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44 M Everson, WA

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 27–46
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Aug 22, 2013
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Not at all
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly), German (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a married polyamorous father of two who is open to the idea of sharing life with another person in an open and honest relationship of any sort, from casual friendship to emotional and physical intimates. I'm not into dishonesty or cheating. I'm best friends with my wife and she suggested I try OKCupid to meet new friends. My wife met her last boyfriend through OKCupid and was a decent match.

Although I am polyamorous I am not currently dating anyone other than my wife (a life-long date of continual romance). I'm not actively seeking out a new amorous relationship, but I would like new friendships and am open to a friendship expanding into something more meaningful.

I firmly believe that a life with more friends is a richer and better life. I view romantic relationships as an extreme form of friendship - I have a hard time even imagining passion without friendship and respect. That's not to say that I view every friendship as having a romantic aspect, as I certainly enjoy people in whatever context they decide to include themselves in my life.

I am inquisitive, sincere, and thoughtful
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a work-at-home software engineer and frequently like to indulge my hobby of photography and traditional Chinese tea served gongfu cha style. I've taken my passion for Chinese tea culture to such an extreme that I entered the World Tea Infusion Competition at the World Tea Expo, and managed to take second place. I also run a local tea club with monthly public tastings, and do presentations at the Northwest Tea Festival every year.

We have a remote country property with trails and woods and ponds (complete with beavers, river otters, eagles, blue herons, etc) that give ample room for play and photo shoots. I'm a bibliophile (worked in a bookstore for a few years), and enjoy Asian cinema, as well as antique auctions. Working at home gives me time to play with my kids, read stories to them, and go to their mid-day school holiday performances. I'm always looking for a new perspective on life and a chance to share the things I love with friends, new or old.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening. I'm also getting pretty good at cooking cajun and Indian food (and getting better at Thai and Hunan dishes). I'm deeply interested in all sorts of photography (I'm currently setting up a photo studio in the loft of our shop building), and when I get the chance I like writing short fiction. I love to act onstage although the unpredictability and need for improvisation sometimes terrifies me. I've also found that I'm pretty good at judging the temperatures/times/quantities needed for proper gong-fu tea serving. I'm usually pretty good at finding contentment and the good in just about any situation, despite a tendency toward the good-humored cynical.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
More often than not it's my smile, surrounded by my trimmed, but curly, beard. Some people say it looks rather Greek, although most of my parentage is Norwegian and German. That would explain my love of Roald Dahl and good brots.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Time Enough For Love (Robert Heinlein), Job: A Comedy of Justice (Heinlein), The Bridge (Iain Banks), Hitchikers Guide To the Galaxy "trilogy" (Douglas Adams), The Instance Of The Fingerpost (Iain Pears), The Bear Went Over The Mountain (William Kotzwinkle), Magician (Raymond E. Feist), Shadowland (Peter Straub), Dragon's Egg (Robert Forward), the Myth Adventures series (Robert Asprin), the joyful graphic novels of Phil Foglio, the short fiction of H.G. Wells, anything by Ray Bradbury, the works of H.P. Lovecraft, and the many mystery stories of Isaac Asimov. Sometime I like fluff such as the works of Dean Koontz, Stephen King, or John Grisham, but mostly when I'm trying to keep my mind off of something else such as when I'm flying.

Movies: Anything by Kurosawa (Dreams or Red Beard in particular), anything by Peter Greenaway (especially Drowning By Numbers or The Pillow Book), anything by Terry Gilliam (Brazil tops the list), anything by Miyazaki (My Neighbor Totoro, Future Boy Conan), anything by Jeunet (City of Lost Children, Delicatessen, Amelie), almost anything by Takeshi Kitano (Zatoichi, Takeshis, Brother, Sonatine), and I have a special place in my heart for the Chinese Ghost Story trilogy. I love anything powerful enough to make me cry (Grave of The Fireflies, Water). I value anything that will make me think about it a year later instead of being forgotten immediately after leaving the theater.

Music: Jill Sobule, Janis Ian, The Bobs, Arrogant Worms, Moxy Fruvous, David Brubeck, Paul Desmond, Gaia Consort, Philip Glass, Puffy Ami yumi, Uakti, The Art of Noise, Sugarplastic, Barenaked Ladies, Gaia Consort, They Might Be Giants, Tom Lehrer, and early Roger Waters. Thanks to a wife who managed a music store I've been introduced to good music in a variety of genres and found something I liked in nearly every one. I'll be listening to Simon & Garfunkel one moment, then Weird Al or Avril Lavigne the next. I like good rock operas, classic musicals, experimental or thematic music, love ballads, Japanese bubble-gum pop, Bollywood soundtracks, and satirical folk tunes.

Foods: Anything well-prepared and interesting. I'm appreciative of just about any cuisine and dish. From a good Greek salad to a Swiss Cheese fondue, from jambalaya to larb gai, I'm willing to give it a try. I love trying new spices; my cupboards are full of them. I'm in search of the perfect vegetarian cuisine that would make me forget my carnivorous urges. Indian food comes rather close, but even then a good paneer or dal dish has a hard time beating out a really nummy chicken korma. I've found tofu dishes I enjoy, but I just KNOW there's better recipes out there that use this guilt-free source of protein. I recently discovered spiced fried wheat gluten, a traditional Buddhist alternative to meat.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My wife 2. My daughter 3. My son 4. A pencil and paper 5. Something green to look at and be near 6. Open sky
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Relationships, philosophy, keeping green spaces near our home from being bulldozed, and keeping my eye open for the tiny unappreciated sights of the world. I wonder what I can do to bring happiness to my friends and family, I worry about the effects of modern extremist conservatism on my children's future, and I contemplate if the benefits of small-community bonding on natural selection are being completely offset by the damage this effect has on national or global cooperation. I also sometimes wonder if anybody else every thinks about the same sorts of things during a normal day. Then my mind goes on to something completely trivial, like wondering how I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about. I sometimes think myself into closed loops that make me a tad dizzy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At home with my wife and kids watching a movie or playing games with them. If the weather is good I might be battling acres of encroaching blackberry vines. Oh, and having a traditional Chinese tea with my wife and/or friends. An evening without a satisfying pu-erh or ti kuan yin is a lonely one.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I enjoy singing "Frank Mills" from the musical Hair in the shower. In near-falsetto.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think I sound interesting enough to start a converation with. I always find it fulfilling to make connections with people with similar interests, even as internet pen-pals. If more ever comes of it, so much the better! And if not, I never regret the contact with interesting new folk.