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Elmer280

73 Redwood Valley, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–90
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:43am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Retired
Income
$80,000–$100,000
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
She wouldn't kiss me goodnight on our first date, but didn't go home for 4 nights on our second date on that holiday weekend. 26 years later we're still together. Her cancer has defined our life for the last 11 years and will always do so. Her hips and back restrict our physical activities so we concentrate on what we CAN do. We wonder what's to become of us in the future.

I'm just looking for friends and found some here that I value greatly. I answered some of the match questions in the imaginary persona of being single and gained some enlightenment from them. Socrates said that a life unexamined isn't worth living.

Living in the sticks has it's drawbacks. The neighbors are forever dashing over with a helping hand and there's none of that lovely alone time waiting on the metering lights to allow getting on the freeway. At the same time I'm glad that "town" is only 10 miles away passing fields of California poppies and purple lupine. The display looks like amethyst and amber festooning the emerald green hills. The mid-summer blackberries glisten like black onyx. It's like living in a Tiffany's jewelry store.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Being retired from the electronics industry allows me time to go fishing for a few days at a time. The spring is very busy with getting the garden ready for planting. I have a lot of time on my hands and not enough hands to do all that I'd like. The occasional afternoon nap is part of my exercise program.

Over the last seven years we've fostered over 50 kittens from the animal shelter. It's a lots of fun, a bit of work and sometimes heartbreaking, but I feel privileged to be permitted to do it. The hard part is taking them back. The 5 adult kitties in our home are not spoiled, they're spoiled rotten, there's a difference. We have no family and to some extent they fill that void. If you eat yogurt or ice cream on the couch, you'll have to share with them, that's just the way life is.

Being a S.F. Giants baseball fan I'll be glued to the tube for most of the games this year.

Though I'm not qualified to do so I'd like to be an advice columnist. That and my ego's a bit larger then my intellect. One of my posts on Dear Wendy was selected as comment of the week which made me very proud.

My wife recently retired and we have long list of places to visit.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Procrastinating, not lazy but I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm of my youth. My desk and work bench are both a mess. The rest of the house is fairly neat.

Cooking, as I do lots of it at home, going out is a welcome treat. I wish that there were more good restaurants here.

Giving a great massage having taken a few workshops way back when. A short essay at the bottom of this profile explains more about that.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Other then my pot gut (ugh) most encounters will be in a hardware store or coffee shop reading a newspaper while having my daily latte wearing dirt stained jeans and sweat soaked hat from working in the garden or other home project.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: science fiction for it's prediction of the changes that technology makes on society and biographies which put a face and personalty on history. Other odds and ends just for entertainment alone.

Movies: Dances with Wolfs, Field of Dreams, Enemy Mine, Star Wars, Sound of Music, South Pacific, Mr. Holland's Opus, Forget Paris, Men in Black.

Music: folk, classical, show tunes.

Any kind food as long as it has good flavor and not too spicy hot.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good coffee
Reading
Friends
Cats
Internet access
A view of the mountains.

There are lots of things that you couldn't do without and only a few things in life that you'll never get over.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where to go on the next vacation. That's a responsibility that I take very seriously. My primary interest is being in nature, architecture is interesting but after a few castles and cathedrals my interest wanes. Nature on the other hand is never boring. The same location changes every day with different weather, plants and animals. I love the seasonal changes of colors thus repeat visits to the same locals are like new places.

A great vacation takes great planning. The very idea of vacation is to un-stress your life even if for a short period of time. A good travel agent can do this for you, but I enjoy the process of doing it. Finding a bargain is appealing, but requires closer scrutiny. You usually don't get what you don't pay for. I'll spend the dime and tighten up the budget when I get home.

We did a 2010 Christmas & New Years cruise through the Panama Canal adding 4 countries visited. I want to visit the upper Amazon River and fish for piranha and other oddities.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching the ballgame with the TV muted while listening to an opera, snacking on caviar and cream cheese while sipping champagne.

I've never actually done that but if you have a better idea I'm open to suggestion.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd like to visit Cape d'Adge, the nudist town in France after a few days in Paris of course.

My wife's breast cancer has been in her lymph system since 2003. Her estrogen suppressant injections keep tumors from growing but the side effects are problematic.

I dislike shopping and don't dance.

Sometimes I'm charming and witty other times I'm grumpy and occasionally a pain in the ass. Most of the time I'm mellow and cheerful.

The bottom line in this section is that there isn't anything I'm not willing to share outside of what I know about other people that they may want to be kept confidential. There are a number of things I'm not proud of, same as most I reckon.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've gotten this far don't expect anything beyond friendship. Any insight that you see and care to share is encouraged, be it yours or mine. I've gotten more then one good idea from reading other peoples profiles.

If you'd like to trade a massage call me anytime. I have a table and a hot tub that doesn't get used nearly often enough. My wife's back problems don't allow her to reciprocate and the commercial ones just aren't as good as sharing one with a friend.

If your homophobic, pro life conservative, heavy drinker, drug user, seriously religious, insolvent, racist, radical tree huger, tea party supporter or looking for a sugar daddy don't waste your time trying to connect with me.

Getting In Touch (a short essay)

In my early 30s I had sever back pain that a bottle of aspirin a week wasn't helping very much. A guy at work told me about his taking a massage workshop. Having read that it could help with back pain I was interested and went for a 2 weekend workshop. After the first weekend the pain went away. It was at the home of a couple in the Santa Cruz mountains. There was a wooden hot tub made from an old wine barrel wherein we all started. Having frequented the nude beaches of northern California I was at ease with that and the owners, Rita and Loren, would demonstrate on each other then we would pair off and practice. It was wonderfully relaxing and the relief from pain was fantastic.

A remarkable thing happened at all the workshops, the first meeting was in the large room furnished only with pillows and everybody was clothed sitting as far away from anyone else as possible. Rita and Loren would explain what they would be doing and their philosophy of how as children we are touched and held without reservation, but as we mature touching is construed to be threatening thus depriving us of contact leading to emotional and physical problems. After the introduction we’d undress and get in the hot tub. Rita and Loren would demonstrate on each other then we’d pair off and practice. At the end of the session we’d meet the large room again without clothes, but now we’d all be sitting as close to each other as we could get. The transformation was amazing.

I took another workshop and eventually joined the membership program there. They had a pool next to the tub a lounge and massage rooms with 2 tables in each room for the members to use. There were only 2 rules: no sex and take responsibility for yourself.

At that time there were about 100 members which were closely even men to women. At that time divorce was very common during the sexual revolution of the 70s and I think that most of us were seeking an alternative lifestyle because the prior one had failed to fulfill us. About half the membership was married or coupled. The premise of GIT was that as children touching was a common occurrence but as we grew older it was something to be avoided. Thus the loving and caring was not a commonly shared thing. We did a lot of hugging and touching. The membership grew to nearly 200 and many people coupled there as the members came and went.

One evening a few of us were relaxing by the fireplace when a member came in with a friend who had never been naked in public before. The evening continued with hot tubing and popcorn and the newbie guest remarked that she was more at ease in a roomful of naked people then she had been in a bar with everyone fully clothed. We laughed and her gave a hug. A few times I brought a female guest that wasn't at all comfortable. That kind of visual intimacy isn't acceptable to everyone.

A lot of people coupled from meeting there and more then a few marriages, mine included. The #1 rule was "no sex" but of course there was but rarely on the premises. The body responds to being touched and genitals are part of the body. When giving or receiving a massage I didn't feel it was complete without genitalia being included. Often this caused sexual arousal for everyone taking part. What can I say, stuff happens.

Once a month there was a Friday night mini workshop. Everything from Sufi dancing to dieting, and sex. The ones on sex were always well attended. On the Friday before Halloween we had the annual body painting party. Imagine 50 or so naked people with paint and ink in a crazy quilt, madcap extravaganza of color with an absence of pattern and inhibitions. Then the group shower...need I say more?

The only time I saw a guy with an erection was during a sexually workshop and sometimes during a massage. As I previously said the body responds to being touched, that was acceptable, just not being acted upon. A few times when I traded a massage with someone we got together at home. We even had a name for it 'the zip-less fuck' meaning no expectations expressed or implied. We did talk about sex a lot. I attribute much of my sexual edification to these discussions.

They bought a larger property during those years. It had a much larger building but no pool or hot tub. The hot tub was the first project. It was about 15 feet in diameter. Not long after we had to see how many people could get in it at the same time, about 70 as I recall. When we got out there wasn't much water left and we had to wait for it to fill and heat up. Back to the lodge and the fireplace!

One summer day the power company came by to work on the pole near the lodge. Some of the women went over and teased the linemen. What do you say to a naked lady?

The caretakers had a cat named Killer who was the GIT mascot. He brought home snakes, birds and rabbits and once a baby skunk showing his new friend where the food and water were. We just backed away slowly.

During one massage workshop people paired off to practice and Popcorn Bob and I were the only two left. I was the first receiver and Bob started in. He was very un-relaxed and stiff. Obviously it was not OK for him to touch another man. Then we switched and I gave him a massage just as I would with anyone. After a break and another demonstration he and I paired again. This time he was much more relaxed and I got a great massage. He got the nickname Popcorn Bob from bringing popcorn up to share. He had an upstairs neighbor who was recently divorced and having back problems so her brought up to have a massage. Several years later this woman became my wife. We sent each other Christmas cards every year since until he passed away a couple years ago. His widow still sends us annual shout outs. I miss him greatly.

They taught several types and levels of massage, Esalen, Trager and Shiatsu, etc. The Certified Massage Therapist program was very active with many folks having successful careers of it.

I miss those magical days. A lot of growth came from it for all of us. I honestly believe that worldwide peace could be achieved if the leaders of nations could share a relaxation massage and an evening by the fire. There's something about leaving your clothing aside that lowers the barriers to communications. Within that community there were people who were wealthy and some on welfare. It didn't matter what kind of car or house you had. We had loving acceptance of each other. It was kind of like Camelot.