(4/27 update: Finally finished up my master's and moved back to Tampa!)

My great loves are philosophy, science, live jazz, slam poetry, satire, Kant and Socrates, video game RPGs, Magic: the Gathering, and a well-reasoned argument.

I have a chapbook of my satirical writing entitled I AM GABE'S IMPOTENT MORAL OUTRAGE. Available upon request.

I once organized a protest against Wal-Mart, but not for the reasons you'd think.

I am painfully unmaterialistic.

I hate the term secular humanism because it implies that there are major or important branches of secular people who are not humanist.

The unexpected hanging paradox might be my favorite thing in the world.

Nothing scares me more than the second law of thermodynamics.

I really enjoy feeding ducks.

1) get degree in philosophy and mathematics from University of South Florida (CHECK!)
2) get a master's degree in philosophy from Georgia State University (CHECK! Just finished as of 4/27, hallelujah)
3) apply to every open philosophy professor position in the country
4) realize every philosophy professor position in the country is already taken, become an autonomous from-home investor in either penny stocks or Magic cards instead (IN PROGRESS)
[Alternate 4) murder a philosophy professor]
5) turn 35, run for president, and through the power of the internet, win and SAVE THE WORLD!
[Alternate 5) be executed for murder]

Update: I have decided to not get executed, and instead I am working on my certification to teach high school math. I am going to be hired in the fall. I am actually really excited about it. I realized the problem with all math instruction in this country and how to fix it.

Day-trading. Seeing humor and/or stark political commentary in anything and everything. Did you know The Last Unicorn was a scathing indictment of communist Russia?

My eyes. I know this is a very common and uninteresting one, but I get it from so many people, strangers or not, regardless of age or sex, that I feel like it deserves mention anyway.
That my hair is (usually) long and curly and that people strolling by ask me if they can touch it.

Books/authors: Vonnegut (particularly Cat's Cradle and Sires from Titan), Nabokov (particularly Lolita and Pale Fire), Plato (particularly The Apology/Crito/Phaedo), Dostoevsky (particularly Crime and Punishment and Notes from Underground), Philp K. Dick (particularly Eye in the Sky), We, Catch-22, 1984, Through the Looking Glass, The Blind Watchmaker, Ender's Game, Letters from the Earth, The Little Prince, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the first three), A Tale of Two Cities, No One Belongs Here More Than You, Pillars of the Earth, the first four books in the Dark Tower series, the Sword of Fire and Ice series, LOTR
I've also been getting into non-fiction lately, things like The Big Short, Guns Germs and Steel, and Debt: The First 5000 Years.

Movies Network, Synecdoche New York, The Machinist, Fight Club, The Prestige, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Harrison Bergeron, Dr. Strangelove, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Liar Liar, Clerks, Hero, Snatch, Thank You For Smoking, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Tropic Thunder, The Avengers

Music: Blind Guardian, Opeth, Pink Floyd, Genesis (up to 1976), Jethro Tull, Queen, The Dresden Dolls, Aesop Rock, Busdriver, Marilyn Manson, Iced Earth, Metallica, Dream Theater, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Theocracy, System of a Down, Leaves Eyes, Smashing Pumpkins, Saul Williams, The Tangent, A Perfect Circle, Therion, Liquid Tension Experiment, Tom Waits, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, various other post-rock bands that I can't actually tell apart but love anyway.

I can't fucking stand dubstep. I truly do not understand the enjoyment. It sounds like someone took a perfectly good song and gave it a seizure.

Food: I love yogurt mixed with fruit and granola and eat it every day.

Television (ongoing shows): Game of Thrones, Dexter, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, Community, 30 Rock, South Park, How I Met Your Mother, Archer, everything Joss Whedon has ever done

Video games: Final Fantasies IV, VI, VII, IX, XII, and Tactics, Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, Dark Cloud II, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Super Mario RPG, Ogre Battle, Sacrifice

I enjoy being alive for its own sake so I could do without pretty much anything. Physical closeness and my computer would definitely be the things I'd prefer to not live without.

politics, the human race, and the mutual annihilation they're going to bring.

memory and the passage of time and my obsession with them both

Magic: the Gathering

At a coffee shop downtown, at open mic slam poetry. Except this happens on Thursdays. My Fridays are open.

I unironically enjoy the Backstreet Boys and voted for Kucinich.

I've used Glide pro health floss, and now I can't go back to those flossing sticks.

you're brilliant, passionate, and think you're the coolest fucking person on the planet and that any guy would be lucky to have met you.

Also, if you're turned on by Irish accents. Inquire within for details.

P.S., gay guys, I am not interested myself, but you should message my best friend Outworld_Outcast