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ElGrumpo

23 Spring, TX Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–24
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 23
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on two-year college
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey, I'm Jon. I'm a dingus. I don't take most things seriously, and that includes myself. People like my fragrance typically.

What can I say? I'm a Houston kid dreaming of a life in Austin. I love overly-sentimental, sissyish fuzzy-feelings and joking about said overly-sentimental, sissyish fuzzy-feelings. Anyone I can sit around and joke with about anything and everything will pretty instantly have me hooked.

I'm typically sorta quiet, but, if I'm really into the conversation, I sometimes end up having issues with volume control. I'm probably not your guy if you're easily-embarrassed. I like to dance. I REALLY like to dance.

And, no! No, I'm absolutely not good at it!

I swear I usually don't try this hard in-person.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Oh, wow. If anyone can figure that out, please let me know. I'll probably be pretty surprised.

Right now, I'm in the middle of two-year college. I'm hoping to someday end up with a degree in Journalism, 'cause I'd really like to make my living as a freelance writer. My goal is to someday be able to charge a higher premium than nachos and cigarettes.

Sometimes, I like to try and animate, but then I remember that I suck at it. I recently started a two-piece music act with one of my best friends. I keep saying we're gonna post our "serious stuff" soon, but I don't really know what that means.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Modesty.

I dunno! Everyone seems to enjoy my writing- poetry or otherwise- and it's always seemed like I'm pretty solid at being a dumb joker with nothing better to do. Folks also seem to appreciate my singing voice pretty well, so I guess there must be something to that.

The only thing I could let myself claim to be unequivocally awesome at is playing the bass. It's pretty mindblowing.

(Okay! So, being legitimately cocky makes me uncomfortable.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"..Who left this wax sculpture of a middle-aged lesbian in direct sunlight?"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(I totally will not blame you if you skip this long-ass part)

Book-wise, I'm not real sure. John Dies at the End is absolutely #1. I also really dug the sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders. Also, the Captain Underpants series. It taught me that there's seriously no limits to how ridiculous you can make things, and was absolutely what got me into writing when I was a kid.

Movies would pretty consistently be comedies. I also like a good horror movie just fine. The list is too big on both of these genres, so it's kinda hard to give examples. I also love a good, classic Eastwood western and have yet to fall out of love with the "quirky indie movie with handwritten title font" genre that seems to be getting less popular these days.

Shows? Oh man. 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, HIMYM (every now and then), The IT Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, Snuff Box, old MadTV and SNL, pretty much all the old Nicktoons and Cartoon Cartoons, practically everything from Williams Street (Space Ghost, The Brak Show, ATHF, Squidbillies, etc.), Adventure Time (though I prefer Regular Show, honestly), and..MAN, I could go on for HOURS. Let's just move along. (Arrested Development. Arrested Development. Arrested Development)

Musically, it goes all around. Instead of sitting and listing a whole bunch of bands to show how totally impressive I am at listening to music, I'll simply say that I'll always be in love with three bands: Primus, Ween and Modest Mouse. I also really dig The Antlers. As for entire genres, post-rock is pretty much guaranteed to get me in a good space. Lately, however, I've been fostering a real love affair with EDM. The only things I really can't stand are the grindcore that seems to be WAY too prevalent in Houston, most country, and some of the more idiotic hip hop (though, some of it manages to be stupid enough to win me over just a bit. Lookin' at you, Li'l B).

Food-wise..pretty much nothing good for me. I know it's bad, and it's definitely something I'm trying to change, but there's just something about a fat, greasy burger that just does it for me. They call to me, you know. In my dreams.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- My boys.
- My netbook that I hate because it's slow and it sucks.
- Malt liquor (preferably Olde English).
- At least one of my instruments.
- The opportunity to sing.
- Dick jokes. For a straight man, I seem to have a very odd fixation with the male crotch.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The way white people is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
With my friends at Denny's. It might sound a bit lame, but it's where we go to stay up all night working on music, drawing, writing and laughing at our own dumb jokes. If you're down, there's always a hot cup of coffee and someone willing to pick you up. If you're out of cigarettes, someone's always there to give you one of theirs.

It might not be crazy and exciting, but it's heaven.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I dunno. This one time, I put my number in some drunk dude's phone under the name "Lance Penetration." Somehow, he thought that was actually my name, and now I honestly wish it was. Does that count? Is that a private thing?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're fluent in Sarcasm.
You like dirty jokes, dad-jokes and everything inbetween.
You like a dude who knows 20 different synonyms for a word even though the original word already does the job just fine.

Or, if you're down with ANY of this: https://soundcloud.com/the-mighty-gill-jackson (the high-pitched dude is me! yayyyyy~)