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31 Brooklyn, NY Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 26-37
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 20, 2014
5' 4" (1.63m)
Special Diet
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Sharp tongue, gold heart, filthy mind.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing, sex educating (for a living, as a legitimate profession, it's real, okay?), making questionable decisions, giving a shit about humanity, impromptu road tripping, bowling, getting into fights with misogynists.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Constantly being recognized in public from my OKCupid profile, which is not at all weird or disconcerting.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Is that pencil really holding all your hair up? What happened to your eyebrow? You sure have a lot of opinions. Nice rack."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I refuse to participate in this wankery, and I'm not reading any of yours either.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
High fives, thumbs ups, fist bumps, middle fingers, metal fingers, gun fingers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Dude watch this "original video" of Kenny Rogers' The Gambler and just TRY to have a bad day:

(Spoiler alert: he pulls money out of his pants!)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Face down, ass up, that's the way I like to look for the remote control under my couch.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been obsessively into beards/facial hair since forever...even before I moved to Brooklyn. Also, I'm super into cats and I will stop and squeal over every little doggie I see on the street. You're gonna have to be okay with this.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
A benevolent friend with super OKCupid powers has graciously expanded my previously perpetually full inbox, so now it's anybody's game. Give it your best shot, funbuns, but don't get all sad panda on me if I don't write back. We're all well aware that ladies on here are completely inundated, yes? Yes. If we mutually star each other...things are about to get western.

This is where my profile name comes from, just so you all stop embarrassing yourselves by asking me why I hate soda so much:

Dudes who aren't willing to be matched with women over 30 when you're over 30 yourselves are...real special.