I always toast with. “La Chaim,” at Christmas, but no one thinks it’s funny. I played James Brown’s Hot Pants to celebrate the spring that finally came but only got raised eyebrows. I wonder whether they have heard the one about the Swedish guy who loved his wife so much he almost told her?
Michelle Bachmann was quoted a few years ago saying, "God tells my husband what I should do." Another good one from her recently was how, "We could use a president like Ben Franklin again." That's almost as good as the Palin paraphrase, "I can see Russia from my house!" Palin's best is, "God loves America. That's why he wrote the Bible in English."
Commenting on intelligent design and human beings, Neil DeGrasse Tyson asked, “Who would ever say that putting an entertainment complex in the middle of a sewage treatment plant was a good idea?”
The statement, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" should be linked with the fact that in greater numbers than ever many women are choosing not to marry. This may prompt the retort, "Why buy the pig when perhaps all you want is some sausage?"
Back when Abe was first courting Mary Todd, she commented how, "He wanted to dance with me in the worst way...and he did."
Oscar Wilde's famous last words were, "Either this wallpaper has to go or I do."
Then there are the words of the brash Hollywood agent of years gone by, Sue Menger, who used to say, "If you can't say anything nice about someone...come sit by me."
When Gandhi was asked his opinion of western civilization his comment was, "I think that would be a great idea."
There is a recent study done by the Anglicans claiming Jesus and many of the saints suffered from mental illness (no, really, go look it up).
Then there is the story about the guy who was arrested a few years ago for trying to split an atom in his kitchen (also true).
I also like Jon Stewart’s comment, “We may not all live on bullshit mountain, but when it rains we sure do get the mudslide."
I think the one about the teacher, the lawyer and the priest is funny; but I won't tell that one just yet. Look up Mad TV’s alternate ending to the Wizard of OZ and their parodies of Schoolhouse Rock. Look up Mr. Deity and the philosopher, and the identity crisis, and skeptic, etc. I also love the stuff by Eddie Izzard, Lisa Lampanelli, Bill Maher, Lewis Black and so on. It’s also always good to remember George Carlin's admonition to "always question the perceived reality."
I also think the whole Edward Snowden thing was hilarious. What did we think they’d do after we rolled over for daddy with the Patriot Act for fear someone was going to dirty bomb Kalamazoo? We gave them license. They use it. The rest is whining on: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and so on. Go figure.
On a more serious note, I also like how Elizabeth I responded to the question about which virtue she valued most with, "That's simple; the answer is courage, for without it none of the others are possible." Indeed, as Anais Nin once said, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
I was born and raised in Minneapolis. I have an alphabet soup's worth of degrees in the arts and business --some ivy and honors mixed in. I have traveled the world (Europe, Russia, India, China...).
I was in the film industry for years in New York and then Los Angeles before I decided to let that go and come back to MN and be lead guardian to my older deaf and develop-mentally disabled brother (who lives in a group home). Since then I have balanced freelance consulting for IMAX film productions against other writing, editing and teaching positions.
I am liberal without apology, progressive and forward thinking. I am decent, kind, smart, funny and many other good things. I seek a complementary, co-equal, egalitarian and vitalized combination –a friend, lover and companion. I believe that any “real man” must also by definition be a feminist because to do otherwise confesses not strength but weakness. You get my honesty, respect, esteem and reciprocity always and in all ways, and then we will see how well we click before anything more.
I will not rescue, mentor or care-take. I have no interest in the mentally ill, chemically dependent or codependent. Neither do I seek the nearly or newly divorced. Being needed is one thing, and it has its important place in the scheme of things, but wouldn't we all rather be desired more than needed? No doubt these won’t abides eliminate 90-95% of the prospects on this site. Oh well. I gave up church for Lent some years ago and became an agnostic. That should push it to 95-98%. Yeah, the older one gets, hopefully, the less nonsense one puts up with.
I like the saying, "A man chases a woman until she catches him," and I also like the saying, "One must seduce the mind before the body truly follows." I am all about communication, attention, honor and integrity.
For the more literary among you, please don't over-think the errant qualities of Falstaff. I chose the moniker to be playful, making fun of online dating as a whole and myself in the process, too --laughing at the world and myself. Humor is a good thing. Indeed, I am more Falstaff than Lancelot. Gawain in year's past perhaps, but Falstaff is just too fun.
I mean, do you really want the knight in shining armor or the one in armor that has been through things and well tested? Isn't he more the one to lose the corset for? We are all Canterbury Pilgrims one way or another anyway. Oh now, please, "Come down off that cross; we can use the wood."
The belle and ravissante may tempt, and callipygian delights have their place, but beautiful is as beautiful does. The saying that, "Young beauties are works of nature; but beauties among the more experienced are works of art" comes to mind. Add to this, "There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapollogetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection...that is the true essence of beauty.” Character is everything. That matters, too.
I want the kind of woman who wonders about the balancing act of truth and justice against privilege and power. When is it truly independent thinking, and when is it still just shackled to authority, tradition, religion and revelation?
I want the kind of woman who is intrigued by strange questions like (in thinking about string theory and perhaps goofy links with transcendental meditation) whether consciousness is derivative of matter or matter is derivative of consciousness. When is it a priori or a posteriori? When is something nonsense? When is it insight? Why?
I want the woman who understands, "It's easy to take off all your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams...That is being naked." I want the woman who understands that being good in bed is only a fraction of what it means to be a good lover. I want the woman who understands and appreciates the value of a good man –one who goes the distance in all ways.
I want the woman who understands this is about finding and understanding the balance between respect and passion, between civility and the primordial, between being the independent and opinionated lady in public and the ______ in private, who understands that for the most part it is better to ask forgiveness than permission. It is about liberating and affirming one another to our best.
Are you tired of the jungle, carnival, circus parade or whatever you like to call it? Are you tired of codependent, chemically dependent or mentally ill options so prevalent on these sites? Are your tired of the ones you have to rescue, care-take and so on?
Are you tired of being seduced through your vanity or your fears only to be held hostage to dysfunction? Are you tired of being a slave to this and that? Do you rebel and call it freedom when what you are really doing is reliving some narrative, rerunning some old internal software that always had bugs and glitches anyway, some old thinking, fighting some old fight and trying to fix the past, right some wrong turn or who knows what?
Do you want to get off this merry-go-round and find a good friend, companion and lover? Do you want to find the combination of physical, emotional and intellectual fervor that offers both depth and creativity --maturity and substance beyond simply cavalier and wild oats?
The Apollonian matters, but what about the Dionysian? One should not be hostage to either, but what about relishing the wonders, spectacles and adventures that still beckon? What about those things?
Has the psychomachia of our time made you louche, insouciant, obtunded? Do you hunger for a more proprioceptive balance? Do the challenges I offer intrigue or intimidate? How do you answer? Do you want to recuse yourself from or respond to the adventure?
I don’t know by what algorithm, paradigm, syllogism or rubric you make these kinds of decisions. Neither do I know whether there are any ontological, epistemological or metaphysical considerations. That’s your business.
Dare I say (and after a summary as winding as this, well, why not?) the words of Ayn Rand come to mind, "Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."
I hope my words stir you. I am well worth your time and look forward to your response. Let’s get this adventure started. Otherwise, if I never meet you in this life, let me feel the lack, and best of luck to all.