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54 San Diego, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Mar 15
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
A little extra
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Rather not say
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It's time to revise this and to get a little more frank again, because I am who and what I am, neither of us wants to waste time, right? Right. Let's get started.

Firstly, I don't make a lot of money. I don't have anything to speak of in the way of financial assets. I don't even have a car at the moment, nor do I expect to in the near future. I say this not because I think women are only interested in rich guys -- but it does matter. I can't travel to speak of. I have to limit my spending on all manner of recreational activities. If you're looking for someone to do go to South America with, or take a cruise with, or to go out with for fine dining and the theatre, and you lack the means or (understandably!) the inclination to be the one who pays all the time, then sadly, I'm not for you. Maybe in a few years -- but maybe not, too.

I'm also not a particularly active guy. I tend to prefer games to sports. I do like to swim when I can (or at least spend time in the water) and might enjoy scuba diving or snorkling under the right circumstances, but that's about it. Some nice walks, sure. Hikes up a mountain, not so much.

Another thing I don't much have the opportunity to do at the moment, but very much want to resume, is exploring my feminine side. In short, I sometimes cross-dress. I'll happily go into more detail if you care to ask, but that side of me has always been there, is nearly always part of my ways of thinking, and is sometimes going to be expressed. Some people in that situation keep it from their mates, often for years or decades, but I can't imagine loving someone who didn't accept that part of me. Exactly *how* it would fit into the relationship is quite negotiable, but if you can't be friends with "her" then you probably don't want to be intimate with me.

And finally, I do suffer from depression. Yes, I am getting treatment. No, that doesn't make me completely "all right" - it means that I don't drop into total despair too often, and I can generally cope with life on a daily basis -- with the occasional funk, but a little activity or distraction can usually pull me out of it. But the long-term effects are part of where I am where I am - alone, and not sure where I'm going.

So, with those out of the way, let me tell you how awesome I am. :)

Things I think you might like about me:

I'm tall. (Hey, that's important to some people.)

I'm a good conversationalist. I am interested in a broad range of topics, from science, history, politics, religion, and society to pop culture and trivia of all sorts. I have some pretty good stories to tell, though most of them aren't about me.

I have an award-winning sense of humor. No, really, I won an award once. :) I enjoy all sorts of humor, from the cornball to the edgy, slapstick to sophisticated satire. In some ways, I take humor seriously -- sometimes it's the only thing that wards off despair. Other times, it's just, well, fun. I'll probably make you laugh occasionally, and if you can make me laugh, it'll probably be instant infatuation. (Really, it's happened.)

I'm affectionate. I like touching. I like snuggling. I like trading backrubs. I love having my hair ruffled. (I've got lots of hair.) I'm not embarrassed to hold hands in public. If you fit well in laps, you'll have a reserved seat.

Honesty. I kind of hate even saying that, really, because what's the point? If I'm not honest, I'd probably lie and say I was. What used car lot or corrupt politician has "Not particularly honest" in their advertising? But really, I try to be honest. (And not the kind of honesty some people use as a license to be offensive, either.)

I'm generally pretty easy-going. Sure, I get stressed now and then, upset from time to time, but usually, I move past it pretty quickly, particularly in good company.

My tastes in most things -- music, movies, games, travel destinations, books, TV shows, and the like -- are varied enough that it's pretty likely we can find common ground. And also pretty likely we'll have some stuff to learn from each other, too.

Things about me that might be a bit more problematic, depending on you:

I'm a fussy eater. I tend to like foods simple and separated, rather than all mixed together. I am apt to go into your more upscale eating places, browse the menu for a bit, and ask, "Don't they have any actual food here?" Chasing after exotic foods is not something I'm generally apt to do, so if you talk me into trying that Thai/Mexican/Somali Fusion place everyone's been talking about, you'll know I must really like you...

I sing...and, well, not particularly well (though not as badly as I once did). I like to sing along with the car stereo or whatever I'm listening to. If you want to sing duets, please drop me a line! If you want me to shut up so you can hear the actual performers once in a may have to say so now and then. :)

Remember the bit above about telling stories, but not usually mine? Well, if you hang around me long enough, there are certain people whose lives and anecdotes you're going to learn about whether you want to or not. :) I have innumerable stories about Isaac Asimov, Linda Ellerbe, Harpo Marx and his brothers, Mark Evanier, Richard Feynman, and assorted astronauts that tend to figure into my conversations pretty often. I think they're pretty good stories, mind you...I'm just warning you.

But I need someone. I feel incomplete. I always have. I want a partner. I want to be part of an "us." I want someone who actually wants to talk to me every day. To go places and do things I might not ordinarily be interested in, knowing I will enjoy them because she's with me. To support and comfort, and be supported and comforted by. To write notes to that others might find corny or silly, and to not care what they think. To laugh with, cry on, touch and be touched by, to trade snarky whispers or text messages, to look in the eyes and know that everything is all right. To be passionate with -- about our interests, our causes, and each other. To call on the phone for no other reason than because hearing her voice makes the day better.


Since I've been told I don't always appreciate my own qualities, I solicited testimonials from some friends who have known me for many years. Here you go:

"Rob is kind and loyal, able
to offer sympathy and support,
dependable and true. There is
not a single 'phony' bone in this
man's body or soul. His integrity
is unquestioned."
- SS

"I hate to say Rob's a great guy, because it
sounds so cliche. But, honestly, he is. He's
got a great sense of humor, very intelligent,
and one of my favorite people to be around.
He's also as dependable as they come. He's
really a terrific friend, and I'd say anyone
would be lucky to have him!

On the down side, he's pretty tall, and I hate
that about him. He also mixes sweeteners, which
drives me totally insane. Anyone else I would
have cast to the roadside, but because he's
such a great guy, I overlook these critical

"Having known Rob for most of his life, I know
that everyone will probably mention his
wonderful sense of humor, and his high
intelligence. What is less obvious is that he
stands by his friends, even to the point of
tactfully telling them the truths they don't
want to hear but must hear. If you need him, he
will be there for you. And, unlike many bright
people, Rob uses that fine mind; he reads as
much as anyone else I know, and in a broad area
rather than a narrow one. He cares passionately
about politics and government without being an
extremist, and he is in touch with much of
popular culture. Yet despite all of this, he
cannot be complete of himself; he needs people,
and he needs a woman to love him. He's a
complex man with a lot to explore, and he is
absolutely worthy of your time."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Wondering why you have to do something with your life. Wouldn't it be enough to just enjoy it while it lasts? (Not that I'm very good at doing that, either...)

But, I'm occupying my time and my mind. Spending too much time lately on mass transit. Eating ice cream when I can. Enjoying the company of the people who enjoy mine. And trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Expressing myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm big. I can be loud, usually not on purpose.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Everything by Christopher Moore, particularly "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal." "Harpo Speaks!" and most books about The Marx Brothers. Science fiction, history, biography, and things that are fun.
Movies: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Apollo 13, Ghostbusters, Casablanca, The Life of Brian, The Incredibles (and all Pixar films so far), Spider-Man I & II, Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, Swimming to Cambodia
Music: The Beatles, classic rock in general, 80's, "Weird Al" Yancovic, most things that are slightly "off"
Food: Ice cream.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
At least three of them are probably my sense of humor. Then, friends, books, and the internet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why people won't read Christopher Moore books no matter how much I urge them to. The man is a fucking genius.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably puttering on the computer, watching videos, sometimes lucky enough to be out with friends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I tear up at the STUPIDEST damn movies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like good conversations, reasonably-priced food, games, spirited discussions without hostility, tall guys, or Disneyland.