I have to say I'm a little put off with all the "I only date white men" or "I only date black men" statements I've been seeing. What kind of racist nonsense is that? "I prefer" is one thing, but the hard racial line is a bit scary. Is this where we are? Same goes for the religion thing, I don't care what your religion is, if any. You can be as crazy as you want to be, whatever it takes to get your mind off of an eternity rotting in the ground, but if it's limiting your social circle or making you say hateful nonsense whatever you are is unhealthy and you need to ease off of it a touch. I have precious few caveats. Really just one:
No fat chicks.
Haha, see I was all righteous before, and then BAM!, "No fat chicks"! I'm just kidding around.
Seriously though, no fat chicks.
Okay, so some more about me, so you don't waste your time or, more importantly, mine:
I tend to prefer girlie girls; not the submissive pre-feminist housewife type(I don't find submissiveness attractive, and associating it with femininity is just wrong), but an intelligent woman with strong opinions that can wear a dress or a skirt. I MIGHT have watched too much anime when I was a teenager. Or I just liked the cheerleaders. Oh cheerleaders. Anyway. My own style is usually a cross between old fashioned and modern, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fairly metro. Though I was actually rather punk rock / goth as a kid so, sometimes there's some throwback in there. No tattoos but lots of piercings, I even still have a couple, though I rarely wear anything in them. I like to shop, and I do I like designer labels, and other people that are at least a little fashion savvy. I'd rather have a stiff martini over a beer, but when I do have a beer I prefer Dos XX. Jk, craft beer 4 lyfe thugs. I'll happily drink anything in the right company. I often wish wearing hats was not so out of style, because I have a strong urge to wear them, but no no no. I'm far more comfortable in a suit than in jeans; though Dolce & Gabbana make some tight ass jeans. Actually you know, they're all tight: I am secretly a giant fat guy with fake pictures. They call me Big Bubba Chocolate. Have I got some candy for you. Oh wait, just kidding! ...maybe. I like to repair and shoot guns and even hunt or fish occasionally. I like to work on cars and trucks and build things, with my hands. Yeah, punch that man-card. I like to work out and lift my large triangular weights, but I despise sports fandom utterly - play a sport: yes; watch a sport: no. Get that straight, I hate sports. HATE. But if I can have a few drinks, I'll go to a game. What? I like alcohol. It makes other people seem less ugly and far more interesting. I like theatre and can and will sing show tunes... and dance. Especially if I'm bored, which is always. I can play a variety of musical instruments, have some experience in composition, and I enjoy the arts. Did I mention I like to wrestle large animals to the ground with my bare hands? Actually I don't, but a couple more macho things couldn't hurt about now. I really do like kittens though, I'll wrestle them all day, any day. No, I'm not gay. I enjoy a good book and have read a library's collection worth of them. I like cats more than dogs and when I own a dog it is a teacup. The smaller the animal the better. Big dogs are for people that can't shoot straight. TEXAS! Still, you will not catch me wearing a sleeveless shirt outside the confines of my home ever, for any reason. At home, it's game on. I prefer metal to country, but not so much as angry folk music. Though I will play country if you put a guitar in my hands, it's just easier. I also like to cook, but not as much as I like to eat, and intend to get big and fat one day. Before you say it, remember what Peter Griffin said, "men aren't fat, only fat women are fat". Oh and while I can be sort of almost serious when I need to be, I'm far more liable to laugh and joke around. Someone once told me I spoke with too much "sarcasm" but I don't know what that means. Feel free to explain it to me at length: use pictures.
And and and, I have been burned by catfish before. I will try to move the convo off the internet asap. My asking you out for drinks is not about me trying to do anything but make sure you're not a voracious troll. If you take the initiative on that I'll like you all the better. I mean seriously, why delay? I know why. You live under a bridge and want me to fall in love with your personality before I see your green leathery flesh. So try not to give me heat for moving things along. Unless this is just a trick, and I am the troll! Muah haha! Come my pretty, let me feast on your delicious skin. Mmm. Skinny.