Okay, so after what was frankly a terrible first attempt at writing out a profile, I have decided to give it another crack; at this point it would probably be conducive to write something witty or amusing, but alas, it has been a long day. I will endeavour to make this as concise and interesting as possible, without coming across as a narcissistic wanker.

Anyway, to business:

I'm a fairly low maintenance person, generally a glass of decent whiskey, served on the rocks, and a Marlboro red will see me content for a while; just leave the rest of the bottle and the rest of the deck, and I'll be sorted for the remainder of the evening.

I would like to meet someone who looks after themselves, and likes to keep fit. I don't think it's especially difficult to find the time to do this; those who say it is are bone idle.

My favourite activities include: Photography, Cooking (If I can be arsed), Camping, Hiking, Gym, Gaming, laughing until it feels like I'm about to fucking die, Road trips / Magical mystery tours, Working on the absolute perfect cup of coffee, making people laugh, and the occasional cheeky gamble.

Oh, and I would love to have the discipline to learn to proficiently play a musical instrument, but it just frustrates the hell out of me.

I sometimes have difficulty differentiating between the Fox News Network and The Onion.

A favourite quote of mine:

"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person." - Oscar Wilde

An assortment of the above activities in various combinations. Also working, I have a full time job AND manage to fit in all that crazy crap! :D

I've recently moved to Stone, and now reside in a lovely apartment overlooking the canal.

Having a dry, black, and often inappropriate sense of humour.

Not catching Ebola.

My accent I would imagine, I've been told it sounds "generically well spoken", or if you prefer the slightly more unflattering version: "He sounds like a right posh c**t." (Actual quote).

Books:

I quite like World War 2 and Vietnam War era non-fiction; be it accounts by actual Soldiers/Airmen, or a wider perspective written by a historian.

Movies:

Waaaaay too many to list here; ask?

Shows:

Breaking Bad (awesome!), Dexter, BSG, House, Family Guy, Archer, South Park, The Walking Dead, Black Books, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Firefly, Generation Kill, Peep Show, The Fast Show, Bottom, The Young Ones, Harry & Paul, That Mitchell & Webb look.

Most definitely not: Jersey Shore, TOWIE, Strictly Come Dancing on Ice Factor, or any of that sort of bollocks.

Music:

Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Sound Garden, Alice In Chains, Rammstein, The Black Angels, Tracer, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Doors, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Black Label Society, The Pixies, Temple of the Dog, Screaming Trees, Soundgarden, The Who, Dr Dre, N.W.A, Snoop Dogg, Neil Young, The Prodigy, Pink Floyd.......I could keep going, but I think that gives the general idea. My band of the moment would have to be Tool, whom I felt deserved a special mention.

Food:

Stuffed crust pizza, wasabi peanuts, cheese, sushi

1. Laptop and an internet connection.

2. Beer.

3. A good pair of walking boots.

4. Sandwiches.

5. The five minutes immediately after finishing work on a Friday.

6. Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Possible inventions that I could patent.

If the multiverse is a thing.

Beer! Or wondering why there is so much month left at the end of the money.

I am prone to occasional bouts of misanthropy.

I fail to understand why football is such a big thing.

I have an unexplained, yet profound hatred of short term loan companies.

I'm more reliant on spell checker than I'd like to think.

Well if you managed to get this far, you may as well.

Being easy on the eye and not a boring sod also helps.

You would like to have a rant about something we find mutually disagreeable.