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29 Cypress, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Sep 18
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Catholicism and laughing about it
Working on Two-year college
Wants kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), German (Somewhat), Irish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Yo, 'name's Joe (what are the odds?) & the following has been conveniently categorized for your expedient dismissal of me :P

On The Surface
I look like an 80's-90's metal head, Ren Faire nerd, or a hippie, none of which I would dispute :)
I may talk serious & matter-of-factly, w/ 3+ syllable words, but I promise I'm a puppy & am thus harmless.

I'm a recovering gamer; I've yet to find that good -healthy- balance between life & the virtual alternative~ I grew up on the vintage consoles, & when I got a PC that could run emulators, I never went back, except for the occasional Super Smash Bros madness at various friends' houses.

I've dabbled in Astrology, Tarot reading, & Palmistry. I also (inconsistently) practice Juggling, Contact Juggling, Sword Swallowing as well as Fire Eating on the rare occasion I can legally do so. I'm also curious in trying out Escape Artistry, Slight of Hand, & other skills related to sideshow.
As far as instruments are concerned, I can play some simple tunes on the Concertina which is like a little box- accordion.

I enjoy being physical & I prefer Sports like Hiking, Swimming, Kayaking, Cross Country, Archery & Fencing. I'm good w/ team sports too, though, but I can't say I'm a fan of watching.. at all. I might also like Surfing & other board & skating sports too, though I never got my balance down perfectly, I still fall at least once every time I go Ice Skating. Broom Ball however x_x
I'd also like to try Parkour w/ someone, maybe get back into a regular workout routine that concludes w/ a nice swim as a cool down.

I like talking Science, History & Astronomy, so anything relating to those subjects interest me, same as Technology & its advancements. Yes, I'm a nerd & yes I love reading/learning about this stuff. People in general are fascinating too, though specifically, I'm obsessed w/ the continued progress of the Human Race, & how far it's come -I'm both concerned & excited for these next 150 years.

Depending on the company, I'm either laughing to myself, or I am joined by others in my enjoyment of life. According to the theory of the Four Temperaments, I'm a primary Sanguine secondary Phlegmatic. Personality Type Theory, which some may be more familiar w/ places me pretty solidly in INFP territory. I just wanted to include that~
Generally I'm pretty cool-headed, relaxed & easy going... What more can I say; the Hippy life agrees w/ me ;)

I'm just as comfortable in a hidden coffee shoppe as I am at a music festival (unless the music sucks), though as far as initiating conversation goes, I don't often make the first move. I can be talkative, but by no means can I carry a conversation by myself. I mumble, I stutter, but not to the point it's super noticeable. Just so long as you're not too bothered w/ repeating yourself, I promise not to be bothered w/ repeating myself when I run my words together in wondrous Carrollian style.

Overgeneralized Philosophies
As a human being, I do what I can, and make the most out of any situation, good or bad. Not that I'm not prone to have negative traits, as all humans are, being that we're by nature imperfect creatures.
The concept of equality is important to me. I strongly resent any sort of social stigma that would differentiate between peoples of different strengths, and classify one as being "better" than another by some make-believe hierarchy. I don't care for those who are particularly judgmental or are stuck in an "all or none" opinion. In this world, there are no absolutes; anything resembling such things of definition are further obscured by variables both within & outside of our senses. So please check your predispositions at the door, it's not a bad thing to allow yourself to be surprised.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Primarily working as a Massage Therapist (for about 6 years now).

Working Halloween Haunt, Renaissance Festivals & Faires too, when in season~

Exploring new things in my free time.

Contemplating my next big life decision(s).

Getting my "Bachelor Bod" back :P
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Acting obnoxious
Being optimistic.
Being easy to get along with
Massage or so I'm told. ;P
Wrestling for some strange reason.
Making faces, srsly.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My *~Dimples~* & my long luxurious hair *slowmo-hairflip*

My casual demeanor in my day to day... More accurately, my consistent ability to reflect that I hardly take anything too seriously.
Just be prepared to disregard much of the random things that can come out of my mouth & if you have a heart, you'll laugh nervously. Although if I'm legitimately funny, better yet :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books (ARE SEXY): I'm into reading alot of nonfiction, not too many story books or the classics.. at least, not as many as I'd like to admit. Specifically anything related to history or the occult. I'm definitely an appreciator of literature & (good) poetry. Anything else, see "Interests" above^^

My Top 10 for Movies: in no particular order
Fight ClubThe Big Lebowski
The Bourne IdentityOceans Eleven
The Shawshank RedemptionThe Prestige
Kill BillPan's Labyrinth
Scott Pilgrim vs. The WorldWatchmen

My Top 10 for Youtubes:
VsauceRWBY RIP Monty Oum :(
Epic Rap Battles of HistoryCyanide & Happiness
Honest TrailersHow it Should Have Ended
Death BattleThe Game Theorists

My Top 10 for Show-shows:
FuturamaSouth Park
The Walking DeadFirefly
Breaking BadNova
Samurai ChamplooBlack Lagoon
Game of ThronesArrested Development

My Top 13 for Music: because 10 was too hard to narrow down
Alice In ChainsEminem
Gogol BordelloJimi Hendrix
The Mars VoltaMindless Self-Indulgence
Pink FloydQueen
System of a DownTool

My Top 10 for Food:
CheesecakeUdon Stir-Fry
Soft Shell CrabSushi w/ plenty of ginger
Buffalo WingsStreet Tacos w/ EVERYTHING
Chili Cheese Fries w/ grilled onions & maybe hot sauce
Filet MignonPho tripe, tendon
Jalepeno-Pineapple Pizza +pepperoni &/or something else.. also hot sauce
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could actually do without alot, I'm a survivor, yo. ^^,

However, since everyone else is doin' it~

WikipediaCar how do you even Socal w/o??
BlackberryGame Plan
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a ding-dong?

Lunar Space Elevators made of Kevlar.

Corny, foolish & romantic plans.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Enjoying what I have and the company my friends bring, or simply working.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd stayed pretty hardcore Catholic for many years, abstaining from intoxicating substances (except for caffeine, because that's totally fine @_@), cursing, & premarital sex.

To put a number on it, I'd never actually ingested alcohol until 22, though I bought beer for my friends prior to then (go figure).

Fuck if I remember when my vocabulary went to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks :P

Coitus? I'm not one to kiss & tell; you'll have to message me if you wanna talk about that ;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
The Following Need Not All apply collectively

● If you're not bothered by guys with long hair :p

● You don't plan on trying to sell me on Apple products *shifty*

● You're something of a bookworm, or a nerd.

● You can keep up with the boys and still wear a skirt.

● You believe there's nothing inherently wrong w/ an occasional silence, as awkward as they may be for some.

● You're really into at the very least one of the arts.

● You appreciate &/or practice some form of dance.

● You have a dark side, or are interested in The Occult,metaphysics or the paranormal.

● You're open minded, free spirited &/or consider yourself Progressive.

● You have/had Dreadlocks or ever considered getting them.
Girls with dreads are incredibly hot btw.

● You're a Gypsy, Bohemian, Hippie, &/or other unorthodox anomaly of society (it's tragic how rare the aforementioned are).

● You try not to limit yourself in experiencing & enjoying that which life has to offer~

● You take your health & well-being seriously.

● You have that strong desire to travel, not really caring where.

● You can speak some Gaeilge, Spanish, German or Greek, & wouldn't mind helping me practice :D

● You wouldn't mind teaching me something new :)

You put the Wo in Woman