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29 M Atlanta, GA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:46pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
When drinking
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has dogs

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My self-summary
I hate having fun. Music annoys me and I'd rather sit in silence. Michael Vick is my idol, as i hate all animals. Being outdoors is scary, and nothing good can come from it. I have never once laughed in my life and I see no point in starting now. Working out and staying fit are tedious tasks that I'd rather not bother with.

None of this is actually true, but I figured just about everyone's profile pretty much says the same generic thing ("I'm laid back and like music, laughing and having fun... Blah, blah, blah"). Why not try something different? I also forgot to mention that I have an awful sense of humor, and absolutely no understanding of the concept of sarcasm.

But in all seriousness, I am the following: A man from Brooklyn (or Miami, depending on who's asking), a graduate of Florida State University, a former banker and current bartender, an avid lover of corny jokes, jokes made "too soon", awkward pauses after jokes made "too soon", late nights, early mornings, and everything in between...
What I’m doing with my life
My current vocation finds me providing an invaluable service to my community, as I provide nourishment for families, psychological counseling for those that seek it, and I even sometimes find myself hosting lavish parties for local millionaires... Really, I'm just a bartender and a server for a "higher-class" restaurant, but the former sounds a lot more appealing, doesn't it?

I also volunteer with Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Atlanta, and it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And also the most entertaining; having an excuse to look forward to awful kid's movies and a seven-year old's eyes to see the zoo, the aquarium, Turner field, and Legoland through is awesome! Sounds selfish, but there's no such thing as a selfless good deed, right?

When I'm not working or enjoying the company of a seven-year-old boy (sounds creepy, doesn't it?), I spend a lot of my free time writing, reading, keeping up with the sports teams I hold so dearly (I drown myself in sorrow and booze the day in July every year that the Mets are mathematically eliminated as if it's my own personal day of mourning), and playing the smartass/devil's advocate amongst my friends.
I’m really good at
Self deprecating humor, pointing out the obvious in a not-so-obvious way, making jokes that are far out of line, staying up later than I should, quoting everything from Chappelle to the Simpson's, fantasy football, flag football, virtual football, football with seven-year-olds, creating (drinks, dishes, fun ideas for a Saturday, short stories, etc.), diffusing awkwardness, being a big brother, remembering details, ordering a bottle of wine, picking out presents, and other small gestures of kindness...
Amongst other things...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
These are better left to conversation, but I'll say my tastes are eclectic in the very least...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You think I sound fun or witty or attractive or interesting or even if you just want or need an extra for a pickup game... Or trivia... I'm good at trivia.