But I am reminded of an old joke about a hapless, down-on-his-luck fellow named Paddy O'Brien who continually prays to God to let him win the Irish Sweepstakes. Winless, hopeless and seemingly foresaken, Paddy cries to his Lord, "Oh God, Why Not Me?" Then the clouds part, a brilliant sunbeam shines on Paddy and he hears a booming voice respond, "Paddy, will you meet me halfway and buy a lottery ticket!"
So began thinking of how I could open myself to the abundance of the universe and meet that special someone. I am sure God has his plan for me just like he did for ole Paddy O'Brien, and so I decided that I should meet him halfway. So here goes...
"I'm a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school; and my inner child is outward-bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer; voice-activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database; my database is in cyberspace; so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive."
George Carlin wrote that; but I wish that I did since it describe me well - especially because it's true that I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive (i.e., a nuclear engineer by training).
So here are a few facts about me.
I've been divorced for 6 years.
My son lives in Gulf Shores, AL and I disappear from time to time to go over and visit him. We play a lot of golf together.
Dukedog9 is a tribute to my Border Collie / Black Lab named Duke who just passed away. Who knew there were so many Dukedogs out there.
I like intelligent women, humor, theater in all forms, big cities, quiet moments, playing golf and tennis, good books, romance, electronic gadgets, good friends, and for music I like classic rock, jazz, Gregorian Chants, and classical guitar and piano.
I have developed many useful and wonderful skills but few of them relate to camping. Poison Ivy and I just do not mix despite several youthful attempts to power through. So now my idea of roughing it is staying in a hotel that doesn't have room service.
Dogs like me. Cats, well it's hard to get an honest opinion from them sometimes, but one just adopted me so I guess that's one vote for "yes."
I'm fully domesticated. I am able to fix just about anything or able to find out who can fix it.
I've been cooking for over 40 years and I'm pretty good at it. I learned to cook Italian in Naples, Italy. (I just re-read that sentence, and I should clarify that I cook Italian recipes, not actual Italian people - that would be just way too creepy. Besides Italians are usually stringy...)
I like Alfred Hitchcock movies.
I don't drink often or very much because there's just no upside to it anymore.
I am an "Officer and a Gentleman", but we may have to compromise a little if you want me to come into your work and carry you off in my Dress Whites. (Hint: I'm better at being charming like Richard Gere in "Pretty Woman", than carrying someone through a building in a manner other than the basic fireman's carry. And no matter how hard I try with that fireman's carry, it's just not that romantic, even in Dress Whites.)
Right now, I want to be more social and see if I met God halfway.
I expect him to surprise me when I least expect it.
My Perfect Match will:
Be at least one year out from her last serious relationship.
Have clear goals and have focus in her life.
Be pretty, and witty, and bright! And feel pity, for any girl who isn't her tonight!
Be quietly, but firmly, spiritual. One who practices random kindness and senseless acts of beauty by nature and not just for public recognition.
Be willing to meet me in the middle.
Know her own mind, talents, emotions, and foibles - and loves herself anyway.
Be open to a healthier lifestyle that includes less junk food, packaged food, and fast food.
Be willing to share her kitchen and cook with me.
Enjoy exercise, and play or be willing to learn golf and/or tennis. Oh, and she should be able to tolerate watching football.
Appreciate Popular Culture.
So thank you for taking the time to read this. Hopefully these words have piquéd your interest. If they do, please send me an email and introduce yourself. If not, good luck with your search.