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FantasyRose

27 F Cherry Hill, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Dec 11, 2007
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Russian, Latin

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
19/f, straight. 5' 6" (1.67m). Birthday: August 30, 1986 Bianca- Fun, Adventurous, Smart, Sexy, Sporty, girl w/ a Goth Side, and looking for friends in PA/NJ area. Think you can handle me? I'm a Ukrainian puppy-lover, who speaks Russian and English fluently but was born in America. I like meeting people and finding potential friends that are around my age.

My interests are: athleticism, ceramics, chess, cuddling, football, friends, fun, gothic shtuff, hockey, honesty, intelligence, kindness, love, massages, math, maturity, movies, no drugs, no smoking, open mindedness, poetry, pool, purple, roses, Russians/Ukrainians, Rutgers University, sexy-ness, sports, sweetness, theatre, trance, volleyball, etc.



Are You HOT or NOT?

It says that I'm single and looking for short term dating ... but that's just so I can be added into the Stranger Arranger feature of this site. I tend to get along better with people I have a lot in common with. I've found myself an awesome guy and hopefully this is the long term relationship I've wanted. I put all this info on myself on this site just to see if there was someone I can hold who will respect me... I'm not an accessory... and I think this guy's it. Hopefully, for heaven sakes, he won't leave me hanging... It used to be that another guy that seemed interested in me and said he'd call but didn't after more than a week and didn't answer my calls... they deserve to be killed. (And don't think I won't do it either. I'm sure that scared about half of those reading this profile .. hehe)

And please... I can't even get into bars yet.. that must be a put off for those of you who are 27 or over... (its kinda weird that most of the people that message or mail me are over 40.. I'm so confused.) I don't wanna be hanging around a bunch of much older guys. I'm looking for guys who are around my age but are mature (I'm 19).

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT IM ME SAYING THAT I AM SEXY OR BEAUTIFUL OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT. THAT IS NOT A PROPER WAY TO START A CONVERSATION. What am I supposed to answer?? Thanks?

See... I don't have high self-esteem and actually telling me I look good makes me think that the person that says comments like that is shallow and should GET A LIFE AND A BRAIN! (I hear they sell them on e-bay maybe you should check it out)

(P.S.-To those that pointed out to me a flaw, I'd like to add to the previous blurb: Yes, after you meet me and hang out with me for a little bit and still find your initial thoughts to be true or improved, a compliment would be a nice thing to hear. *smiles* I actually am able to appreciate/accept comments/compliments from those people b/c the good can come with the bad (aka constructive criticism) b/c noone you don't know will tell you to your face things you do wrong (hopefully subconsciously) and still want to be your friend. That's honesty right there. And b/c the good can come with the bad it is greatly appreciated (and I'm trying to get better at accepting that even though I'm not as close to perfect as I wanna be), I still do have good qualities that others can enjoy and notice. So a big thank you to those that read this and still want to meet me and those that keep returning to find updated info and to those that are, in a sense, allowed to give me constructive criticism but decide instead to pay me compliments. I applaud you all.

I am athletic, ukrainian, and complicated
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
For now I'm going to [Rutgers University in camden to find out what I want my major to be (used to be Pure Math with a few Physics classes and Theatre Minor, but now its gonna be Civil/Structural Engineering) and/or what I want to do with my life and playing volleyball (though our team is not the greatest and sorta lacking members) competitivly, in the fall, with my school in the mean time. Hopefully I'll be able to balance everything and not get crushed under the weight, though I get plenty of support from my friends.

Thinking about going to work for my dad who works at home with his own business as an engineering consultant. I'd be helping him do the math and expanding his business. It'll be difficult b/c my dad likes to command and get his way, so, I'm guessing if I don't do everything perfectly (see where I get my obsession with perfection from?) I'd be hounded.

I'd be working with my dad (get to spend more time with him), geting paid by my dad, be working on my own hours, working at home, have a great paycheck, later inherit the company(aka-upgrade opportunity available), and get to choose my own vacation days; which all aren't a problem. The problem is that I'd have to sleep in the same house that I'd be working in (that might give me nightmares), and be constantly bothered by my dad, who wouldn't get off my back, and I almost forgot- he probably has different methods of doing the math than I would learn in any physics/math classes I would take to be able to understand him and therefore cause difficulty between us.

Old News- My grandmother is tryng to set me up with a Russian/ Ukrainian Jewish boy. I feel like I'm playing the Russian dating game. SO, she calls her foot doctor (podiatrist) who, supposedly has a lot of Russian connections. He calls me up and in a talking down manner explains what his job will be in setting me up and "gets measurements" of my height and weight and what general age I look for. Now that is done this is the agenda:

1) Doc calls up a boy with a good family and tells him a little about me and assures him that I'm pretty and I come from a good background. 2) If the boy is interested boy gets number and calls me.

(I have gotten to this point) 3) Set up a meet date that is convienient for both. 4) Give reviews back to Doc. a) If I don't like the boy, the boy is scrapped and a new one will be found. Or if he doesn't like me then I am told (even sure I think I could figure it out by that point) and I don't see him again b) If we match we are expected to date till marriage.

Its kinda scary how my family is trying to take over my life. But, the problem is I have enough of a guilt factor just to give them the benefit of the doubt and just to try their little experiment. *sighs*

I feel like such a lab rat. :(

More Old News: They set me up with a really boring, unadventurous, simple, unmannered, cheap, rytmically disinclined, (I could go on...) guy. The plans were decent but the guy was obviously not my type.

I told them (my mother's mother and my father) all about the shudder-worthy date I had and then told them off. They left me alone with the confidence that I can make a good enough decision for myself, which probably would include some or maybe most of that they'd want anyway.

They have no idea who I am. Nor will they ever begin to understand. Closed-minded half-wits. *mutters*

My father stated to me the other day (a while ago now) that he "can't wait to hand me off in marraige, finally."

My internal response: well, its not like you see me ever, I'm sorry if I remind you of my mother who passed away when I was 6, hope you found some sort of happiness in your horse-looking girlfriend who's 10 years younger than you, you're the one who's planning things last moment and expecting me to drop everything just so your plans can work out...

Oh, don't get me wrong, I lov... him? heh, I wish I could say it, but f*@% if I ever know what that word means b/c of my circumstances in life. Hope someone will be able to bring it out of me one day.

Those who had once hated me and left me to rot in my own bile and fecal matter decided to reappear in my life saying that now that a little time passed, I might have changed and become a different person, one who they wouldn't mind spending time with... *rolls eyes* Like I had forgtten what they did to me. I'm not stupid. Yes, I have changed and learned from my experiences, but I'm not sure if those people have. (this is not just one person). I still haven't decided what to do about that/them: give them a chance to ruin my life for the second time or maybe they honestly missed me and would be willing to explain out what I am still confused about. Yes, I admit, it is the past and it should not be dwelled upon, but I just need a few things cleared up so that I can have closure and can move on, finally (after 2+ years of utter confusion).

Other than that I owe it to my good friends (and b/f) now (in the order I aquired them: Megan, Bryan, John, Danielle, Davide, Bob, Scott, Karla, Mike, Zack, Vlad, Dave, Corey, Misha (this list isn't carved in stone, there may be additions if I have forgotten anyone)) and the part of my family that understands- Thank you. You have been the spark of my existance and give me a reason to get up in the morning... err... afternoon. :P

On a different subject: I can't believe I've become more girly... (I still hate shopping a couple reasons are behind that: clothing that I know will look good on other people don't really fit me right, almost all the stores that do have nice clothes that would fit me have posters and maniquins(sp?) of skinny ass girls with no tummys, pudge, lovehandles, or non-abed-up stomachs, and shopping alone sucks but shopping with other people and trying on clothes that make you feel disgustingly self-conscious in front of them (to judge, none the less) makes me feel like I should be locked up in a tanning closet and fed protein shakes and vitamins for a month. *shudders* yuck! And another thing is that I don't like spending money unless it is to sustain my healthy existance and that shyte is pricey enough!) ... as I was saying I can't believe I'm becoming more girly! Sole reason: I'm going to Lithawania for my bro's wedding at the end of this month (July) and my sister-in-law said that the fashion there is amazingly more show-offish than in America. And she doesn't want me to feel left out or negatively talked about (what a great sister!) so, she suggested for me to get newer, more fashionable clothes. I am whole-heartedly taking her advice. As thost that met me know, I like to dress in conservative (most of the time) boy-ish clothes (some of the time) and in clothing that makes me feel comortable and at-ease with myself and the world around me. The Jeans and T-shirt type, if you will. I would just set myself up to be stared at in public if I did wear semi-revealing clothing and, as I'm sure you get from the rant in "My Self- Summary" I wouldn't want that. And hell, why would I even want to think about worrying if my breasts will pop out, or if I sit down wrong will my ass crack show or my pants rip or dress/skirt hike up or anything like that.. I dunno about those girls that do do that.. but I like having peace of mind most of the time and be able to let my mind flow in the direction it feels like when it feels like it. My mind has a mind of its own.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Knowing what people are going to say next, being sensual, adventurous, and spontaneous. :P
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
(My friends answers to this question:) My hair, my eyes, my exotic look, my smile, and my sarcasm.

My answer: my sensual gaze- as if I'm looking into a future I never had (you can see it in one of my pictures the one of me in the park), my facial expressions (when I have them), and my inconsistancies (or "lack of an almost perfection").

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy(it's what I was reading in one of the pics), The Da Vinci Code, The Count of Monte Cristo, Goosebumps- The Mummy Returns(give yourself goosebumps)[from my childhood]

B)Benny and Joon, Butterfly Effect, Chasing Amy, Cradle to the Grave, Cruel Intentions, Donnie Darko, Dragonheart, Fight Club, From Hell, Gladiator, Indiana Jones, Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, Mall Rats, Matrix, Meet the Fockers, My Fair Lady, Oceans 11, Pirates of the Carribean, Real Genious, Robin Hood- Men in Tights, Snatch, Stigmata, The Boondock Satins, The Princess Bride, Tomb Raider, Victor Victoria, (action movies with a potentially good sex scene), etc.

Disney/Animated- Aladdin, Anastasia, Mulan, Robin Hood, Sleeping Beauty, etc.

C)311, 3 Doors Down, Assemblage 23, Apoptygma Berzerk, Bowling for Soup, Cake, Chicago,Classical, Covenant, Cruxshadows, Delerium, Dido, the Eagles, Enigma, Enya, Evanescence, Godsmack, goth music, Gravity Kills, Green Day, Hoobastank, industrial music, KMFDM, Linkin Park, Madonna, MDFMK, Maroon 5, My Chemical Romance, old school Offspring, Papa Roach, Prodigy, Project Pitchfork, Queen, Ruke v Verh, Seabound, Staind, Sublime, Sum 41, Switchfoot, U2, VNV Nation, Zeromancer, russian techno/pop, soft rock, oldies, usually the songs have a good beat and the voice isn't annoying and whatever my mood calls for. (+ I like to sing w/ the music... usually I have the volume high enough so that I can't hear my own voice over it) I also like listening to comedians like Dane Cook and Robin Williams perform. Cynicism is greatly appreciated.

D)Lo Mein, General Tso's Chicken, Dumplings, Hot and Sour Soup, Sushi/Sashimi, most Italian food, Subway, Gyros, Stromboli/Calzones, Steak(T-bone), Cheese Steaks (with mushrooms and onions), Ribs, Fried Chicken, Chicken Wraps, Salads (Italian or Caesar Dressing), New England Clam Chowder, etc. (Out to Dinner?) Desserts- Napolian Cake, Apple Ladkas, Lemon and Mango Sorbet, Fruit, Rita's Gelati, and tasty things?

E) Favorite Color- PURPLE! AKA- SEXY.

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My vital organs(mind included), nutrition for the latter, hope, temptation, people to care about, and curiosity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How my life would be in different circumstances, my future, my friends and family, school, what I'm going to be doing that night... etc.

This is my poetry (it's kinda private so if you're not interested, just don't read it).

Ancient Sparkles of Time

Its time for time to time away,

To see the glow turn dim,

To watch as precious moments slip,

Deeper into the ancient and tip over the rim.

Watch as the last sparkles go,

Give the last of the memories a kiss,

They're floating quickly away... *snap*

Already gone into the mysterious abyss.

Copyright �2005

Windless Kites

I feel lonely and forgotten,

Just as clear as the wind

Trying to make an impression.

The harder I blow the less I'm wanted,

So I will just go away.

When I never come back

No one will miss me

They will not notice I'm gone

For I'm not important to anyone.

But those who want to fly kites

Will call for me but I will not come.

The rest of the world has truly forgot me

I'm truly not wanted by all...

Except to fly kites on.

Copyright �2005

Doomed Love

To wish To want To dare To forsake

The wisdom The lie The truth The fate

To accept To need To know To tempt

The facts The love The dream The empty

I have the power to prove to all

That wisdom and knowledge can uppall

The truth may hurt but ceases pain

Of those who love but do in vain

When dreams dare to light the path

They also seem to know traps

Though courage may or does persist

Truth shows and attempts to assist

The impossible cups, avengeful sir

And movements wihin the heart does stir

So accepting pain as is and flee

Is not the born way of empathy

But you do as you were told

For my heart has but turned cold

You had my teachings and turned away

Love I'll save for another one day.

Copyright �2005

Night

The night is lonely, The stars are cold,

Then I will rise soon, My life will be told,

I see my world before me, And lifeless its true

The darkness stays always, The night will bring me you

My dreams are what's left at night, Of my unfolded world

The thoughts come unexpectedly, To taunt this little girl

My wishes come true now, Though my dreams can forsake

Through long paths they lead me, They may construe my fate

I wonder will you be near me, I wonder about you my sweet

Not too far at night though, Your kiss caresses my cheek

Your body wraps me tightly, Your arms are strong and right

Your kiss is soft and humble, You stay throughout the night

By morning you leave my side, Me and an empty world

Where I must make decisions, Myself this little girl

Copyright �2005

My Rose

The flowers were in full bloom that day

Through few clouds, shined brilliant light

Everyone had gotten together for you

After the glowing moon darkened overnight.

Life had vivid possibilities

Because you were around

and when I cried or scraped my knee

You lifted me off the ground

The magestic rose I gave to you

Was the most beautiful of them all

As you were to me in my heart

Though the best must always fall.

Once silence had been unknown to me

And then through my life it reigned

Once you were taken away from me

My soul became untame.

Few years that you had held me tight

So many years here you have layed

My mother, you were so dear to me,

My rose lay on your grave.

Copyright �2005

Right Next To You

Hear the wind rustling the tree leaves

Hear crickets chirp a lonely song

Hear rattling rocks near train tracks

But hear my deep sweet sigh through it?

Taste an unsealed envelope's edge

Have a taste of a pure ripe pear

Taste the mist of the morning's dew

But taste my rose perfume through it?

See glowing eyes by a dumpster

See mystery in a mosaic

See the darkning after lightning

But see my bent shadow through it?

Feel the hum of moistened crystal

Slowely pulled around the cups rim

Twinkling in the moonlight's prescence

But feel my torn heart beat through it?

Unsteady pulse once there then gone

Hold up your hand and only feel

For that is all that I can do

You're millions of miles away

Copyright �2005

The Darkened Path

The love of theirs had led them to decay

As moonlight fades and nears the light of day,

When lovers crossed the path on which they stay

The opened path they took led them astray,

For evil done them in and now they lay

But two steps down and from the darkened bay

And as the night gets cold, a soul did say,

True lovers pass but hurry with dismay.

Copyright �2005

The Perfect Night

We meet at the usual spot,

At the usual hour,

But I feel something different this time,

As we sit down on the bench.

I am embraced by your arms, warm and gentle,

Shielding me from the

Chill of the salty breeze.

My head gently lays on your broad shoulder.

Your fingers guide their way to my chin and

With little force turn me till our eyes meet.

A warm chill flows down my spine

And I see your eyes glow and sparkle of the

Mirrored moonlight from the water.

I see and hear nothing as our lips meet and

Sweet tongues dance to a silent rhythm.

My eyes now open, gaze into the space before me.

It was all but a fantasy that has now vanished into the mist.

But hopefully in time, when our eyes close and reopen,

You will remember it all, as I will.

Copyright �2005

On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Grandmom's at 12 till 3ish. Visiting my boyfriend. Practicing volleyball with my team. Hanging out with my small group of friends at a certain friend's house watching Stargate SG1 and sometimes the following programs, and once that's all done falling asleep at home or my brother's house until I get a phone call the next day (usually or hopefully sometime after 1pm-ish).

OR

Something better if it exists ;)

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1)People get addicted to me,

2)I have a poor memory(needs an upgrade),

3)I have problems getting into (and out of) relationships,

4)My mood changes everyday (usually happyish, sometimes 6 y/o girl type, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes grouchy and sometimes... well... aunry) usually depends on the events of the day (I'm not bi-polar and I don't hear voices in my head other than my own aka I'm not crazy... I'm just... crazy). :P

5)I know what it is I'm looking for in a guy- its a very long list. I'm not looking for 100% of the list...but as close to it as possible. After each relationship I have it gets added to. Its not a physically existing list, though I've tried to make one. Its really hard to explain somethings that I look for because I judge based on how I feel around (or by talking to) a person.

Usually if I even consider dating someone I like the guy's face, his body looks between generally fit and skinny, I have a lot in common with him, he and I have great openminded conversations, I feel warm inside near him, I feel secure, etc. (I might add more) So, might as well try to be my friend and not try to date me(espcially now since I'm taken!).

6) I feel like slowely but surely those people that I have befrended stop calling me and, magically, I can't get a hold of them either! I hate that! It's like they're ignoring me for some reason or another. If they don't want me being they're friend, hell, they can just say so! And, hopefully, they have some kind of logical reason behind it... I'm not one to be a stalker but I genuinely care about people I'm in contact with. *sighs* Common sense is uncommon nowadays... what a shame.

7) There are days when I wish I never existed.

I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 20–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are around my age, share my interests, are adventurous, are or need a good shoulder to sob on, are open-minded have the qualities in #5 of "The most private thing I'm willing to put here is:", would like to go to golden gates, shampoo, or somewhere else to, (as a double date) dance, eat, and chill in the later hours of the night or even just for a quick bite to eat (too late for dating cuz I've already found a perfect guy for myself :P But as friends would be great!). Hell, message me if you read my profile at all... that's a feat in itself. (Contrary to popular belief (at this point) I don't like to write a lot. I don't have live journal (or etc.) so I put my info here cuz this site is not very popular and my page is not as easily accessed. I write my info here so that the person who wants to meet me knows what s/he is getting themself into and so I don't meet any more disgustingly stupid people). Thank you and goodbye, you guys were great!