any woman ride them.

Since BBW is an acceptable acronym, I've decided to try and popularise my own: UWILD.

Ugly, Witty, Intelligent, Large Dick.

Hey, at least I'm willing to be honest about being ugly, rather than calling it "Complicatedly Handsome" or some shit.

Because then you'd fancy a CHILD.

You paedo.
I'm with Richard Dawkins.

I don't believe in being quite so rude, but I find little fault with the facts of his arguments.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Just here, not looking. Still working on being less of a terrible human being. You can hit me up for chat, but that's all you'll get at the moment, despite being "poly".

Also trying to lose weight at the moment. Succeeding, but it's super fucking boring. Although unless you're one of the lucky 95% of people without a legitimate medical condition, it's basically impossible.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Proving that... Oh fuck it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I make them feel insecure.

They could pick up the occasional book and take control of their lives, but it's probably safer to blame me for them feeling inferior.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Iain M Banks is dead. Why bother reading?

Seriously though, I doubt we share much in common.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Love. Optimism. My Daughter. My Partner. Light. Sunshine.

Is that all 6? I also like puppies and middle-aged women who have no sense of self (I remain astonished as to how many people feel that somehow the above doesn't apply to their particular brand of hysteria).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Should "feeling sorry for each other" and "consensual sadomasochism" be added to the "Looking For" section of the browse function.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Nowadays? Asleep I guess.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Everything you need to know about life can be summed up in the differences between the original Robocop and the modern - "Re-Imagining".
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Don't. Experience shows that if you're dumb enough to message me, you're too hard of thinking for us to get along.

An exception can be made if I've messaged you first. Unless specifically stated otherwise, you can rest assured I'm still not imagining a romantic future, but the occasional pithy conversation helps to break up the stultifying tedium that humanity usually presents.