1/3 Gandhi, 1/3 James Bond, and 1/3 Curly from the Three Stooges.
Born and raised in New York and recently relocated for business. I
direct for the stage, have written comedy for douches in Hollywood,
and I own a Weight Loss company in the Bay Area. Someone has to pay
the bills. I’m passionate about all kinds of art, but the iphone?
Not so much. I mean I have one of course, but I ridicule it when
it’s not looking. I can’t get to bed before 3:00am, my little
sister calls me “the vampire.”
I'm attracted to people who are real (and don't need to assure you
they are), artists, travelers, emotional terrorists, vagabonds who
are more concerned with living and helping people, rather than
judging them and worrying what the masses think of them. Free
spirits and revolutionaries who like to smash old ideas turn me
People who describe themselves as outdoorsy bore the crap out of
me. I love the ocean as much as the next guy and I love living on
the beach, but f&*ck the outdoors. Nothing good ever happens
outdoors. Did you see Grizzly Man for God’s sake? Museums, great
restaurants, the cinema, the opera and my wiener are all indoors.
What I’m doing with my life
Awkward boner moments in yoga class. Hanging out with my "The
Dragon" way too much and letting him talk me into this horrendous
idea of online dating. Living in Oakland. Running a business and
hanging out with my amazing English puppy Larry. He heals me deep
down, where I'm sexy.
I’m really good at
Yelling at cab drivers, and taking care of that "thing" you needed.
The first things people usually notice about me
People? What people? This is a crazy question. I have season
tickets to the ballet, so if your one of the ballerinas the first
thing you notice is me crying to La Bayader in the box seats. If
your some WASPY corporate weasel the first thing you might notice
is my smoldering disdain for you and all that you stand for. Or my
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Vonnegut, Garfield the Cat, Notes from the Underground
Film: In the Mood for Love, Wong Kar Wai, Blue, The Wild
Strawberries, Raging Bull, The Pope of Greenwich Village, Once Upon
A Time in America, A Prophet, Sex and Lucia
Jazz. Big Band. Sinatra. Coltrane. Chet Baker. Thelonious Monk.
Tony Bennett. Rage Against The Machine. Beastie Boys.
Italian. Thai. Indian
The six things I could never do without
My beaded, pearl g-string
Breakfast on the terrace
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The Beard in Cuba. Why hasn't anyone whacked The Beard? It doesn't
make any sense.
On a typical Friday night I am
Crying in the fetal position.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I punched Mickey Rourke at the Thompson Hotel in 2009. He deserved
it. Believe me.