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45 M Zionsville, IN

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Has kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), Chinese (Poorly), LISP (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Maintaining a conservative facade. Need to find the fun, flirty, and affectionate me that I have been missing for so long. I desire to have closeness, affection and friendship that would entail.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” -Anaïs Nin

Slowly trying to get my home in order. It is sorely lacking in bookshelves. Seems I spend most time picking up after kids and putting my couch back together after it suddenly becomes a cushion fort now and again.

What I think I desire is meaningful friendships that make me feel anchored. I love affection and deeper intellectual and philosophical connections but not on a studious rarefied level. I like being there for others and knowing they would be there for me.
What I’m doing with my life
Keeping a steady course. Focusing on my kids and their quickly changing lives. I love my work but need to get my social life back in order. Reconnecting with friends and spending time with them around my kids activities. Looking to make more friends and see what develops.

A quote from a book summary ; )
"Boldly and fiercely, Dr. A. advances the cause of the over-forty male... the old man who knows how. It is the old man that ripens like a rich tobacco, ages like a rare wine, mellows with the fine patina of an ancient work of art." ...
--The Sensuous Dirty Old Man By Dr. "A" c. 1971
Dr. "A" is actually Isaac Asimov. Funny parody of The Sensuous Woman by "J" and The Sensuous Man by "M".
I’m really good at
Finding books I will want to read in my lifetime.
The first things people usually notice about me
Deep voice? Blue eyes? Laugh? The soft silvery hair? The furry arms? I have been told I have a caretaker spirit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm a biblioholic. Currently have more books than I will be able to read in my lifetime. I love to poke through books. Currently back on a Sci-fi kick. I have quite a collection on authors who had books banned in the past that I like or find interesting: DH Lawrence, Henry Miller, de Sade, Anais Nin, Nabokov... Math, History (Roman, Greek, French Revolution, Samurai culture), Engineering topics, submarines, sexuality and erotica.

Currently Reading: 61 Days by Child; Broken Angels by Morgan

Looking on my bookshelf lately: A Terrible Love of War by Hillman; Dogs in the Vineyard by Baker; Man of Steel & Velvet by Andelin; Strategy & Tactics of War ed by Fowler.

Note: I do not expect you to care about my tastes in book collecting or reading. Just be able to put up with it. You can playfully roll your eyes and sigh while walking around with me in the bookstore and I will just keep grinning like a kid in the candy store.

Discovering and finding good anime: Studio Ghibli films, Ghost in the Shell, Read or Die. Taste runs to Terry Gilliam films (Time Bandits, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys, Brazil, etc.). Chinese and Japanese films. Movies linked to submarine service. Recent TV watching included Dexter and Breaking Bad. Was getting into Californication before it dropped off NetFlix. A friend is introducing me to Game of Thrones. I am always late to the party with TV shows...

Music-wise I tend to like the old ballads from Steve Miller and Tom Petty. Huey Lewis and the News and Beat Farmers are some others that get my interest. OK Go! and Renegade Legion techno. Tim Minchin. I like quite a bit of new stuff I hear in the Heavy Rock genre but do not go out tracking it down. Not so guilty pleasure is Nickelback.

I like spicy food. Like to cook and have quite a few favorite dishes. Fall backs are medium rare steaks and stews with baked crispy asparagus or chicken & eggplant stir fry. I have a specialty dish that no one else makes called BS Beef and Onions. I like to have people guess what the BS stands for after I make it for them.
The six things I could never do without
Book stores, mostly Half Price Books.
Being with my kids.
A positive outlook on life.
Time and freedom to share in others company/socialize.
Good loyal friends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to get friends to play sci fi war games. Weird huh? Grooming my kids to enjoy my favorite games.

I am currently involved with a polyamorous woman that has me re-evaluating my relationship scripts. Seeing poly in a profile used to be a quick peruse and move on. Logically the poly mindset rings well. Not because of sex but more about the freedom to connect with other people without worrying about unspoken commitments. We spend our time agonizing about finding "the one" that is everything to us that we destroy what could be great relationships right there before us. Ones that would meet our needs of friendship and affection. Instead we sabotage them for feelings of worry about the grass possibly being greener somewhere else. Polyamory does have it's issues in practice. If sex is involved there is a whole possible network of people that have to agree to certain rules and risks. It does promote open and frank discussion about safe sex and feelings which is good and what I liked about my experiences in the kink community (see below under the most private thing I am willing to admit). What do you think of the poly mindset and practice?
On a typical Friday night I am
Surfing my usual web haunts or hanging out with my son while his sister is doing gymnastics.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
While in college, I hung out in the BDSM community (Leather bars, kink conventions, etc.). I was taken under the wing of a lady as her Top In Training. Very experiential sensations exploration for me. I would characterize myself as a playful dominate but not lifestyle oriented. I am not looking for a kink relationship but it is part of the possible repertoire of an intimate relationship. Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–52
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
This list should be read with "or" in between each. Not all inclusive:
-You would like to go to Gen Con.
-Would love to watch the old 1950s Cyrano de Bergerac.
-Like sweet wines and getting a little toasty now and then.
-Have a secret desire to invade a solar system, direct huge capital ships into battle, and invade the planet using grav tanks and bounce infantry.
-Think you would like to pet a nerd, to see what it is like. I know, eeeew.