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Fakespeare

25 M Closter, NJ

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Might want kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Poorly), Sign Language (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Hebrew (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Profiles suck because they are static, and people are always changing, learning, and growing - a profile can't define me, but I'll give it my best shot.
Whenever I have a chance to do something new, different, and potentially interesting I try to take it. I am culturally Jewish, but religiously, I am an Atheist, at least in terms of any traditional definition of God (saying this up front because I'm not really sure how I should list myself religiously on the right sidebar). I try not to be close-minded though; I am skeptical by nature, but there are always some things to be learned from even people with whom you disagree.
I enjoy listening to NPR, especially Radiolab, This American Life, and The Moth. I like reading, but generally prefer audiobooks. If I find a television show I like, I can watch huge amounts of it in one sitting. I'm on Reddit a lot. I like video games, but I tend not to play a lot because I find them frustratingly time consuming. I like to make jokes, a lot. If I think of something funny, I will usually say it regardless of the circumstances.
I really like talking to people. The feeling that you get when someone really understands a complex idea that you have is one of my favorite things. I like taking things that I learn and applying them to weird situations. I'm pretty logical and I often feel the need to play the devil's advocate. I am notoriously good at guessing plot twists in movies.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
UPDATE: I graduated from law school last May.
Just recently took the bar exam - now waiting for my results to come in, while searching for a job that will make me excited to get up in the morning.

On my down time, I help write screenplays with my friends or create overly elaborate jokes on the internet. Otherwise I'm just reading webcomics, watching a hand full of really good shows, exercising, surfing the internet, redditing, biking, jogging, playing tennis, hiking with my dog or playing with my dog. Recently, I have done some abstract drawing. I also occasionally party or go to bars.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at listening to people. People usually don't catch this immediately, but I'm surprisingly perceptive and really make connections to what people say. I'm also pretty easy to talk to due to my fairly rational thinking and chill demeanor.
Back rubs.
I like to go out on adventures. Again, if something is new and different, I'm usually in.
Just picked up a new pair of devil sticks, and I'm pretty good at using them.
I've also been told that I'm really funny.
I'm also ridiculously good at coming up with analogies. I'm like the Tiger Woods of coming up with analogies, except with out all the cheating on his wife... Scratch that... I'm like the Lance Armstrong of coming up with analogies, except with out all the cheating at cycling... Scratch that again... I'm like... you know what? Nevermind.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard. It's red-ish, while my hair is more brown. That is of course, unless I completely shave it, which I have not done in a while. I'm pretty disorganized. I will usually be the first one to crack a joke.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: almost anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Malcolm Gladwell, Wally Lamb, Carlos Castaneda, Douglas Adams, Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, Jon Ronson, Hermann Hesse. Nick Hornby or Bill Bryson. In terms of specific books, I really like my book of poetry by e.e. cummings, Siddhartha, Demian, Steppenwolf, The Neuromancer, High Fidelity, I Know This Much is True, Dune, The God Delusion, Blink, What the Dog Saw, Outliers,Slaughterhouse-Five, Welcome to the Monkey House, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Series, The Teachings of Don Juan, About a Boy, A Walk in the Woods, A Short History of Nearly Everything, The Once and Future King, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Suddenly a Knock on the Door, Battle Royale, Games People Play, The Sun Also Rises, Sigmund Freud's Interpretations of Dreams, Lolita, Tao Te Ching and Prometheus Rising - I particularly like books that give me so many ideas, I have trouble finishing them because they make me just want to start writing.

Movies: comedies, dumb comedies, kung-fu movies, almost anything made by Akira Kurosawa, almost every Quentin Tarantino movie, Park Chan-wook is pretty awesome, Kevin Smith is a lot of fun, old science fiction movies, foreign films, films that have cool concepts, and movies that make me really think. In terms of specific movies, I really like Oldboy, Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist, The Seven Samurai, Ikiru, Buffalo '66, The Importance of Being Earnest, Anchorman, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, 500 Days of Summer, High Fidelity, Sin City, Thank You for Smoking, Star Wars, Star Trek, The Hangover, Superbad, The Wackness, The Conformist, Hero, Scott Pilgrim vs the World

Music: My tastes are often eclectic, but my all time favorites are Talking Heads, Modest Mouse, Franz Ferdinand, Gorillaz, The Beatles, Buck 65, Danger Mouse, The Clash, Pogo, Cat Stevens, Johnny Cash, Marvin Gaye, Don Ellis, Wes Montgomery, Miles Davis, Nujabes, Emancipator, The Streets, Simon & Garfunkel, Dave Brubeck, Laurie Anderson, Wax Tailor, Die Antwoord, Flight of the Conchords, tUnE-yArDs, Wolf Parade, Jack Johnson, and Antonio Vivaldi

Food: Chinese Food, Sushi, Thai Food, Japanese Food, Mexican Food, Italian Food, Halal Food, Korean Food, I just tried Ethiopian Food for the first time and that was pretty awesome. I really do like Trying New Foods.

Television Shows: Arrested Development, The Wire, In Treatment, Boston Legal, Lost, Futurama, Fringe, House, The Boondocks, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Daily Show, Check it Out! With Dr. Steve Brule, The Office, South Park, Kung Fu, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Stella, Firefly, Venture Bros, Flight of the Conchords, Doctor Who, Look Around You, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Oz, Mad Men, Monty Python, Archer, Breaking Bad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Parks and Recreation, House of Cards, Rick and Morty

Podcasts: the Hey Ash, Whatcha Podcast, The Moth Podcast, This American Life, Radiolab, YuGiOh! The Abridged Series, Welcome to Nightvale

Webcomics: MSPaint Adventures (Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff and the rest), Amazing Super Powers, Awkward Zombie, Axe Cop, Brawl in the Family, Cyanide and Happiness, Darken, Dr. McNinja, Irregular Webcomic, Legostar Galactica, Moe, Nerf NOW!!, Order of the Stick, Penny Arcade, PvP, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, Shortpacked, The Perry Bible Fellowship, The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, VG Cats, White Ninja, XKCD

Games: I like tabletop rpgs (like D&D), any games made by Valve or Nintedo, old school Sega games, Suda51 games, playing on my Xbox 360 or Wii, card/board games until friendships are ruined, Drinking Games are fun too if this geeky stuff isn't your thing, lol.

Playwrights: Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My friends, my laptop, my dog, caffeine, my car (as in a reliable mode of transportation - not that the car itself matters), and a good story to get lost in (medium doesn't matter much).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with friends and/or trying something new. Possibly catching up on sleep.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Ever since I created my profile, I have stopped physically aging, yet the me in my profile picture continues to get older and older. It could be worse I suppose, but if anyone has any tips for fixing this, I'm all ears.

If we have similar tastes, I may use your profile's favorite book list to gather book recommendations.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You just want to (just do it - can't hurt).