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Eis01000101

28 M Sacramento, CA

My Details

Last Online
Nov 5, 2013
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
Native American, White, Other
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Ich Liebe Google Translator.

I'm an odd one.

I like video games, because I'm a nerd like that. I used to play D&D and Magic the Gathering, but then the hardcore nerds started grating on my nerves. Then I bought a gameboy, and suddenly I don't need the interaction of other human beings. Fancy that.

I kind of come off as promiscuous to some people, but that's just because I'm slutty. No, wait, that didn't come out right. I don't believe in linking love to sex, and I rather enjoy sex. I spent a long time avoiding sex because I was looking for true love, and at this point, it's occurred to me that sex is a whole mess of fun. I don't think I've quite resolved that whole part where I pretend I'm not slutty, but whatever.

Other than that, I tend to enjoy being creepy and weird. Not for the sake of being creepy or weird, mind you, nothing to do with shock value. It's just where my sense of humor leads me.

On a more serious level, I'm rather strange. I can be very responsible up until such responsibility involves my life. I'm very kind and warm, but if I let someone in, I become very unforgiving and pessimistic.

"I hate when people define and describe themselves with quotes. It's almost as bad as people who quote themselves."

-- me

I thrive on disappointment. I think most of the people who know me in more than passing, if they read that, will think it applies to them, which is rather telling.

I am odd, entertaining, and loquacious
What I’m doing with my life
Not a damn thing. I like designing storylines and concepts, but I haven't published anything since I was in my early teens. (THIS IS A LIE, I RECENTLY PUBLISHED A CHILDREN'S BOOK ABOUT HOOKERS.) I rather want to pitch my stories to a publisher, but I want to build up a portfolio first. And, it's long term. For now, I'm just basking in the day as it passes slowly by. That way, I can be bitter when I'm old and have accomplished nothing. You know old people must be enjoying themselves, bitching about mp3s and Madonna and such.

Also, I'm working on my plans of world domination. So far, I'm in the stage just before planning, where you don't do anything. Usually, this step lasts for the few seconds between conceiving an idea and devising a plan, but I'm stretching it out because I feel that in some way this will make things work out better. I haven't figured out how that works, but I can just pay someone to justify my decisions for me when I own the world, so I'm not too worried.

More recently, I have decided that I should become a crazy cat lady later on in life, when I get old. My main cat will be named Snookums, and I will either be trying to play chess with him, or mistake him for my long dead husband that I never had and start yelling at him when he mounts the female cats to make some babies. "Damnit, Herald, I knew it, I KNEW IT! You WHORE! How many of them were there, Herald? HOW MANY?" This of course assumes that I actually grow old, instead of becoming a moomba, as Final Fantasy 8 would lead me to believe. I guess I'll just roll with whatever comes.
I’m really good at
Inanity, therapy, and judging you.

Being retarded is apparently just fine and dandy, if not enjoyable if you frame it up in appropriate grammar and ostentatious vocabulary. Pretending my lack of attention span is really non sequitur humor just sweetens the deal.

I'm a very good therapist, and I tend to have a gift for helping people out. If anything, I can help provide some clarity and perspective, and while I can't just fix your problems for you, I can show you a bit about dealing with them.

Sometimes, we all say something stupid, accidentally nonsensical, or not wholly appropriate to the situation. I'm here to help you out with that.
The first things people usually notice about me
Is that I'm smart. I'm not saying it's true; I did forget the french language as a whole for a decade. True story, there. But that seems to be the big thing people notice about me. It's pretty nice, I guess, and I really do like having my intellect be appreciated, because I worked really hard at it, but it makes me feel embarrassed to be overestimated and I think that my perceived intelligence also distracts people from my more emotional nature. Also, intellectual types always have this competitive urge to prove they're smarter than me, and it pisses me off.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(A) Swan Song, Snow Queen. I really like tragic and emotional things, along with some unreal edge to them, so fantasy, sci fi, post apocalyptic... especially the latter, because it just feels like it could suddenly happen at any time. Gets the whole survival instinct going and all. And, if zombies can somehow be involved, all the sweeter.

(B) Brave Little Toaster. Story of my life, that movie. Except for the happy ending, and the air conditioner dying traumatically in front of me. Also, the part with that creepy fat dude tugging that blenders cable off while everyone else watched in that dimly lit room... Ugh. Okay, so it isn't my life to a T, but the rest of it is totally and wholy acurate. I am, indeed, a toaster. And relatively brave, no less. And abandoned. A lot. *cry*

(C) Pretty noises. I'm not too particular, although I appreciate good vocals. La Roux is my current flavor of the month, and by month I mean quite possibly several years, as I don't tend to pay attention to music. Elly is just adorable, and that keyboardist of hers, Michael... I want to interact with his genitalia.

(D) Home made soymilk is the mack daddy pimp shit. Actually, I'm allergic to soymilk that isn't home made, but I still drink it because there is something inherently wrong with me.
The six things I could never do without
(1) Head (2) Shoulders (3) Knees (4) Toes (5) Knees (6) Toes

It seemed clever when I thought of it. Don't judge me.

(1) Cognizance. I could not stand to be unaware of existance.

(2) Kindness. Not in others, but myself. I would hate to lose my nurturing nature.

(3) Asshole comments. At the same time, I'd hate for fucked up stupid people to think that they're somehow appreciated. <3

(4) Interactions. I would hate to be entirely alone... unless everyone else is fucked up stupid. If so, then item 3 takes priority.

(5) Creativity. If I could not create, a part of me would surely die.

(6) Ostentatious Intellectualism. It keeps the plebeians away.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The various nuances of humans. <3 Anthropology.

Also, my mind is always going through different stories and scenarios, so that every time I nap or just sort of doze off, it's like being at a movie! Except, I don't tend to watch movies unless there are zombies or sex acts involved. And even then, it's a definite "or" scenario, unless they're some really hot assed zombies, like the topless stripper zombies from Resident Evil: Apocalypse, only male. And, no eating brains, because that's a turn off for me. Take notes, boys. <3
On a typical Friday night I am
Sleeping.

There was more here, but OKCupid felt that the update button is clearly meant to clear off some arbitrary portion of my profile. Good job.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I usually put out sometime during or before the first date.

Also, I wasn't kidding about publishing that children's book about hookers.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 18–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, casual sex
You should message me if
Wenn du Google Translator liebst.

If you want to get to know me, or just like fun conversations. I'm excellent company. <3

Although, I tend to look at your profile when I deal with you... I like to know more about someone when I interact with them, just a thing I do. And, if anywhere on your profile, you drop a gem like "I like fun", "I like music" or "I like hanging out with my friends", you have very little of my attention. I clearly am against things like fun, music, or hanging out with friends, and it most certainly has nothing to do with stating the obvious. Also, if you advertise your myspace. That site is the gaping and overfucked asshole of the internet. Other dings include AlTeRnAtInG cApS, ALL FUCKING CAPS, any references to 4:20 (it's not the drugs that bother me, it's the retardation), you and are shortened to u and r, referring to yourself as "intellegent," and just stupidity in general that isn't at least funny.

Bonus points for nerding out about the things you like, straight forwardness and unabashed appreciation for oneself, and kindness. I hate arrogance, but everyone should still love themselves for who they are. I'm nowhere near as elitist as I sometimes come off as, I don't just favor the smart and funny and cute. Just don't be someone you aren't, and act like one human being interacting with another. It means a lot to me.

If you are serious about killing hookers, please leave me alone, that was A GODDAMN JOKE AND I EVEN GAVE YOU AN INDICATION OF THAT EARLIER IN THE PROFILE. Even if I refer to it every five minutes. Or, you know, you see me standing over a dead hooker with blood on my hands and such. It's just a joke.