If I send you a message, you will read it and you will probably think I sound like an idiot.
Unfortunately you are probably right. Please don't hold it against me.
So here we go......
I'm looking for someone awesome to dedicate my time and attention to. She has to enjoy corny off the wall humor because that's about all I know how to do. A lovely singing voice would be nice but tone deaf and off key can be just as fun. I have more fun in the kitchen than anywhere else in the house so if you are a fan of really awful food and frozen microwavable rubbish then you might as well stop reading and move on to the next profile because I feed to please.
I think baseball is very boring and I don't follow it. I understand it perfectly well, but I'd rather be doing something else. Here's to doing something else!
Sometimes I have a beard. Sometimes I don't.
If you don't like beards or if you do like beards, I can shave it or grow it. It's no big deal either way. If I find you to be awesome, I'll shave or grow to your hearts content.
I do like having a beard in the winter because I like a warm face.
I will point out and make fun of you for grammar and spelling mistakes while making grammar and spelling mistakes of my own. I expect to be ridiculed for my mistakes too. Learning is fun!