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EZasChildbirth

34 Glendale, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jul 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White, Other
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Tagalog (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Poorly), Latin (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I grew up in Chicago, but moved 'cuz it was too testosteroni (the cut of meat meatheads are made out of).

I am kind, and take after my grandma in that I like to make people feel at home and full of snacks.

When I was 4, I pretended to speak in tongues (I was forced to go to a church like "Jesus Camp" or "Red State"), and everyone believed me, then I laughed about it, then got beat with a paddle, then I laughed even louder, then I got really mad that no one else thought it was funny. THIS is a theme in my life.

When people ask "what's your favorite memory," I almost always think of the time I was a kid and saw a very fat woman fall down an escalator at the mall. It was beautiful.

I make it a priority to entertain myself, and I am easily entertained, but I am even more entertained when I'm with people who find me entertaining/ who I am entertained by.

I try my best to treat life as a joke. I will smile and laugh a lot until I die (then smile and laugh more when I find out what actually happens :D). This is because...

I almost was a NeuroPsychologist, but I'm really awful at pretending to be professional with adults (I prefer the company of animals, children, and/or the developmentally disabled best!).

I make cartoons and stories. It'd help if you did too so we could do it together (I suppose?), but not really, so long as you understand that it takes a lot of time since they have not yet invented a usb/firewire for insertion into human brains (stupid, lazy evolution!).

I am especially bad at being around pretentious people who talk down at/about others who are different in an attempt to build themselves up.

When not animating, I like to leave the house and get lost on purpose. I like to bring my sketchbook and make up stories about the people sitting around me as I draw them (it's an interactive game. you can play too! The same cannot be said for people who sit liking instagram pics on their iphones).

I will eat anything twice.

I come from a long line of professional, working-class drunks. Though not an alcoholic myself, I do really enjoy being with people who get loud and laughy once in a while.

Sometimes, I like to spin in circles in outdoor locations, then collapse and spaaace out (ideally on the ground or in water).

Sometimes I try to make up new dances in front of the mirror to entertain myself (sometimes = daily). I'd like to dance with other people too (hint! hint!), especially those who do not take it seriously (ESPECIALLY 50's sock-hop, mashed potato, shoulder-shimmy twists!!!).

I love to talk for long periods of time in accents or wacky voices in hopes that someone else will play with me (ex: I saw a bumper sticker that read "My Chiiiild is an Accelerated Reeeader at Taft Elementary School" and spent the next 15 minutes repeating it in the most pretentious Mom voice I could muster." If this sounds annoying, you will hate me.)

I will sing for you if you want. I will sing for you if you don't want. Sometimes silly singing, sometimes smooooth. I also like those schoolyard paddy-cake hand-clap games the black girls play. FUNNNN!

Mainly, I just want to play. I laugh at weddings, funerals, churches, and places where people are dressed in polyester do fancypantsy business transactions and shake my hand like a manly man.

I prefer to live in a place like Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I like to draw on walls. I also like walk-in closets that are portals to alternate dimensions.

I've been called weird/retarded a lot, whatever that means (that being "normal" also means having low self-esteem and chronic social anxiety?).

I like to "make fun." If you are easily offended, you will call me an asshole. If you call me an asshole, it probably means you have a temper that you cannot control, and take life too seriously.

We won't get along unless you get the joke.

I want the last word I say before I die to be "Wheeeeee!"

or.. "The dishes are done, man" (though this makes for a better suicide note).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Storyboards. Scripts. Comics. Animation. VFX. Singing songs. Hand-clapping. Making music. Doo Wop. Dancing like a doofus. Standing on my head (yeah yeah, Yoga). Lazy bike riding. Beach naps. Druggggz. LaLaLa! GiggleGiggle. BOOF! SPLAAAAT! !!!YAAAAAY!!! (Help me help you help us not turn into Grroanupz?).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
..laughing while having ridiculously childish, retarded fun (and not only did I do Masters study in Developmental Neuropsychology, and teach Special Ed, but I'm a "High-Functioning" Autistic, so when I say retarded fun, I MEAN it as the highest of praise, dum-dum! :P ). If you are low-energy, you probably won't like me, or even worse, you will like me, then suck all the energy out of my with your dooooom.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I make funny faces at you. I study you like a good animator, memorize your gestures and quirks. I talk silly, make noises, and never be serious. Also, "luxurious eyelashes," says many girls. ::shrugs:::
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Persimmons, Hawaiian bread, Halo-Halo, Brain Wave Vibration dancing, Lamb Tikka Masala, Balut, Wacky Delly (Cartoons are fun!), Wacky movies (Daisies, House, Fantastic Planet, TerrorVision), Adventure Time!, Pet Girl of Sakurasou, Cashews, Samosas, Doo-Wop, Polka, Pan's Labyrinth, Pete&Pete, Freaks&Geeks, Sun Ra, Shaggs, Roald Dahl, Rosemary's Baby, Home Alone, etc... (though I've never had a relationship work purely on the basis of books, music, or movies, it's nice to dream).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
water. fruit. bloody meat. pens. paper. laughing.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
..if it's possible to get paid to do something which is also simultaneously something I am proud of.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My Friday is your Monday. Everyday is summer vacation because I saaaay sooo! :::CAAANNONBAAAAALLLL!!!:::SPLAAASHHHHH!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
No private. All-access. Ask=Answer. Secrets=Fear. Fear=Stupid.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
..you live near the beach ~~~

.. you want to go ice skating? (!^o^!)

..you love watching and/or making cartoons :D

..you want a play pal who will humor your wackiest whims (but nothing too expensive!; I'm broke :/ )

.. you think out loud.

..you treat life like a series of improv games.

.. you want to go dancing, and you make yourself laugh when you dance.

..you'd like to draw together.

..you wanna sing songs and play music together.

..you like to make up stories.

..you are chiiiilllll

..you are seriously chiiiilllll, meaning: you don't do that irritating girl thing (it's easier to give an example in person) where you get all offended/outraged/entitled about something (family/girlfriend/stranger/something someone "did" to you), and complain in short bursts of loud/whiny entitlement (ex: "I can't fucking believe blah bleh bluuurgghhhh..).

..you are soooooo amaaazingly chill and anti-drama that you won't even watch dramatic tv/movies because hearing humans huffing&puffing hyperbole and taking life too seriously seriously makes your insides feel like they're puking.

..you dislike most of "reality" so much that you'd rather build alternate reality worlds instead of your soul getting sad from news/gossip/politics/celebrities.

..you are bored and just feel like typing random shit to see what nonsequiturs I will respond with (challenge given!).

..you feel like getting loud and excitable about something with a stranger who is highly entertained by females who get loud and excitable.

..If, as a child, you got fucking teeth-gnashingly pissed and stabby when adults told you "there's a time to play and a time to be serious and now is the time to be serious!" because something inside you said that they were wrong and liars and --no matter what-- there was no fucking way you were going to spend the rest of your life being serious.. EVER... and you're still insisting on making this proclamation true, so help you (shakes fist angrily at the sky!!!).

..you wanna go busking near holiday shoppers and sing "A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector" in it's entirety?