Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


39 Milton Keynes, UK Man


You might like

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–41
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 2:09pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Dropped out of university
Open relationship
Has a kid
Likes dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My newest hobby is being visited by people who are highly attractive and don't share my relationship goals.

Jesus Christ, it's enough to make you an atheist.

(Apologies. When making a craic about a plane crash below, I used the word "then" rather than "than". I would like to apologise to anyone who was disturbed by my cavalier use of the comparative. )

"I've never looked for women. When I was a teenager, perhaps.
But they are looking for us, and we [men] must learn that very quickly. They decide. We just turn up. Never mind the superficialities..." Peter O'Toole.

For some reason I empathise with Mr O'Toole.

If you don't have the IQ of a side salad, you'll be able to tell from the below, if not my pictures - that whilst I might have complex, mental issues and more baggage than the ground beneath a Malaysian Airlines flightpath that I don't lack confidence.

And if you think I do, I'll fight you for it.

Moreover it means that 'liking' me is pointless. My wife describes me as "Sexy, in a "rapey" kind of way."

So I don't message woman as a rule. When I do it's generally as a compliment whose style I like but have nothing in common with.

Basically, if you aren't confident and motivated enough to send me the first message, it's already going nowhere.

If you've put "sapiosexual" in your profile, it's a safe thing to say that whilst most intelligent people will treat you like Sheldon would a horoscope, most intelligent people won't get the Sheldon reference. So basically you might as well put up a sign saying that you want to fuck people in IT with delusions of grandeur.

Damn that's so meta.

If you don't laugh in a hale and hearty fashion whilst watching the films "Death Machine" or "Zombeavers" then we have 0 relationship prospects. It's not a benchmark, merely an observation.

If you do not understand the meaning of the word flippant, get the fuck off my profile, there's nothing for you to see here, except for a diatribe about how you might want to read a book one day. Yes. YOU are the reason why the world is going to shit. You are in fact - one of those people.

If you need a trigger warning then:
a) I'm unsuitable
b) Evolution will get you one day bitch
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My child is top of the class. But the other day I was threatened by a neighbour who felt I was not his kind of person.

So, you'll forgive me if I don't lend much credence to your personal feelings.

Learning some more. Trying not to hurt people by not getting involved.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Anything except racquet sports.

Seriously, I'm above average at basically everything. I'm brilliant at nothing. I'd be what mediocre is if it had more self-esteem and pushier parents.

I'm basically genetically annoying without any really useful, distinguishing trait. I am that kid you picked on at school. Probably for good reasons, because I was annoying as fuck.

Actually, the above isn't true. I'm being overly harsh. I'm fucking amazing at problem solving, be in a complex system, the right emotional lever to achieve a result in a complicated relationship or just why an animal is unwell (grew up on a farm). Sadly, to quote Bill Cosby (When he was still cool, as opposed to rapey)

“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I scare them. That or disgust. Someone violently threatened me this week because they disagreed with something I agree with.

And I do this whilst being white, male and heterosexual - remember how I underlined how irritating I was earlier? I was not joking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Iain M Banks is dead. Why bother reading?

I read for pleasure - so no Umberto Eco here.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Spoilt bastard question.

Life is all about how you do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Don't snap their neck like a twig - don't snap their neck like a twig - don't snap their neck like a twig - don't snap their neck like a twig - don't snap their neck like a twig - don't snap their neck like a twig...don't snap their neck like a twig.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking after a child, making myself insensible through third party chemistry or just collecting loathing into a giant bolus.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have never hit a woman - but I've smacked down a few bitches.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like dangerous people/sex or have serious mental health issues or have 130+ IQ.

Because I hear those type of people like to buy clever people.