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PrincessKirby

26 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hello.

This is the most important thing I have ever seen.

(Genital Appreciation Rant v2) As I told my boyfriend recently, I think penises are pretty much the cutest things ever, and when I see them I just want to kiss them on their adorable little heads. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a gross nerd.

I am a manic pixie fat kid. A joyful cynic. If Kirby was a gender, I would be that. I am filled with love floating atop a thin layer of self-loathing. Mostly love. S'beautiful.

As far as my orientation, I don't care what parts I find, I'll still be glad to see them. I think pansexual might cover it? Really, I am primarily attracted to enjoyable people with a skill of some sort.

It's difficult for me to say, "Oh you like (A)? Then you would also appreciate (B) as they have (shared characteristic) in common." Instead, I will gush, "You like (A)! Awesome! Here's something else that's awesome! Fuck yeah! Awesome things! Let's hold each other!"

This song is so bad that I can't help but love it.

Cuddling is a greater need for me than food. This is always true.

"'cause everyone made him a boy, and God didn't think to ask his preference."
What I’m doing with my life
Running the kitchen for a Seattle-based popcorn company. I've also been learning to cook real food and crochet in my spare time. I've also an interest in art and game design, although I haven't been able to focus on them as much lately.

Also, I am addicted to the Chris Gethard Show.

Hmm... I have a majestic boyfriend. Seriously, he's adorable. Unfortunately, he lives halfway across the country... Neither of us are interested in monogamy, and we have been attempting to navigate that. Kind of testing the waters, I guess.

So, just going to continue being super up-front and say that I am working through a lot of stuff. Childhood trauma, mental illness, etc. If you can't handle that, that's cool. I won't hold it against you. I can be distant, but mainly because I don't feel comfortable reaching out. I am very affectionate, once boundaries are established.

Here is a short film my brother and I made during a break from recording. It tells a powerful story, and I fully endorse it.

My only true goal in life is to be hugged by Reggie Watts.
I’m really good at
Cuddling. Man, woman, none of the above, I don't care. Motherfucker, I will cuddle the shit out of you! I'm a goddamn teddy bear!

Also, referring to myself to a ridiculous degree to assure people that these are my thoughts, not facts. Fucking amazing at that. Look at this profile. Peppered with I's.

Also, recognizing voice actors.

Also also wik.
The first things people usually notice about me
Oh, I do hope it's my eyes. I am quite fond of them. I take them everywhere I go, and display them prominently at every opportunity.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Adorable.

My favorite book is most definitely Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (recently butchered by the BBC!). I consume a great deal of WORD-COLLECTIONS, so it is difficult to sift through all the other wonderful things I have read to pick a few... and yet here I go! The works of Stephen Jay Gould, H. P. Lovecraft, and Douglas Adams. A Song of Ice and Fire. This is becoming less and less structured as it continues. Trigun, The Areas of My Expertise, Anarchy Evolution. American Gods. Neil Gaiman is wonderful, really.

Ooh... favorite movie would have to be Brazil, followed by Duck Soup, Dr. Strangelove and Super. Really, anything involving Terry Gilliam, the Coen Brothers, or the Marx Bros. delights me. (De. Light. Delight. Just doesn't make sense to me, now.) I also very much enjoy any film directed by Park Chan-Wook. I am halfway through my first viewing of Harold and Maude, and it is already one of my favorites. Also, the Evil Dead movies. I once met Bruce Campbell, and let me tell ya... he is shorter than I expected.

Favorite shows would be MST3K, Arrested Development, Peep Show, Blackadder, QI, Breaking Bad, Home Movies, and Futurama. Also, Doctor Who.

Music covers far too much. Recently I have been listening to a lot of NoMeansNo, Triptykon, and Madvillain. I could talk endlessly about music. There is so much that I adore. Ween, Jaga Jazzist, Anklepants, Ultra Zook, Elephant9, Strapping Young Lad, Neil Young (mostly any album that has the phrase "Crazy Horse" on it), Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, Danny Gatton, Zach Hill, Tom Waits, Anathema, Adrian Belew, They Might Be Giants, Zimmer's Hole, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Type O Negative, Opeth, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, Tom Petty, Johnny Cash, Bad Religion, Greg Graffin (redundant? No.), Megadeth (back when Dave's insanity was less overt), Igorrr, Voivod, anything Chris Poland does, Death, Doc Watson, Corrosion of Conformity, Alice in Chains, Faun Fables, Billie Holiday, Reverend Horton Heat, Buddy Rich, System of a Down, Dark Tranquility, Emperor, Death Grips, the Beastie Boys, Tool, Pryapisme. I love the Pixies far too much. I also have a special place in my heart for video game soundtracks.

I'm gonna be a rebel like EVERYONE ELSE and list games too! Psychonauts! Planescape: Torment! Yoshi's Island! Super Metroid! Mega Man Legends! Kirby! Earthworm Jim! Vagrant Story! Magic: the Gathering (I suck at it!)! Eternal Darkness! Killer 7! Killing Floor (I met John Gibson and his family recently, and they were all delightful)! Killing is my business, and this isn't a game! Cards Against Humanity! S.T.A.L.K.E.R.! The Binding of Isaac! Fallout, all iterations! Morrowind, Oblivion (less so), Skyrim! Arcanum! Your dick!

I actually don't normally have the urge to eat. I do enjoy most food though. I just have to be reminded occasionally that it is technically necessary for survival. Favorite objects to ingest are usually fruity, spicy, sour, or potatoes. I've started learning to cook proper human food (as opposed to the food I make for a living). So far I can make some damn fine hummus, some excellent mashed potatoes, chili, and splendorous chicken and dumplings (I have no food vocabulary). If you like 'em thick or soupy, I'm your man*!

*contents may not be as described
The six things I could never do without
Most of my fingers (let's be honest, no one needs both pinkies that isn't a pianist, and even they could learn to deal with it)
My brother

I'd say dick, but eh.

That is all.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about this, but I DO think that the movie 300 not only has the ability to have opinions on sex, but it also hates everything about sex.

Identity.

Why can't a woman have a beard?

That I will never truly have a milk moustache as long as I have an actual moustache... The sacrifices we make for vanity!

Why there isn't a power metal band called Masturbating the Dragon.

Eyes. Textures.

The warmth of blasphemy.

I constantly think about words. Their function, their construction. The rhythm of speech and how I would sound if I hadn't lost my accent. Video game development. Art. Apathy, and how I want to destroy it.

Also, bowler hats. It is an unhealthy fixation. I NOW OWN TWO, though, so it seems much less unhealthy.

Devy is my spirit animal.
On a typical Friday night I am
I lack a routine Friday. Gitarre spielen e'ry day, though. Recently reinvigorated.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I tried mushrooms for the first time on the 19th, and I wrote my first poem the next day:

A dance, a roll in the hay

Finally seizing the day

Unceasing, teasing love us

Sing of us, turning onus on us

Cheek red, devil’s hair

Shake heads, ruffle theirs

Joy or madness and

Everywhere we burn

For a moment to

Here or anywhere else

"Don’tcha see, Jimmy? 
You were high all along”

Bed, green lattice

Please tell me to stop

Can’t you won’t please

Just make it stop

You wait, lift, elevate

Tell me I’m not

A lie or candor

A serial plot

A sense to feel

A shame surreal

Ascends to kneel
Ashamed so real

I get you. Hi.

Limited, arrhythmia

Poor boy nobody loves

Himself or anyone else

Or else, a threat

Ending it quickly

Overtaking everything

That I knew would

Thrill me, kill me

Won’t let us oft

Mistake to take

Away from great

Nesting my heart

Lest I get you high

You get me

Off the rocker

Out the door

No gain? No pain anymore
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 18–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
...you think I look cute in a dress.

Or if you would like to engage in disjointed, somewhat-informed, entirely over-thought banter. Especially message me if you enjoy being cuddled like they were on molly by bearded weirdos whilst having deeply introspective conversations about things that probably don't matter to most.

If this makes you happy in your heart-place.

Relevant to our interaction: If I've sent you a message, it is most likely just a thought that has occurred while reading your profile, and possibly a further bit of absurd rambling because sometimes I amuse myself. While I would like a conversation to stem from wherever it may, I am rarely attempting to start one. I do try to tell people who seem particularly likeable that they are, BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO ENCOURAGE THAT WHICH IS GRAND. That said, feel free to message me back. Just know that I may have neither the desire to respond, nor anything further to say.

Feel free to ignore everything I've said.