This quote unequivocally exemplifies my feelings and perspective on life: “When an intelligent man expresses a view which seems to us obviously absurd, we should not attempt to prove that it is somehow true, but we should try and understand how it ever came to seem true.”
Sept 30th. I'm deleting my self summary and rewriting.
Now, this is may appear like a rant or shameless narcissism, and for that I apologize, but I have had a kind of change of mindset, and want to just write, as simply as I can, what makes me me. And for the record, I honestly always try to speak the truth.
So, in no particular order:
I say this attempted humility, and restrained vanity. I have been told, at different times, that I have been either the most difficult, or unusual, or interesting, or honest, or eclectic, or intelligent person someone has ever met. I like to talk about meaningful things. I can make all sorts of breakfast eggs better than anyone you know. I read a lot. I like "nice" things. I am a realist but I love to dream. I hate it when people refuse to accept logic. I hate when people get angry just because they can't figure something out. I love pretty faces. I like "cute" things. I am attracted to curvy bodies. I'd take a nice face over a nice body any day of the week. I like connecting to people, especially on an emotional level. I like to be silly when I am close to someone. I cry during a lot of movies. Seeing someone else truly upset makes me extremely sad. I like to shoot guns. I own a muscle car. I like to drive fast. I'm fairly skinny. I practically have a fetish for "cool sounds". I abhor banal television and entertainment. I enjoy well filmed and well scripted movies. I know all the characters on Sex and the City. I can pick out good clothes and colours for you. I know how to dress. I hate when people don't understand the logic of faith and belief yet claim to be devout. I can quote the bible. I appreciate deep spirituality. I can tell you creation stories from a dozen different religions and cultures. I can explain the basics of theoretical quantum physics. I can somewhat explain string theory. I like "feeling cool". I like candles and moonlit darkness. The feeling of autumn makes me nostalgic. I can make bitchin' penne ala vodka. I like to drink gin, not beer. I smoke cigarettes, and enjoy it. I get upset when people don't call me back. I think many people are misguided. I can be arrogant at times. I like helping people.
I'm looking for my Catherine Banning. I would prefer to have a partner who's up front (enough) about what they want. I like giving surprise gifts. I want a someone who cares about me and my feelings. I want to connect with a girl and want to take care of her. I want a girl who can act like a women. Someone who is sophisticated but knows how to let loose and be sexy.
People who are self conscious or self deprecating upset me. I was a Boy Scout. I can fix mostly any normal computer. I read to learn more about esoteric and seemingly useless things. I understand music well. I like intricate musical arrangements. Music can make me cry. I've driven across country alone. I play musical instruments. I've been cheated on more times than you can imagine. I get jealous when a person becomes guarded. It would be nice to have someone depend on me. I am too intense for some people. I can have a furious verbal vengeance. I can't say something I dont really mean/feel. Many people come to me with their problems. Many people enjoy what I have to say, and many don't. Some people find me threatening. I try to never be mean to anyone unless they hurt me. I wish people talked more. Compliments flatter me. I wish more people used their imagination.
I could go on, but hopefully what i wrote isn't too much and doesn't appear ridiculous or self serving. I just wanted to try something different. If you made it this far you should let me know what you think, good or bad. I'm genuinely curious.
"Find friends who love the truth.
Drink deeply. Live in serenity and joy"