So here goes..... I've been divorced for 7 years.
I have a 19-year-old son who lives in Gulf Shores, AL and I disappear from time to time to visit with him. We play a lot of golf together.
Dukedog9 is a tribute to my Border Collie / Black Lab named Duke who passed away. I'm basically a dog person, but a cat recently walked into my home and adopted me. I reluctantly acquiesced, and now I have this nagging hunch that this cat is plotting to kill me. I wanted a loyal and protective Doberman, but ended up with a sociopathic cat. Isn't that just like Life?
I enjoy the company of intelligent women, humor, theater in all forms, big cities, quiet moments, Alfred Hitchcock movies, playing golf and tennis, working out, sailing, great books, romance, good friends, good bourbon, and good wine. For music I like classic rock, jazz, bluegrass, blues, country, show tunes, Gregorian Chants, and classical guitar and piano.
I've been cooking for over 40 years and I'm pretty good at it. I learned to cook Italian in Naples, Italy.
I don't drink often or very much because there's just no upside to it anymore.
I do laugh often and very much because there's no downside to it anymore. I have been described as having a "wicked," "irreverent," and "quick witted" sense of humor. I believe humor is good for the soul.
I am an "Officer and a Gentleman," but if you want me to come into your workplace and carry you away in my Dress Whites, we may have to compromise a little. I know that it's an iconic movie moment, and I understand the allure of being whisked away from your workplace by a Navy man ready to take you on adventures around the world, but for me, no matter how hard I try, it's just not that romantic carrying a woman through a room using the fireman's carry.
My Ideal Match will: [My further thoughts (from experience) are in parentheses. You will see that I have very high standards!]
Be at least one year out from her last serious relationship. (Please Lord, that includes her Prison Pen Pals too.)
Be pretty, and witty, and bright! And feel pity, for any girl who isn't her tonight! (Please Lord, let her be good at trivia.)
Be quietly, but firmly, spiritual. (Please Lord, Listen to her prayers and grant those you can, but please refrain from talking to her directly.)
Think that librarians are cool people because they get to work around books all day long. (Please Lord, let her own a library card or use a Kindle Reader.)
Know her own mind, talents, emotions, and foibles - and loves herself anyway. (Please Lord, let her be amazingly self-aware and considerate.)
Have clear goals and focus in her life. (Please Lord, let not one of those goals be to raise her grandchild by herself.)
Be open to a healthier lifestyle that includes no junk food, packaged food, and fast food. (Please Lord, let not her favorite meal be a double cheeseburger served between grilled Krispy Kreme donuts, a large fry and a Diet Coke.)
Be willing to share her kitchen and cook with me. (Please Lord, let both her knives and her wit be sharp.)
Be active and enjoy exercise. (Please Lord, let her think my post-exercise pheromones are amazing.)
Be willing to meet me in the middle. (Please Lord, when she and I compromise, could we please not always do things her way.)
So thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you had a few chuckles along the way. If you message me here and I don't respond, there's a good chance that my cat was successful in his plot. (Please Lord, grant me peace, and don't let my boss who's come looking for me find the cat feasting on my carcass.)
Post-Script: I make a great friend who can fix just about anything (well maybe not Congress but most other problems around the house.) But I do have my limits. When I was in college, I had a girlfriend who drove a school bus. She finally told me where to get off. Actually we broke up when I realized that our dates mainly consisted of sweeping out and cleaning her bus. Live and Learn - that's one of my mottos.
Post-Script Script: I made a joke earlier about a woman who is raising her grandchild. If this is your circumstance I want you to know that I think you are a phenomenal person for picking up this task and performing it to the best of your ability. You have my empathy and sympathy.
For a first date, I like to do quick "meet and greet" with some open time afterwards to continue if we both agree that we'd like to keep the conversation going. But that's just my preference. I'd insist for the first date that we do things your way. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Besides I don't have much "game" left. Don't get me wrong - I'm a guy. I can make a move; but these days it takes a bit of an effort.
And by this I mean, if you're tone deaf, own a potter's wheel and have some extra clay, and you fit into one of my white shirts, then I could make a move. I would sing "Unchained Melody" into your tone deaf ear while sitting behind you on the bench while we make the world's ugliest vase together. But that is like a perfect storm of circumstances, just for me to make a move.
It would be a lot easier if you just pick a nice place for us to meet.