IMPORTANT NOTE: This profile has been optioned by Paramount Studios. Any reproduction of this profile, in whole or in part, is strictly forbidden.

UPDATE: We are happy to announce that Joel Schumacher has agreed to produce the film adaptation of ExileInOC's Profile (working title).

UPDATE: Michael Bay has been attached to direct and Paul Giamatti will be playing the role of the Exile.

I spend most of my time either working at my jobby job, working on LGBT equality or other progressive political activism, or perfecting my escape plan from Orange County. I remember what free time was like, vaguely.

So I am a corporate whore who likes to keep one foot in the activist / political / volunteer realm. But soon I'm going to switch that proportion and become a non-profit entity that keeps one foot in the business realm.

I'm not entirely sure the preceding paragraph makes any sense.

I read a ton (news, novels, and non-fiction), cook a lot, and go hiking / trail running several times a week. I also like to travel and I think I'm pretty good at 'partying'.

coalition-building, active listening, standardized tests, making salads, off-the-cuff smartassery, alternating between lighthearted joking and intense inquiry, dissecting arguments.

I'm also a decent cook, but always trying to get better at that.

I can write pretty well (despite this profile's evidence to the contrary).

I have red hair and I drink a lot of water.

Ahh yes, the ultimate compatibility questions.

The last four books I read were The Name of the Rose (Eco), The Mismeasure of Woman (Tavris), Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez, love me some Marquez), and The Nine (Toobin). All of them were, like, really sooper. I've been reading a lot of non-fiction the past few years, but I'm about to make a big push to get back into some good fiction. If you have any suggestions for high-minded fiction with a good narrative, please let me know. If you suggest the Left Behind series I will defecate on something you value highly.

I love a good movie, but none spring immediately to mind as being indicative of my personality, so pass. I will say that I like Charlie Kauffman, the Coen Brothers, and I'm fairly certian that I would give Philip Seymour Hoffman oral sex if he propositioned me.

I love music but I don't really have the time to get deeply into it, so I've outsourced the finding of new music to people who are much more knowledgeable, namely my brother and my roommate. When I'm left to my own devices, my tastes tend towards reggae, reggaeton, old school hip hop, and crappy mainstream rap. That is why I don't let myself decide what music I listen to. The last great shows I've been to have been Vetiver, Drag the River, Devotchka, and David Byrne.

I love all sorts of food, but I'm a seafood vegetarian so that dictates a lot of what I eat. I love weird salads and japanese homestyle cooking. I would probably like barbecue if I ate meat. (That last statement was pretty idiotic, please disregard.)

My favorite radio show / podcasts / news programs are as follows: WTF; KCRW's Left, Right, and Center; FAIR's CounterSpin; Media Matters with Bob McChesney; and Bill Moyers Journal.

1. Wilderness trails
2. Profanity
3. The farmer's market
4. Politics (it's in my blood)
5. Methadone
6. Gold Rum

Work, of course. News and politics. My escape plan.

I find myself returning to the themes of Science, Religion, and Politics, and their intersections. Anything that involves all three, for example the debates over stem cell research or creationism in schools, would rate as highly interesting to me.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about feminism, LGBT equality, civil rights, and human rights. These are the issues that keep me politically motivated and I'm looking towards probably making a career in one of these fields. Basically, I am pretty well convinced that the white man is the devil.

I like art. (something about that sentence is at once profound, retarded, meaningless, and sublime)

If I have a rugby game on Saturday, I'm probably keeping it on the down low, making some pasta and having a glass of wine.

If not, I am going to be out with friends lighting the town on fire.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm making this profile.

I'm not on here just to find dates, I'd like to meet some interesting people and make some new friends. And probably do a lot of idiotic messaging and joking around.

So if you get a message from me, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm trying to pork you. And by the same token, if you message me I won't immediately assume that you are down to bone.

That's the ExileInOC Promise(TM)!

if you have some really trenchant criticism of me or my profile, or you have a crude and offensive joke to share with me.

Also, if you're a smart girl who is confident and has a good sense of humor, I'm probably already in love with you. If you know who the Secretary of the Interior is and you can make a tart titan, let's skip the bullshit and just get married.

You should probably NOT message me if, in your list of six things you could never do without, you have listed 'chap stick'. You realize what this says about you, right? It says your greatest fear in life is dry lips.

Also, if you are the girl at the end of the bar yelling "WOOOOOOOO!" for no reason in particular, I'd rather admire you from afar.