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27 Tampa, FL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
May 13
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Open relationship
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t want kids
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My great loves are live jazz, slam poetry, satire, Kant and Socrates. games of all kinds, philosophy, science and math, and a well-reasoned argument.

I have a chapbook of my satirical writing entitled I AM GABE'S IMPOTENT MORAL OUTRAGE. Available upon request.

I once organized a protest against Wal-Mart, but not for the reasons you'd think.

I am painfully unmaterialistic.

I hate the term secular humanism because it implies that there are major or important branches of secular people who are not humanist.

The unexpected hanging paradox might be my favorite thing in the world.

Nothing scares me more than the second law of thermodynamics.

I am a high school math teacher, biding my time until I can save up enough money to build a house off the grid. Not because I think an apocalypse is coming or anything, but just so I can stop working and play video games all day.

I am in an open relationship with a wonderful woman.

I really enjoy feeding ducks.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
1) get degree in philosophy and mathematics from University of South Florida (CHECK!)
2) get a master's degree in philosophy from Georgia State University (CHECK!)
3) apply to every open philosophy professor position in the country (CHECK!)
4) realize every philosophy professor position in the country is already taken, become an autonomous from-home investor in either penny stocks or Magic cards instead. (CHECK!)
5) turn 35, run for president, and through the power of the internet, win and SAVE THE WORLD!
Alternate 5 Become a high school math teacher. (CHECK!)
6) Build an earthship off the grid somewhere on the east coast and live off of chickens, goats, and whatever comes out of the greenhouse. (IN PROGRESS)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Games. Seeing humor and/or stark political commentary in anything and everything. Did you know The Last Unicorn was a scathing indictment of communist Russia?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes. I know this is a very common and uninteresting one, but I get it from so many people, strangers or not, regardless of age or sex, that I feel like it deserves mention anyway.
That my hair is (usually) long and curly and that people strolling by ask me if they can touch it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books/authors: Vonnegut (particularly Cat's Cradle and Sires from Titan), Nabokov (particularly Lolita and Pale Fire), Plato (particularly The Apology/Crito/Phaedo), Dostoevsky (particularly Crime and Punishment and Notes from Underground), Philp K. Dick (particularly Eye in the Sky), We, Catch-22, 1984, Through the Looking Glass, The Blind Watchmaker, Ender's Game, Letters from the Earth, The Little Prince, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the first three), A Tale of Two Cities, No One Belongs Here More Than You, Pillars of the Earth, the first four books in the Dark Tower series, the Sword of Fire and Ice series, LOTR
I've also been getting into non-fiction lately, things like The Big Short, Guns Germs and Steel, and Debt: The First 5000 Years.

Movies Network, Synecdoche New York, The Machinist, Fight Club, The Prestige, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Harrison Bergeron, Dr. Strangelove, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Liar Liar, Clerks, Hero, Snatch, Thank You For Smoking, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Tropic Thunder, The Avengers

Music: Blind Guardian, Opeth, Pink Floyd, Genesis (up to 1976), Jethro Tull, Queen, The Dresden Dolls, Aesop Rock, Busdriver, Marilyn Manson, Iced Earth, Metallica, Dream Theater, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Theocracy, System of a Down, Leaves Eyes, Smashing Pumpkins, Saul Williams, The Tangent, A Perfect Circle, Therion, Liquid Tension Experiment, Tom Waits, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, various other post-rock bands that I can't actually tell apart but love anyway.

I can't fucking stand dubstep. I truly do not understand the enjoyment. It sounds like someone took a perfectly good song and gave it a seizure.

Food: I love yogurt mixed with fruit and granola and eat it every day.

Television (ongoing shows): Game of Thrones, Dexter, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, Community, 30 Rock, South Park, How I Met Your Mother, Archer, everything Joss Whedon has ever done

Video games: Final Fantasies IV, VI, VII, IX, XII, and Tactics, Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, Dark Cloud II, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Super Mario RPG, Ogre Battle, Sacrifice
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I enjoy being alive for its own sake so I could do without pretty much anything. Physical closeness and my computer would definitely be the things I'd prefer to not live without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
politics, the human race, and the mutual annihilation they're going to bring.

memory and the passage of time and my obsession with them both
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing some kind of game. D&D, video game, board game, card game, really any kind of game. Or possibly rock climbing, except that Friday is usually very crowded.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I unironically enjoy the Backstreet Boys and voted for Kucinich.

I've used Glide pro health floss, and now I can't go back to those flossing sticks.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're brilliant, passionate, and think you're the coolest fucking person on the planet and that any guy would be lucky to have met you.

Also, if you're turned on by Irish accents. Inquire within for details.

P.S., gay guys, I am not interested myself, but you should message my best friend Outworld_Outcast