FatSlob1000
36 Ocean Grove, NJ
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
FatSlob1000
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
1/3 Gandhi, 1/3 James Bond, and 1/3 Curly from the Three Stooges. Born and raised in New York and recently relocated for business. I direct for the stage, have written comedy for douches in Hollywood, and I own a Weight Loss company in the Bay Area. Someone has to pay the bills. I’m passionate about all kinds of art, but the iphone? Not so much. I mean I have one of course, but I ridicule it when it’s not looking. I can’t get to bed before 3:00am, my little sister calls me “the vampire.”

I'm attracted to people who are real (and don't need to assure you they are), artists, travelers, emotional terrorists, vagabonds who are more concerned with living and helping people, rather than judging them and worrying what the masses think of them. Free spirits and revolutionaries who like to smash old ideas turn me on.

People who describe themselves as outdoorsy bore the crap out of me. I love the ocean as much as the next guy and I love living on the beach, but f&*ck the outdoors. Nothing good ever happens outdoors. Did you see Grizzly Man for God’s sake? Museums, great restaurants, the cinema, the opera and my wiener are all indoors.
What I’m doing with my life
Awkward boner moments in yoga class. Hanging out with my "The Dragon" way too much and letting him talk me into this horrendous idea of online dating. Living in Oakland. Running a business and hanging out with my amazing English puppy Larry. He heals me deep down, where I'm sexy.
I’m really good at
Yelling at cab drivers, and taking care of that "thing" you needed.
The first things people usually notice about me
People? What people? This is a crazy question. I have season tickets to the ballet, so if your one of the ballerinas the first thing you notice is me crying to La Bayader in the box seats. If your some WASPY corporate weasel the first thing you might notice is my smoldering disdain for you and all that you stand for. Or my tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Vonnegut, Garfield the Cat, Notes from the Underground

Film: In the Mood for Love, Wong Kar Wai, Blue, The Wild Strawberries, Raging Bull, The Pope of Greenwich Village, Once Upon A Time in America, A Prophet, Sex and Lucia

Jazz. Big Band. Sinatra. Coltrane. Chet Baker. Thelonious Monk. Tony Bennett. Rage Against The Machine. Beastie Boys.

Italian. Thai. Indian
The six things I could never do without
Films
Coffee
My beaded, pearl g-string
Family
Breakfast on the terrace
Charlie Parker
Larry
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The Beard in Cuba. Why hasn't anyone whacked The Beard? It doesn't make any sense.
On a typical Friday night I am
Crying in the fetal position.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I punched Mickey Rourke at the Thompson Hotel in 2009. He deserved it. Believe me.
You should message me if
You know who peed on The Dude's rug?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wu598ENenk
More