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28 / M / Straight / Single
Oak Lawn, Illinois
- Last Online
- Today – 4:46pm
- Middle Eastern, White, Other
- 5′ 9″ (1.75m).
- Body Type
- Mostly anything
- Scorpio and it’s fun to think about
- Graduated from college/university
- Sales / Marketing / Biz Dev
- Doesn’t have kids
- Likes dogs and likes cats
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*Diction, sorry. I am always careful to choose the right words. At least in person, during verbal exchanges - under normal circumstances - when I actually have TIME to pay my thoughts serious consideration before scrambling clumsily to articulate them through spoken language, unlike now.
The Departed, Blade Runner, Inglourious Basterds, Pulp Fiction, V for Vendetta, The Matrix, Training Day, The Campaign, Superbad, Religulous, 28 Days Later, Planet Terror, The Dark Knight
Breaking Bad, Bill Maher, Boardwalk Empire, Curb, Mr. Show
Pop, rock, and gangster shit
Steak burritos or al pastor with pico de gallo is my favorite. Comfort foods like Sriracha wings at Goose Island or hot wings at Morgan's at Maxwell and Halsted in University Village. A good burger or chicken sandwich at Three Floyds. Sushi, grilled octopus, eel. Monkey brains, baby hippo testicles, dude eggs... Just kidding. Oh, yeah, but in all seriousness -- taquitos from the gas station when I'm good and sloppy at 3am. Oh, yeah. I'll eat almost anything. I'm a fucking animal.
2) Beach sleepovers
5) Bubble baths
6) Belly laughs
I'm not even sure how Snapchat etiquette even works. Am I supposed to Snap a video back to you saying "O.K.!" or "cool!" or "Oh" or "nice face you've got there"??? And ladies, I don't care how good looking you are. Your coy or "accidental" displays of exhibitionism couldn't be more transparent. I am insulted that you would ever be so brazen to think I could actually look past that. Fuckin' putting on a cutesy Betty Boop expression like your "fun bags" weren't deliberately positioned in such a way that makes them the obvious focal point of your pathetic compositions that bastardize the industry and disgrace the art of photography. God damn it! Damn you. You know damn well what you're doing and so do I. Keep up the good work. Sincerely, Old Pervert
At work? Ripping off my shirt, marching up to the front door of my office at an unremitting pace and kicking it open like a BOSS, throwing on some Ray-Bans, and driving into the sunset, while smoking a cigarette, slamming a beer and blasting "Welcome to the Jungle" in a red convertible at 100mph and NEVER looking back.
If I see one more selfie, I swear to god I'm going to blow my god damned head off. My Instagram feed is like some kind of sick, twisted iPhone commercial of naked, shameless vanity and contrived happiness. We spend hundreds of dollars per year on data plans for this? Ridiculous. We are the most spoiled generation of shallow idiots. Sent via iPad
Millennials in the workplace... Can't even BEGIN tell you how many people I've worked with who habitually moan and groan - literally, for no apparent reason, other than to anguish their being at work, in the cadence of a widowed mother who feels punished for having a job. Employees who JUST started at the company, no less. "Ugh," "Oh, goddddddd," etc. What the hell is wrong with these people?
I think it would be pretty badass of the president if he were to tell congress to "get your asses back to work," and address them as such on national television. If I were president I would relish the opportunity for these moments to the point of abuse.
Love how the most terrible scumbags I know publish profound, uplifting quotes of sage advice to Facebook, as if they have the whole world figured out and would like to impart their gift of knowledge and understanding to all of us lost souls who haven't cycled through the correctional system time and again.
It's nice to maintain a positive attitude in poor health, but sometimes it's just rude to tell someone "it could be worse," particularly when the person didn't open up a dialogue about it to begin with. How about I throw you out of a window and tell you how you should feel about it? "Whelp... could be worse!"
Also, I treated someone's life in front of Bruce Campbell one time.
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 23–35
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends
You want to smile at puppies with me
You think that science fiction is one of the best and most important things to have happened to humankind.
You wanna cook up some folksy songs and jam tunes with me
You wanna scratch my back
You wanna get sloppy and sing gangsta rap, Beastie Boys, and or Nine Inch Nails at a karaoke night outing
You wanna grill out and drink beers with me on Sundays
You wanna go out on fancy dinner dates
You think there is something incredibly special about breakfast
You'll listen to my burrito song and entertain my political musings on pancakes without retorting, "cool story, bro"
And that's my motherfucking words, too. Just let me motherfucking love you.