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EEpstein722

29 F Austin, TX

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:33pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly), Yiddish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I only date feminists/feminist-allies. No exceptions.

Here's some things I'm good at: cooking, crafting, cuddling. Dancing. Flirting. Social justice-ing. Being chipper. Being goofy. Loudness. Bonding with your pets. Impressing your parents. Being adventurous. Kissing. Staying optimistic. Having boobs.

Things I'm bad at: paying attention for long periods, being decisive, putting down my damn phone, keeping my apt clean. Going to bed on time. Getting regular haircuts. Biting my tongue. Using an 'inside voice'. Spelling optimistic. Wearing bras.

I have a cat named Chopper, who is ridiculous. She's fat and whiny, and her voice is gravely, like she's been smoking a pack a day for years. When she's angry she sounds like a banjo. I have a part-time cat named Fenny (shared custody) who taught herself to pee in my toilet. I've never been prouder of anyone/thing before. I love dogs, but #catlady4life

I'm not skinny. I'm curvy and round and strong. I've got a belly and boobs and wide hips. If you don't like women with those sorts of dimensions, I'm not the right one for you. Just saving you (and me) some time. :)

I spent some time in my undergrad at an Ivy League, but I won't be a jerk about it.
What I’m doing with my life
I am on the beginning steps of a road towards becoming a certified nurse midwife. I want my life's work to be about helping women make choices for their own body. Huzzah.

(more specific update: I'm taking pre-reqs for nursing school, looking for p/t work to pay my bills, training to be an Introduction Leader for Landmark Worldwide and I'm about to start volunteering as a troop leader for Girl Scouts, which is all super duper exciting for me)
I’m really good at
Speed reading, having a weirdly flexible body, working a crowd, napping, knitting, noticing when you've had a haircut.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: Ayn Rand. Jk.

Really: stories that use beautiful language or a sense of whimsy- anything by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ray Bradbury, T C Boyle, Lauren Groff, Arundhati Roy, Margaret Atwood, Barbara Kingsolver, Gaiman, Vonnegut. I love short story collections for some reason. Something about condensing a whole story into 15 pages really appeals to me.

I also really like narrative science writing, like "The Secret Life of the Lobster" and "Rats: Observations on the History and Habitat of the City's Most Unwanted Inhabitants." "A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson was super seminal in my development as a naturalist.

Protip: people who read a wide variety of authors (not just straight white dude authors) are much sexier. FYI.

My favorite book of all time is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (if I like you enough I'll show you my tattoo).

My favorite movies are sentimental childhood flicks (Empire Records, Wet Hot American Summer, Ace Ventura, etc), movies that move me (Volver, Ratatouille, Mary and Max, Harold & Maude), or fandom flicks (Cabin in the Woods, Hot Fuzz, Labyrinth). Movies that pass the Bechdel Test automatically move up the ranks.

TV: Lately I've been watching a lot of Bob's Burgers and Archer. Def need to start checking out anime.

FOOD: I'm currently a vegetarian (/experimenting with veganism!). That said, I am a big lover of most foodstuff, and I'm pretty adventurous. Except okra. Fuck you, okra.
The six things I could never do without
*chocolate- om nom nom!
*my glasses- i learned the hard way that getting clear plastic glasses are a bad idea if you tend to lose them easily...
*my cast iron skillet- there are so many foods that are 10x better made in a cast iron than in a skillet. Eggs, tofu, polenta, fish...
*my library card- big reader, dislike owning books. Libraries are the greatest invention ever
*self-care- whether it be physical or emotional, or even spritual, taking care of myself is paramount to being a productive/happy person.
(To quote the indomitable Audre Lorde, "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.")
I spend a lot of time thinking about
feminism, my friends, my cats, my fandoms, my future, my family. chocolate.

I also spend a lot of my brain time analyzing my interactions and experiences through the filter of privileges: "In what ways was what I said affected by being a woman? Queer? Fat? White?" etc.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I judge people who get the "STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to..." question wrong.

I'm kinky. And no, I'm not going to just tell you what that specifically means.

Also- I don't shave my armpits. Razors are dumb and I can always be Krumm from "Aah, Real Monsters!!" for Halloween in a pinch.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 24–38
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
You look like Nick Offerman. Or Nick Kroll. Hell, even Nick Fury would work. (My gender attractions are wildly fluid, and the pendulum tends to swing towards men. But that doesn't mean women shouldn't message me (heeeeey laaaadies), but I'm fickle so it's a gamble!)

You are a feminist/feminist ally.

You're a nerd. You're kind, empathic, and funny. You're smart. You're romantic and playful. You don't need me to fix you.

You love to read, and a perfect day with your partner would include some combo of taking a hike, then reading together in bed, messing around, cuddling, and watching Doctor Who(/Firefly/Archer/etc).

Last thing: I send first messages all the time (yes, women send them too!!), so I find it really special to receive a decent first message from a dude instead of sending it myself.