Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was born on a small island in the middle of the Atlantic. At the
age of six, I started caching Sea Cucumbers in a net made out of
whale sperm. By the age of 10 I brought in more Sea Cucumbers than
any other on the island. When the HMS Helena would come to port
bringing mail, cargo, and tourists, they allowed me to hook the
lines. However one day I was attacked by a stupid seabird and
punched it in the face, in full view of the tourists. I lost my job
and was banished from the Island. Just Kidding..I was born in
Oakland and managed to dodge bullets to eventually make my way to
I like cars, traveling, Russia, Jager, seafood, play guitar, don't
trust China, have lived in Fredericksburg for two years but it
might as well be a foreign land, love going to Maryland
International Raceway, camping, fishing, shooting things, racist
rain, and long haul flights.
I hate onions, maths, Turkey (the animal and the country), blue
crabs when they are alive because they will eat your face off,
perrier, pop/R&B music, those fucking piece of shit sea birds
that shit on your car and steal your food, fucking northern
virginia traffic, city, and maryland (except the racetracks).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Lawn/house work, commuting 4 hours a day for a job, travelling when
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh. Almost putting myself in the infirmary. And
making pulled pork and mac n' cheese apparently.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am fat. I sometimes have a Fohawk. My eyes are weird and foreign
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.) Cars (Mustangs and other fast cars)
2.) A roof over my head
3.) My pitbull Miryi
4.) My passport
6.) My guitars
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The weather, seafood, airplanes, airports, Russia, and why in
America we show such concern for the "refugees" invading Europe
when we have absolutely no idea what is really happening. Well I
mean I know, but most don't know.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
watching shows on Discovery Channel about Gold or Alaska, often
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got sexually assaulted by a jellyfish, then by a pack of racist
yellow jackets...twice. Then recently assaulted by a jellyfish
again. I do not know if it was the same jelly fish. Update: After
the jelly fish assualt, I was sexually assaulted on two different
occasions by another pack of racist yellow jackets.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like seafood, traveling (and have the ability to travel
internationally), Cars and racing, can hang out on weekends, like
geopolitcs, like to camp and be outdoors.
*If we have a kid, you should be willing to have it on a
transpacific flight on a Asian or Australian airline. It sounds
weird but it is really a genius idea. J/K....or not
Who are you looking for?
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