Today I am a vegetarian. Tomorrow I will be a pescatarian. On
Thursday I will be a Catholic but next Friday I will be a Jew.
Sometime in April I will go Vegan. I will eat buffalo wings two
days later and not be a vegan. I will be an omnivore. Did I mention
that on Saturday I will be a Liberal? That's okay if I didn't
because on Tuesday I will be a Libertarian. Am I a humanist? Yes.
But only in June or maybe November. I am a Native American but not
a "real" Native American, but I try. I do want to tell you that on
July 14 I am going to be a serial monogamist. Mark that on your
calender. If I could play the violin then I would be a pianist but
I'm not. But maybe. Maybe I will be a flexitarian if the Aquarius
moon rises over Denver. I am in a state of flux. Thank you for your
Wait a second! Maybe I am a fluxitarian. Yes I am. I'm not sure
what it is. I just made it up. I identify with identities. That's
What I’m doing with my life
I have a STRONG PASSION for SUSHI, YOGA, TRAVELLING, my FAMILY, my
FRIENDS, my IPHONE. I love to WORK OUT and GO FOR HIKES. I am a
DULL CONFORMIST. You will love me.
WORK HARD, PLAY HARD????? Double check ya big goon!!! Am I looking
for a PARTNER IN CRIME???? Is the Pope mo-fargin Polish????
I’m really good at
not vacuuming my apartment
making bad decisions
making mixer CDs
shooting free throws
ALSO: There is a high probability that I will fall in love with
you. However, there is even a higher probability that I will hate
The first things people usually notice about me
My tattooed goiter!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Chupacabra Diaries by Saul Bronstein, A Lizard and his
penis by Laurie Amory, Aerobic style for Idiots by Robert Shahoom,
Me and my bitch-ass moms by T'Shawn.
Movies: The Tumor King, Australian Wingnut part 2, French
Music: Streisand, Slayer, The Shadenfreudes, Muscle Boyz, Soylent
Food: Soup, butter, sandwiches, sushi, expensive food that will
OTHER FANCIFUL FAVORITES:
Favorite type of yoga...............None
Favorite eating utensil..................Spork
Favorite toe.........the one next to the Little Piggy
Favorite Accountant........Chuck Fringensteinburg CPA
Favorite pants.............brown corduroys
The six things I could never do without
Ice, Rice, Lice, Mice, Dice, and toenail clippers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Apathy, altruism, death, seriousness,
co-inky-dinks, authority, decadence, existential daymares, money,
sex, collective unconciosness, conformity, aesthetics, aging, etc.
and so on
On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing, just relaxing..........I SAID I WAS RELAXXXINGGG!!!!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once hit a superfecta. No shit.
You should message me if
....you think that God was an atheist......