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29 M West Lafayette, IN

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:10pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Working on Ph.D program
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Wow...443 visitors in a week...and only 1 message!? Maybe it's my awful leprosy....

*Quick word: I can only do local shopping at the moment. I'm at Purdue. Indy/Chicago might be possible, but the closer you are, the happier I'll be!*

Due to my study, I often don't initiate the first contact since I'm rarely online (seeming personality contradiction, I know), so your job is to send the note...but I'll promise I'll take things from there! Promise. Ladies...that goes for you! Show me your (mental) stuff and I'll write you a novel. (I do reply to nearly every LOCAL message I get! (No small talk, though, please! Tell me who you are.) I'm really rather friendly. Rather.) :)

**Really pleased you've stopped to read! If anything catches your eye, please start the conversation from there. "Hi," "how are you," and all the rest are not necessary, and will probably not result in much! I wither under the tedium of small talk so you'll be far better off telling me your deepest wish...or why you gel (or don't) with something on the profile! Would love to meet some strong, independent women. Do they exist in the USA? Cheers.**

Quick Facts

There's a proper intro following this, but some quick traits: ENTJ/ENFJ straddler. Oxford grad. Lived in Tokyo, Doha, the UK, Bangkok, and (of course) all over the USA. I speak a degrading version of Japanese (renshuu shiyou!). I write, research, gym, and chug my coffee every day. I'm an ardent would-be intellectual and a total sapiosexual.

On Sexuality

Oh...and I'm pomo (as in pomosexualnot "bi"...) I'd say Google it, but not much comes up. It's not "pansexualism". It means I'm personality-driven, not gender-bound. Asexual unless there's a complete connection. That means I'm way more into your brain than your least at hookups are right out. Or FWB. Or FB. Ever.

Monogamy rocks.

On Dating

I want a partner. That means I'm NOT an adherent to the misogynistic tradition of "dating." Traditional dating sets the wrong standard. I'm looking for friends with or without the potential for more to grow. Is that because I'm not long-term-oriented? Exactly the opposite, comrade! I want a "life-till-we-cryofreeze" partner, babe. I'm that partner-oriented, 100% dedicated, totally romantic, studly nerd you've always dreamed of. I'd love a lifelong partner. I just don't believe in the dominant vs submissive custom of "dating." (Doesn't mean I won't pick up the tab, though--so long as I'm sure you're itching to do the same.) It's ineffective. Doesn't work. (Spent two years researching what DOES work in relationships, though, for a job I had in the Middle East. Now THERE's some fun conversation!!) I'd like to get the REAL you now...not in six months. So no swapping dinners, compliments, or perfumes. Just bring YOURSELF. This is a cool article that summarizes some of the points I follow:

On Friends

I'll be honest in that I'm quite particular in who I find "fun." If you frequently find yourself discussing pop culture, music, films or friends--we probably will not get on. (If you love "Gaga, Perry, and of us is going to die.) On the other hand, if your tongue twists around words like "existentialism," your hands cramp at cramming sentences with too many compound clauses, and the idea of an ideal evening includes a critical examination of (fill in the blank), we might have something to offer each other. I ain't no genius, but, like a zombie....I want your brains.

If your ideal idea of a night with a friend involves protracted conversation while learning something new...wait...(shudder)...I just had a mind orgasm...

That being said, while I'm not here to "date" (in the conventional sense), the hope is always that one friendship will truly mature into what might be a partnership. Being pomo means it really is about your essential qualities (not about gender or even entirely about looks). Even so, when it comes right down to it, I do prefer fitter folks. And, I'll say it, the less hair where it shouldn't be, the bigger my smile is. And if you're an XY, I do prefer that you don't act like a XX (in speech, swag, or star tattoos). And if you're an XX, I enjoy feminists over feminines. :)

On Sex
I'm a fun sexual partner, rather dominant, but very concerned about my partner's needs. Inquire within.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a consultant at the moment, but my background is in social work and psychology. I've done project management in the Middle East, taught uni in Thailand, and volunteered for years in Japan when I was younger. Ask for my CV... :)

Current PhD candidate, doing work with the U.N., writing, publishing, and otherwise waiting for real life to begin!

Humanitarian work psychology (applied Industrial Org Psych) and the more impractical social science degrees. Who knows!

Very much single...not by choice.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a people person. Social worker by first trade, social researched by higher degree. Psych PhD is in the works. The human mind is my passion.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm very intense. I don't "take it easy." And I don't want to. Ever, preferably.

Most people tend to enjoy it (at least at first)...but I don't slow down...and not everybody wants to keep up.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
On Books: Usually anything that has the power to inspire. Current favs include: The Moral Landscape, The Optimism Bias, the Power of Habit, The Midnight Circus, The Picture of Dorian Gray, the Long Walk Home, Leaves of Grass (because I really hate it).

“The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness.” Lord Henry Wotton explains to a young Dorian in The Picture of Dorian Gray

On Television: I hate hate hate television. If you prefer a night in front of the telly (and are not watching the carefully selected film), we prob won't jive in more than a few areas....

I am known to watch the occasional (commercial-free) episode of Parks and Rec, Strangers with Candy (reruns), or Futurama, though. I used to love Xena when I was a kid. :)

On Music:  All time fav is Darren Hayes (independent stuff), also: Imogen Heap, Hikaru Utada, like me some MJ Thriller when I'm feeling down, modern classical and acid jazz. Recently into Sleepthief. Billboard Top 40 on my iPhone when I'm in the gym (embarrassed)...but never otherwise!!

On Movies: I'm known to walk out of films. Not in a huff, but I just refuse to dedicate any part of my life to something that disappoints. Favorites include: The Contender, Beetlejuice, Jurassic Park, Little Miss Sunshine, Nine Lives, el Laberinto del Fauno and el Orfenato.

On Food: Anything spicy, but no skin, fat, feet, or eyes. Believe me, this has been extremely relevant (and challenged) many many times. Love Thai and Indian, but am a big fan of a chicken filet cooked anyway (sans a pool of oil).

BIG sweet tooth, so long as the sweets are baked. Bring me any non-fruit-based goody and I'm yours. (Why is there no Sprinkles Cupcakes in Indiana?!)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I chose 8. Six is an evil number, duh.

1. A working brain
2. Passion
3. Learning
4. Having inspiring people and situations around me
5. A challenging job
6. Good, intimate friends
7. Travel
8. Freedom to choose
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
psychology (maybe since I work as a consultant for a major CBT project on depression), philosophy (informally), and general applied existentialism. I appreciate the opportunity to voice my deepest musings, and relish the chance to hear someone else's.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working, more often than not of late (This PhD is brutal! Be my friend!). :/ On an IDEAL Friday night, I'd be hanging with a friend, out or in, discussing a recent read, reviewing projects, museum or gallery hopping, or dissecting an indie film. I try to learn something new every day...isn't it so much better to do it with a friend?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think my profile has admitted quite a lot? Others? Let's go for odd, not just private:

I'm pomosexual (not "bi" I've mentioned repeatedly on the site. Wiki has a great stub if you're not familiar...once you've read it, if you still have questions I'm happy to explain further.). I've been beaten up by a priest, but that's not why I hate and mistrust religions. I've played with baby tigers in China, after I was abandoned by my travel partner. I am exhausted by the thought of being in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) with someone who refuses to or can't openly communicate their thoughts and feelings. I have no family. There's a six inch scar hidden somewhere on my body from a killer car accident in New Delhi (I'm a survivor!). I owned six rats as pets when I was young. I write! Ask me about my latest project (or better yet, tell me about yours!). Lived in five countries, traveled to many others. Have had typhoid. I did not like Oxford, for many reasons. I treat crazy people....but I don't date them. ;)
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're a knowledge-driven LOCAL individual. Slightly nerdy. Darkly humorous. Ready for a steady....friendship...that matters.

AND if you want to go on a cruise. Because I really REALLY want a fun bunk mate--and it's too damn expensive alone! :)

...Ugh...and this personality algorithm? I sure hope it's not true, cause I'm a LESS geeky, MORE dependent, unartistic, laid-back, emotionless bastard. Only one of those is true! I'm extremely honest, however, a non-traditionalist, and willing to self-criticize...which, I think, is responsible for me showing up as very atypically weighted toward certain extremes. Would love to see the science behind it ;).