I'm insecure enough to be dating online, but I will still try to
make myself sound awesome. I'm a real go-getter, in that I live in
my mom's basement in Lake Oswego, and when I need money I
go-getter. I listed my address as Portland even though I live in
Lake O because I hate all the girls in Lake Oswego, they're all
cunts and bitches. But I guess what I'm saying is, I'm a feminist.
What I’m doing with my life
Skyrim, freelancing, looking for a girlfriend on the internet the
way I look for gold in Skyrim: unendingly.
I’m really good at
Skyrim, Call of Duty, taking my kids to school late, copying your
favorite book's name into a message I send you and pretending to
care what it's about.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall and muscular with great hair and a nice body and muscles.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Skyrim: Official Player's Guide
Anything with an explosion or Megan Fox.
I watch TV religiously. No, I mean I actually killed my dog as a
sacrifice to the TV. He kept whimpering at the door, begging to go
outside, and I was like "fuck you, Lil' Bow Wow, I'm walking my dog
in Skyrim." And then Lil' Bow Wow exploded. If you come over to my
mom's basement you can help me clean up, it's mostly dry now.
I like Linkin Park (early stuff) and Tool (later stuff) and I
absolutely can not stand black people music.
I just discovered Top Ramen can be made with other seasonings
besides the included seasoning packet. I've been combining
seasoning packets from different brands. I'm a pretty inventive
The six things I could never do without
Whiskey, beer, my two little girls Skyrim and Reddit (they count as
one), bong rips, my GED, your phone number *eyebrows raised*
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whichever picture you have posted that reveals the most skin.
On a typical Friday night I am
Stuck with my kids. But you can come over, pick up Lil' Bow Wow,
and watch me starve my children while I play Skyrim.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a gay friend.
You should message me if
You realize what a catch I am.