30 Oakland, CA
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My self-summary
Very important: I am in a committed relationship with Ben_Jamie and we are in this non-monogamy thang together. If that's cool with you, read on and see if you think we'd click. (Also, check out his profile--he's pretty wonderful.) Further, we are most likely just interested in connecting with other couples or ladies at this point (trans folks welcome also), though may expand in the future. We are more monogamish (thanks Dan Savage) than poly, but are very communicative and dedicated to treating any partners with respect and kindness.

About me: I love life stories and getting to know what makes people unique. Long conversations about life, personal histories, and passions drive me. I'm empathetic and pretty darn open about myself (I will answer any question honestly or at least tell you why I can't answer it)--I try to elicit the same from others. I'm still not sure how I fit into the whole save the world thing but I'm working on it. I like laughing, tiger lilies, reading, puns (I really like puns), cats, brunch, people who bike with helmets, sunshine, beards, rain on car roofs, talking about feelings, and a whole bunch of other things. I share well and am excited and interested by the world.

I'm an East coast girl (Philadelphia) but I've been living in the Bay Area for 8 years. Though I miss the seasons and my family, I like being somewhere where I can go hiking any time of the year and where most people are pretty sex positive. While it has its drawbacks, I do like the liberal bubble.

If you're a Meyers-Briggs fan (which I'm not, especially), I'm an ENFP. Also, the religion box doesn't allow multiple options, so to clarify: I'm religiously atheist, culturally Jewish, and philosophically Quaker.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently: loving life, my friends, and my family. Also, as previously mentioned, I'm trying to figure out how to make the world better. Right now, that involves working in healthcare in a community clinic to empower people to make positive decisions. Historically, I've done lots of work in the reproductive health world and also provided healthcare for homeless folks.
I’m really good at
Helping people articulate their feelings in emails (I wish I could make a job out of helping people write important emotional emails)--I'm also good at articulating my own feelings.
Cooking red lentil soup.
Milking cows.
Contra dancing.
Learning new board games.
Knitting hats.
Encouraging my friends to be sexually adventurous.
Nitpicking lice infested hair (all those summers as a camp counselor).
Scuba diving.
Staying in touch with those I love.
Making banana pancakes.
Using parenthesis to add additional information into a sentence.
Being honest.
Playing with kids.
Answering teens' questions about sex, birth control, and STIs.
Making origami cranes.
The first things people usually notice about me
My kick-ass active listening skills (lots of mm-hmms, eye contact, and head nodding).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: A Suitable Boy (and everything else by Vikram Seth), Jonathan Franzen's stuff, John Irving's work (especially Cider House Rules), Summer Sisters, Alanna quartet, The Fault in Our Stars, The Princess Bride, Haussman or the Distinction, God of Small Things, Anne of Green Gables, Anne of the Island, The Twilight series (it's a guilty pleasure), Lust and Other Stories, Rise Up Singing, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Handmaid's Tale.
On a side note, I love love looking at other people's bookshelves. A book collection can provide fascinating insight (this is part of why I don't like the rise of the Kindle).

Movies: Away We Go, Little Women, 10 Things I Hate About You, Cruel Intentions, Secretary, Sexo con amor, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Center Stage, Laurel Canyon, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Dangerous Beauty, All the Real Girls, Teeth
(Though most of my favorite movies are rather trashy, most of the ones that I actually see and enjoy are much higher class--they're just not the ones I watch over and over)

TV: Mad Men, Friday Night Lights, House of Cards, Downton Abbey, Nashville, Velvet.

Music: Dar Wlliams, Vienna Teng, Feist, Jen Hamel, Damien Rice, Kate Rusby, Rhett Miller, Ben Folds, Iron & Wine, Nickel Creek, Ani Difranco, Joshua Radin, The Weepies, Indigo Girls, Blue Turtle Seduction, Ferron, Liz Phair (old stuff), most musicals, classical, and Disney

Food: vegetarian, eggplant anything, dessert with chocolate
The six things I could never do without
1. Cell phone (communication with all those I love and now that I have a smart phone, also streaming npr, democracynow, pandora, and reading literotica)
2. Library card and a current book.
3. Rise Up Singing (the best compilation of folk song lyrics and chords)
4. Airplanes (talking on the phone is great but seeing people is even better)
5. 9 X 13" pan (brownies, baked tofu, eggplant parmesan are staples)
6.My polar-fleece, baby blue onsie complete with butt flap and feetsies. Kept me warm during those freezing east coast nights, still keeping me warm these foggy Bay Area nights.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Relationships of all kinds. Random political happenings. Social justice. Privilege and its many impacts on my life. What I have to do over the next week. How I would like to have another cat. Food.
On a typical Friday night I am
Variable. Usually I like a calm night--staying in, watching a movie, eating good food, and having quality conversations with friends--but sometimes I'm out at an interesting (preferably cheap) event.
On my favorite Friday night, I would be at a sing-along at the Castro.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Privacy is a funny concept to me. I'm pretty darn open and don't really have secrets--just ask what you want to know. That being said, I think kink/BDSM is cool.

Also, my name isn't Lily--that's just my favorite flower.
You should message me if
All of the following are true (and please feel free to address them in your message):

A) You are part of a couple looking to date as a couple or a single cis-woman looking to date a couple (gender-variant folks who are in a couple or single also welcome). Not open to single cis-men at this time.

B) You have interesting things to say/thoughtful questions that
aren't about my body/appearance.

C)You use reasonably correct grammar and full sentences.

D) You live in or very near the East Bay.

E) You are comfortable calling yourself a feminist.

F) You have some BDSM experience or are excited about it.

I am much more likely to respond to a longer message that shows you actually read my profile.