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Fakespeare

25 Closter, NJ Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Might want kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Poorly), Sign Language (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Hebrew (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was in high school, I taught myself how to program my graphing calculator. I used this skill to write a program that would solve the equations we were given in that class and show the work. I gave it out to the entire class without asking anything in return. Everyone loved it until a classmate who was impressed with it foolishly showed it to the teacher.

So who am I? I'm intelligent/I love learning new things, I dislike authority, I like helping people, I'm an outside of the box thinker, I guess I’m a bit of a hippy (minus the new-age stuff), I’m sex-positive (people shouldn’t be ashamed of their sexuality), an atheist/non-practicing Jew (not religious at all, although I do really enjoy Taoistm), a total nerd, a redditor, a critical thinker, an NPR fan, an audiobook/podcast junkie, a gamer, a biker, a hiker, a dog lover, a good friend, and a bit of a goofball.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Passed the bar – worked as a Public Defender for a summer - had a brief career as lobbyist to end the war on drugs - just got back to North Jersey to try my hand at something new.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Physically: My beard. It's part blonde, part red-ish, while my hair is more brown.

Personality-wise: I will usually be the first one to crack a joke.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Feel free to skip any and all favorite sections that don't interest you

Books: almost anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Malcolm Gladwell, Wally Lamb, Carlos Castaneda, Douglas Adams, Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, Jon Ronson, Hermann Hesse. Nick Hornby or Bill Bryson. In terms of specific books, I really like my book of poetry by e.e. cummings, The Neuromancer, High Fidelity, I Know This Much is True, Dune, The God Delusion, The Once and Future King, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Suddenly a Knock on the Door, Battle Royale, Games People Play, Sigmund Freud's Interpretations of Dreams, Lolita, Tao Te Ching and Prometheus Rising

Movies: comedies, dumb comedies, kung-fu movies, almost anything made by Akira Kurosawa, almost every Quentin Tarantino movie, Park Chan-wook is pretty awesome, Anything by Satoshi Kon. In terms of specific movies, I really like Oldboy, Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist, The Seven Samurai, Buffalo '66, The Importance of Being Earnest, Anchorman, High Fidelity, Sin City, Thank You for Smoking, Star Wars, Star Trek, The Hangover, Superbad, The Wackness, Princess Mononoke, Interstellar The Conformist, Hero, Scott Pilgrim vs the World

Music: My tastes are often eclectic, but my all time favorites are Talking Heads, Modest Mouse, Franz Ferdinand, Gorillaz, The Beatles, Buck 65, Danger Mouse, The Clash, Pogo, Cat Stevens, Johnny Cash, Marvin Gaye, Don Ellis, Wes Montgomery, Miles Davis, Nujabes, Emancipator, The Streets, Simon & Garfunkel, Dave Brubeck, Laurie Anderson, Wax Tailor, Die Antwoord, Flight of the Conchords, tUnE-yArDs, Wolf Parade, Jack Johnson, and Antonio Vivaldi

Food: Chinese Food, Sushi, Thai Food, Japanese Food, Mexican Food, Italian Food, Halal Food, Korean Food, I want to try Ethiopian Food again. I really do like Trying New Foods.

Television Shows: Arrested Development, The Wire, In Treatment, Boston Legal, Lost, Futurama, Fringe, House, The Boondocks, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Daily Show, Check it Out!, The Office, South Park, Kung Fu, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Stella, Firefly, Venture Bros, Flight of the Conchords, Doctor Who, Look Around You, Tim and Eric, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Oz, Mad Men, Monty Python, Archer, Breaking Bad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Parks and Recreation, House of Cards, Rick and Morty

Podcasts: the Hey Ash, Whatcha Podcast, The Moth Podcast, This American Life, Radiolab, YuGiOh! The Abridged Series, Nightvale, Serial

Webcomics: MSPaint Adventures (Homestuck, Problem Sleuth, Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff etc), Amazing Super Powers, Awkward Zombie, Axe Cop, Brawl in the Family, Cyanide and Happiness, Widdershins, Dr. McNinja, Legostar Galactica, Order of the Stick, Penny Arcade, SMBC, Shortpacked, The Perry Bible Fellowship, Wonderella, VG Cats, White Ninja, XKCD

Games: I like tabletop rpgs (like D&D). any games made by Valve or Nintedo, old school Sega games, Suda51 games, playing on my Xbox 360 or Wii, card/board games until friendships are ruined,

Playwrights: Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My friends (they keep me sane),
2. my laptop (it keeps me occupied)
3. my dog (we give each other unconditional love)
4. caffeine (it gives me the illusion of control over my life)
5. my car (it gives me a reliable mode of transportation - not that the car itself matters)
6. a good story (it gives me something outside myself to get lost in - medium doesn't matter much)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I became vice-president of my Middle School class simply by proclaiming myself to be Batman and wearing Batman T-shirts throughout my campaign.
You should message me if
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You just want to (just do it - can't hurt).

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