Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello the internet! I'm a human type person. I'm big on making
people I care about laugh and I love to tell stories. I answer quiz
questions on here compulsively, and I do it rapidly without
thinking about it too much. Depending on my mood when I do it, the
answers can wobble a bit. So, uh, I guess ask me for clarification
if something seems weird in there.
I live with a bunch of friends out in the wonderful land of Amherst
and enjoy all sorts of awesome stuff. As long as your definition of
awesome involved games, movies, and books. Otherwise not much
awesome at all, I guess. Although I do sometimes wander out into
the wild, for walks in the woods and the occasional fishing
I'm a predominately nocturnal creature, owing to some sleep
disorders, so you can often find me in the wee hours being bitter
about the notion of "business hours."
I have a Steam library that is uncomfortably large for someone as
broke as myself. If you are a Steam user, feel free to send me a
message on that platform of addiction.
Those other sections below will provide additional facts about me,
so I'll stop rambling here.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Sometimes I am sculpting, molding, and casting. Creating strange
idols to Lovecraftian gods and other things with wiggly bits. I do
special effects make-up to make people into monsters or bloody
chunks whenever I get the chance.
I also design, mostly for a local screen printer, but I can't draw
to save my life, so I am a bit limited in this field, but it hasn't
stopped me so far.
Thanks to being stuck in reality, I also sit behind a desk
sometimes and generate money by virtue of occupying that space. It
is a very exciting job, tending a desk and being sure that everyone
who walks into the building belongs there, but it also lets me do
OTHER work while I do it. It means I get paid to get paid!
I'm also poking around at teaching myself to make games, because
why not? So far this has resulted in a dating simulation where you,
as Thomas Wheeler, have to date Obama to secure your position as
Most of these pursuits are geared towards eventually going to grad
school, that way I can waste money on that and be a directionless
person with a masters!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I tell stories, many of them as legally incriminating as they are
amusing, and I can riff a movie pretty good. Making people I care
about laugh makes me feels nice, and people tell me I do it well.
Even better is if they choke on their water in a non-fatal way,
because that is hilarious.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have been told, on occasion, that I have a somewhat distinctive
manner of moving. I tend to wobble and drift around, like I can't
quite balance, which is funny since I almost always stand on one
foot when I'm still. I like to think I'm just keeping myself off
guard that way I can eventually fall and forget to hit the ground.
Thus achieving flight.
They may also notice that I am not on fire and also wearing
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
When it comes to books I am drawn by weird, strange, and alien
worlds. Some authors who do this well are: China Meiville, Jeff
VanderMeer, Jedediah Berry, Mark Z. Danielewski, Neal Stephenson,
and of course H.P. Lovecraft. If I had to choose a few books by
this lot, it would be Perdido Street Station, Kraken, City of
Saints and Madmen, The Manual of Detection, and Anathem.
I watch SO MANY MOVIES, so this is tricky. Lets just say my tastes
range from movies as bad as Troll 2 and all the way up to what I
think of as incredible moves like The Fall and In Bruges. I love
watching Rifftrax, and I think everyone should see Rubber at least
once. Seriously, a killer tire in an absurd meta plot about movies?
Must be seen. As for TV, similar standards, but with a massive lean
toward cartoons. Cartoons like: Regular Show, The Amazing World of
Gumball, The Misadventures of Flapjack, and Adventure time. Also I
watch far too much anime.
I like to keep my music library varied in both genre and region, so
I drift around a lot sonically. Instrumental, metal, progressive,
trance, drum and bass, and so much more from around the
As for food, I love to try new things and keep an altar to Alton
Brown in my kitchen. I range from fancy to totally delicious in a
bad for you kind of way.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My friends.
2. My family. While utterly insane and fucked up in a delightful
number of ways, they are still a support structure and dearly loved
4. Movies. TV as well, you know, moving pictures.
5. Games. This covers computer, video, board, card, and role
6. My backpack, I keep almost everything in there I need to survive
or keep myself entertained. Including marbles for floor traps.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If a teleporter obliterates your atoms and reassembles another set
of atoms exactly the same somewhere else, did you die? Do you care,
if on an atomic level, you are the same right down to the
I also, of course, day dream endlessly about having magic powers
and going on incredible inter-dimensional adventures. Who doesn't
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Generally I am playing games or watching movies with friends.
Otherwise I am just enjoying some quiet time to myself by...
playing a game or watching a movie. I have a bit of a theme
I could also be taking a walk or reading a book, gotta switch
things up sometimes.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have never seen The Godfather. I know. It's a horrible truth.
You should message me if
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here! Or know some terrible secret truth! The normal reasons.
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