Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've gotten this far don't expect anything beyond friendship. Any
insight that you see and care to share is encouraged, be it yours
or mine. I've gotten more then one good idea from reading other
If you'd like to trade a massage call me anytime. I have a table
and a hot tub that doesn't get used nearly often enough. My wife's
back problems don't allow her to reciprocate and the commercial
ones just aren't as good as sharing one with a friend.
If your homophobic, pro life conservative, heavy drinker, drug
user, seriously religious, insolvent, racist, radical tree huger,
tea party supporter or looking for a sugar daddy don't waste your
time trying to connect with me.
Getting In Touch (a short essay)
In my early 30s I had sever back pain that a bottle of aspirin a
week wasn't helping very much. A guy at work told me about his
taking a massage workshop. Having read that it could help with back
pain I was interested and went for a 2 weekend workshop. After the
first weekend the pain went away. It was at the home of a couple in
the Santa Cruz mountains. There was a wooden hot tub made from an
old wine barrel wherein we all started. Having frequented the nude
beaches of northern California I was at ease with that and the
owners, Rita and Loren, would demonstrate on each other then we
would pair off and practice. It was wonderfully relaxing and the
relief from pain was fantastic.
A remarkable thing happened at all the workshops, the first meeting
was in the large room furnished only with pillows and everybody was
clothed sitting as far away from anyone else as possible. Rita and
Loren would explain what they would be doing and their philosophy
of how as children we are touched and held without reservation, but
as we mature touching is construed to be threatening thus depriving
us of contact leading to emotional and physical problems. After the
introduction we’d undress and get in the hot tub. Rita and Loren
would demonstrate on each other then we’d pair off and practice. At
the end of the session we’d meet the large room again without
clothes, but now we’d all be sitting as close to each other as we
could get. The transformation was amazing.
I took another workshop and eventually joined the membership
program there. They had a pool next to the tub a lounge and massage
rooms with 2 tables in each room for the members to use. There were
only 2 rules: no sex and take responsibility for yourself.
At that time there were about 100 members which were closely even
men to women. At that time divorce was very common during the
sexual revolution of the 70s and I think that most of us were
seeking an alternative lifestyle because the prior one had failed
to fulfill us. About half the membership was married or coupled.
The premise of GIT was that as children touching was a common
occurrence but as we grew older it was something to be avoided.
Thus the loving and caring was not a commonly shared thing. We did
a lot of hugging and touching. The membership grew to nearly 200
and many people coupled there as the members came and went.
One evening a few of us were relaxing by the fireplace when a
member came in with a friend who had never been naked in public
before. The evening continued with hot tubing and popcorn and the
newbie guest remarked that she was more at ease in a roomful of
naked people then she had been in a bar with everyone fully
clothed. We laughed and her gave a hug. A few times I brought a
female guest that wasn't at all comfortable. That kind of visual
intimacy isn't acceptable to everyone.
A lot of people coupled from meeting there and more then a few
marriages, mine included. The #1 rule was "no sex" but of course
there was but rarely on the premises. The body responds to being
touched and genitals are part of the body. When giving or receiving
a massage I didn't feel it was complete without genitalia being
included. Often this caused sexual arousal for everyone taking
part. What can I say, stuff happens.
Once a month there was a Friday night mini workshop. Everything
from Sufi dancing to dieting, and sex. The ones on sex were always
well attended. On the Friday before Halloween we had the annual
body painting party. Imagine 50 or so naked people with paint and
ink in a crazy quilt, madcap extravaganza of color with an absence
of pattern and inhibitions. Then the group shower...need I say
The only time I saw a guy with an erection was during a sexually
workshop and sometimes during a massage. As I previously said the
body responds to being touched, that was acceptable, just not being
acted upon. A few times when I traded a massage with someone we got
together at home. We even had a name for it 'the zip-less fuck'
meaning no expectations expressed or implied. We did talk about sex
a lot. I attribute much of my sexual edification to these
They bought a larger property during those years. It had a much
larger building but no pool or hot tub. The hot tub was the first
project. It was about 15 feet in diameter. Not long after we had to
see how many people could get in it at the same time, about 70 as I
recall. When we got out there wasn't much water left and we had to
wait for it to fill and heat up. Back to the lodge and the
One summer day the power company came by to work on the pole near
the lodge. Some of the women went over and teased the linemen. What
do you say to a naked lady?
The caretakers had a cat named Killer who was the GIT mascot. He
brought home snakes, birds and rabbits and once a baby skunk
showing his new friend where the food and water were. We just
backed away slowly.
During one massage workshop people paired off to practice and
Popcorn Bob and I were the only two left. I was the first receiver
and Bob started in. He was very un-relaxed and stiff. Obviously it
was not OK for him to touch another man. Then we switched and I
gave him a massage just as I would with anyone. After a break and
another demonstration he and I paired again. This time he was much
more relaxed and I got a great massage. He got the nickname Popcorn
Bob from bringing popcorn up to share. He had an upstairs neighbor
who was recently divorced and having back problems so her brought
up to have a massage. Several years later this woman became my
wife. We sent each other Christmas cards every year since until he
passed away a couple years ago. His widow still sends us annual
shout outs. I miss him greatly.
They taught several types and levels of massage, Esalen, Trager and
Shiatsu, etc. The Certified Massage Therapist program was very
active with many folks having successful careers of it.
I miss those magical days. A lot of growth came from it for all of
us. I honestly believe that worldwide peace could be achieved if
the leaders of nations could share a relaxation massage and an
evening by the fire. There's something about leaving your clothing
aside that lowers the barriers to communications. Within that
community there were people who were wealthy and some on welfare.
It didn't matter what kind of car or house you had. We had loving
acceptance of each other. It was kind of like Camelot.