Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

FalseWitness

23 Indianapolis, IN Man

Man

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:10pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Leo
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Education
Income
Status
Single
Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not particularly outgoing, but I'm not so introverted that communication is a complete mystery to me. I'd say I'm relatively decent at interacting with people, but I rarely seek anyone out just to talk to them. It's weird though, because I actually love to listen to other people talk. I could listen to someone talk about themselves for hours at a time.

I prefer to take life at a very slow pace. I don't like to rush into things or really do anything at all without putting a lot of thought into it first. It also takes me a surprisingly long time to warm up to people. It's not like I'm not friendly. I just generally let people come to me first because I feel like I'm bothering somebody whenever I approach them for anything at all. I know in the back of my head that that's not the case, but brains being brains and all... Still, I eventually always open up and can be pretty fun to be around at that point. I call it awkward charisma.

I'm a relatively laid back person who is generally okay with just flowing along with whatever is going on at the time. That's not to say that I'm not capable of throwing out an anchor in the flow of time every once in a while to accomplish a task. When I do find something I want to achieve or work on, I'm usually pretty good about planning everything out and getting things done correctly. I have a lot of drive, but I tend to need people to put that drive to use for me. I'm pretty poor at making my own decisions for myself. That's not to say that I make poor choices often. No, I just tend to not make very many decisions at all. I'm very indecisive. What can I say?

I'm totally working on changing that though. I can take charge of my life when I need to and it's looking like now is the time to do so.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Summer vacation is about to start for work, so I've been somewhat busy planning just how I'm going to spend all that free time. I think I'm going to do a lot of walking and exploring the state. I may even try to take that swing dancing class they offer in Fountain Square. There is a ton of stuff to see out there, might as well take a glance now and again.

I just moved into my own apartment very recently, so I'm in the process of getting used to being alone. I've always lived with someone else in the past, so it's kind of an adjustment. The quiet is somewhat nice though. Being away from everyone kind of sucks, but I'll get used to it. Maybe. I'm not quite used to it yet.

Right now, I'm working in the high school that I graduated from as a substitute teacher. It's been quite the eye-opening experience. High school kids are even lazier than I remember being when I was a student. That's saying something considering I essentially skipped an entire two years of school. Okay, so it was more of a medical thing instead of me being too cool for school.

I actually had the opportunity to teach a class of my own last semester. I'm pretty sure the experience killed off most of my interest in pursuing an actual career in teaching. Of course, I was dealing with freshman kids during their first few months at high school and was teaching a class that would probably be a heck of lot more useful for seniors (preparing for college and careers), so it probably wasn't representative of most teaching positions.

I really do enjoy my job though. My favorite thing, of course, is the built in vacation time. I have plenty of free time to do whatever I want at the end of every 9 weeks. 2 weeks each in fall, winter, and spring, with 2 months off in the summer. I love it. Of course, it would be ten times better if it were paid.

I went into substitute teaching right after I finished my final semester at Ivy Tech which was a year and a half ago. I definitely wish I had gone for more than just an associate's degree in General Studies. It doesn't help out for much other than getting into another university to get a real degree.

In addition to substituting, I spend my evenings during the weeknight working my second job as parking lot security at a plumbing school. That means I sit in my car, read books, and listen to the radio. Essentially, I have two jobs where I sit on my rear doing nothing. I don't make a whole lot, but I really can't complain too much. I could totally do with some benefits though. They'll come if I stay at the school for a while longer because it's likely I'll become an instructional assistant.

I will say, that it does tend to get a bit monotonous at times. It would be nice to have some responsibility and actual work to do every once in a while, which an IA position would provide.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making really strange or awkward faces. I apparently even do it when I'm not trying to, because my students always end up laughing at me when I'm staring off into space and say that I was making weird face after weird face. Students love to hassle the sub though, so who knows if that's true or not. I've heard it enough times in different classes to believe them though.

confusing the heck out of people unintentionally. I can bring about cycles of confusion and laughter like none other. The laughter part comes from the fact that my own laugh is completely ridiculous and makes other people laugh.

mediating arguments/conversations between people. I have a real knack for interpreting whatever message a person is trying to get across and kind of translating that over into terms the person they are talking to will understand. That and my incredible levels of patience are probably the only things that make me good at my job.

I think that skill kind of comes from the fact that I am quite the quick study and pick up a variety of things very easily. Of course, I constantly need to refresh my skillset or I'll end up forgetting how to do things and have to relearn it all from scratch. I probably became such an easy learner to make up for my impossibly bad memory.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I usually get quite a few comments about my eyes. They always come at the most random moments too. Like, someone will drop what they are saying in the middle of making a point just to make a comment. Really odd. I'd say they were green, but I'm sure it's probably more of a hazel. My eyes probably just stand out so much because I have pretty pale skin. My dad always jokes that it looks like I just stepped off the set of a silent film because the actors back then would sometimes powder their faces in order to make them stand out a bit better.

I can be pretty quiet at times. I was actually known as the Silent Sub during my entire first year of guest teaching. It's always nice to get a cool nickname. It's not that I don't talk, I just don't like to fill a silence just because it's quiet. I'd rather have a real reason to speak.

My handwriting is atrocious. Like, completely terrible. Worse than a doctor's, in fact. However, my cursive is still a million times better than my print. When writing in print, I can sometimes leave up to an inch of empty space between letters in a single word and I have absolutely no clue as to why. It's better if I just write in cursive (easier on the hand too). Why would people even notice my handwriting in the first place? Well, I guess I'm just used to the whole school environment where I usually have something I'm working on out in front of me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
As much as I am into entertainment, I hardly ever remember anything about it once I have finished consuming whatever it may have been. Lyrics, passages from books, and movie quotes really don't stick around in my head very long. I guess that means I can't make references all the time... Damn. (References are fun once in a blue moon, but when you talk exclusively in them, it gets kind of annoying)

Books:

The Black Company series (the later books kind of drop off in quality though)
A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones on HBO)
The Catcher in the Rye
Uncle Tom's Cabin (one hell of an emotional book that was)
Of Mice and Men
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
The Harry Potter series
The Hunger Games series
short stories by Shirley Jackson
everything by Tamora Pierce (my favorite author)
random books that I find in the library interest me 95% of the time

I actually read most of the classics outside of a school setting, which is probably why I enjoyed them more.

Movies:

The Prestige is probably my favorite movie of all time. Of course, I love all of Nolan's work.

Huge Johnny Depp fan. Dead Man is my favorite movie that he has starred in. It's just so damned weird, but is an excellent western.

Wait... I totally forgot about Forrest Gump. That has to be my top film right there.

Actually, I've been lying to myself this whole time. O Brother, Where Art Thou? is my absolute favorite. No, for real this time.

Just about everything. Seriously, I love movies in general. I'm like the opposite of a film critic- it is all good to me. The only movie I think I could say I really disliked was Julie & Julia. The previews looked interesting, but I just couldn't get into it.

Shows:

Face/Off - It's essentially Project Runway with special effects and it is fantastic.
Breaking Bad
Game of Thrones
Daredevil (Although, he looked so much better as the man in the mask. The Daredevil costume kind of sucks.)
Sherlock
Dexter
Homeland
Spartacus (Man, from a crappy first couple of episodes to one of my favorite series ever. What a journey that was.)
Raising Hope
Psych
Arrested Development (I have Pop Pop in the attic.)
Parks and Recreation
Community
Modern Family
Bob's Burgers - I only started watching this in the third season, so I'm quite glad it has been picked up by Adult Swim. It's freaking hilarious.
all kinds of other random shows on cable
Just got Netflix, so it looks like I'll be catching up on a lot of supposedly great series now. It seems like TV shows are so much better when you can watch episode after episode. Things flow together so much better that way. Orange is the New Black was freaking hilarious.

Music:

Classic rock
Black Sabbath
Queen
The Who
Led Zeppelin
AC/DC
Classic music from the 60s, 70s, and 80s in general.
Rap from the 80s and 90s.
Just about everything Jack White does including the White Stripes, the Raconteurs, and the Dead Weather. I love both of his solo albums, Blunderbuss and Lazaretto. A nice mix of musical styles there.
The Black Keys
Beck
Foster the People
La Roux
Cold War Kids
I have no problems listening to the 'Top 40' or whatever it is they play on local radio stations. I'm not one of those people who are constantly hating on mainstream music. The radio station that is usually on in my car is Alt 103.3. I'm guess I'm just a huge alternative fan.
Not a big fan of metal or country, but I do like bluegrass and folk, The O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack is fantastic.
Classical music (even though I'm not too familiar with a lot of it)

Food:

Salads of all sorts
Most fresh fruits and vegetables (I could gnaw on raw veggies all day). Celery is a common one that I don't particularly enjoy though. Such a strange taste.
Cheese (with everything)
Chicken (all types)
Steak (well-done sirloin preferably)
Tacos
Pizza
Potatoes
Not a big fan of seafood, but I will eat fried shrimp/clams on occasion. I also like grilled/boiled shrimp.
Thai
Italian
Peruvian
Mexican
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Something to read. I read constantly. Not just books either. I'm talking street signs, warnings on bottles, stuff carved into tables at public parks, etc. I definitely prefer a nice, long book (preferably series) to settle down into so that I can be immersed in an interesting world for a couple weeks. I used to devour 400+ page books in a night, but I recently discovered that epics can become a little more engaging when you allow yourself a tad bit more time between chapters.

2. Good pillows/a fan for when I am sleeping. I need to feel cool and comfortable in order to go to sleep. I also like it to be quite dark, so I typically sleep with a pillowcase tied around my head... Yeah, kind of weird now that I think about it. Getting to sleep can be troublesome sometimes if I don't have all of these close by. Sometimes I'll substitute music for the fan. It's the noise that helps mainly.

3. Internet. Totally shallow, right? I mean, I can go without it for long periods of time, but I need to come back to it after a while. It just gives me an influx of new stuff to look at/catch my interest. I would end up being so bored if I couldn't quickly/easily look up stuff to do. I am considering doing away with this when I get my house though. For at least the first year.

4. Lounge shorts. Nothing says coming home like slipping off your work clothes and sliding into a pair of basketball shorts. They're just so comfortable and cooling. Also, I'm not a big pants guy, but I hardly ever wear shorts outside. I don't really get it.

5. Shirt. I don't understand how people can go shirtless so often. Maybe I just need to tap into my Matthew McConaughey-side more often.

6. A private bathroom. Yep... that's nasty. I just can't handle public bathrooms. Of course, I don't mind sharing with a select few; I just don't like the ones that are open to everyone in the world.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
whether or not I should join the military (Navy, Air Force, or Coast Guard). The education benefits and work experience are really making me consider it.

how much longer I should keep my current job. I mean, it's a really easy job, but it doesn't pay a whole lot. The hours are wonderful and so are the built-in breaks, but I'd really love to have some benefits. I suppose I could always become an actual teacher, but I'd have to go to school for another couple years. I'm sure it would probably be worth it to do that anyway though.

why I wasted two years in college pursuing a degree in General Studies. Literally any other degree would have been more beneficial. I guess I was just too afraid to specialize. I suppose I do need to go back eventually and get that Bachelor's degree. The question lies in what to go back and actually study this time around...

how redundant saying 'You're Welcome' really is. I mean, I still say thank you and the like, but I don't like to respond to it. The 'Thank You' is usually given in response to something else, so I don't see why the additional phrase is needed. You do a task for someone and they thank you for it. Bam. Done. Nothing more needed. Not that I think being polite is pointless. No, far from it.

how weird common things usually are or how awkward certain words sound if you end up saying them a whole lot. Seriously. I hit that limit with camel. I don't think I can say it again without being totally weirded out.

I also anticipate going completely gray for some reason. I guess I just like the way the few gray hairs I already have look compared to the color of the rest of my hair.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
usually at home reading or watching a movie, eating something delicious in the process. I'm kind of looking forward to changing that around though. Generally, I much prefer doing things throughout the week/on Saturday mornings. Of course, I am a total night owl so I'm rarely awake on Saturday mornings. So, yeah... Friday nights would be fun to go do something.

Friday night is actually the only night of the week that I don't have to work (well, besides weekends). Of course, my family usually enlists me in some ridiculous adventure to go pick something up for them. Pro-tip- Never let people know you drive a truck. It's not even mine, it's my uncle's. I don't know why they don't just get him to do their furniture pickups for them.

Still, family is family. They always help me out when I need them to, so I'm happy to return the favor.

Every night is going to be like a Friday night for me here in a month's time. I'm getting ready to go on summer break. Ah, the perks of working at a school... Now I just need to come up with some creative ways to spend all of that free time I'm going to have.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I rarely ever call anyone by their name. It's because I'm really bad at remembering people's names. So, I just address everyone with either a hey or you. How bad is that? I swear, I think it's because I'm a substitute. I spend all day looking at names and it would be a real pain to remember them.

I'm actually an extremely emotional person. It just takes a whole lot of effort for the shell that I've created around myself to break and let my true feelings shine through.

I have an absolutely awful memory. I've had a load of head injuries throughout my lifetime that have really destroyed my memory for the most part. I guess that is what you get when you have a rambunctious older brother and wild cousin.

I also get embarrassed really easily. I even feel embarrassed when something happens to somebody else, even if I don't know that person at all. When I go out with a group, I tend to feel responsible for everyone in that group's actions and behavior.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you realize that a conversation needs to be a two-way street. I'd love to learn more about you, but it would be nice if you can ask me questions too. I'm not really into conducting interviews. Conversations are a lot of fun when both people are actively participating.

I won't lie, I'm really bad about initiating conversations. That's why you've probably seen me visit your profile a few times without ever actually sending you a message. You know that mysterious silent type? Yeah, that's totally me.

I mean, you can probably tell that our conversation will at least be more than one word back and forth based on how long this darned profile is at least. That's the one thing I can guarantee.