Hello. (I thought about it for a long time but I still think that was the best way to start.)

I'm a sports fan who thinks the Framley Examiner is the greatest thing in the history of all things.

Working at a school in Hull doing a combination of teaching and mentoring.

I also commentate on ice hockey matches. Games are broadcast online and it's my job to explain what's happening.

I tell the truth. This is usually a good quality but unfortunately this sometimes descends into 'speak first, deal with the consequences later' and that's doesn't always make life easy. Still, honesty is the best policy. It's certainly better than lying.

I say "Don't panic - there'll be plenty of time for that later" more than is really necessary.

I mainly listen to Fountains Of Wayne and I recommend that you do too. If you look beyond Stacy's Mom you'll find some pretty good stuff. I'm generally an indie/rock type although the more I listen to dance/trance stuff the more I like it. I'm not sure if this is a positive development in my tastes or not.

Speaking of taste, you can't go wrong with a ham sandwich. Unless you put mayonnaise or mustard on it.

I'm the only person I know who's ever had croissant on toast. Try it for yourself. Don't just dismiss it as being "too dry" or "just bread", it's a delight that everyone should sample. Also recommended:
* Bread on toast
* Toast sandwich
* Banana pizzas

* Laughter. A world where people don't laugh is a very sad world indeed. Literally.
* Internet. I don't know if you've noticed or not but it's really good. There's loads of stuff on it nowadays.
* Books. I don't read as much as I should but I always like to have a book around, just in case.
* My car stereo. I can't drive unless there's some music or the radio on.
* My keys. I feel completely lost without my house/car keys on me.
* Lie ins. If I have to be up at 7am then I'll wake up at 6am and lie in for an hour. (I should really stop doing this because I'm still tired when I get up. I'm not really lying in, I'm just sleeping less, but it's the principle of the lie in that I like.)

To be honest, I wouldn't pay too much attention to this list. A few years ago I'd have put 'Golden Grahams cereal' on it but I've coped ok since they stopped being sold in the UK. Although if they stop selling Kellogg's Start as well I might be in trouble.

(Apparently you can still get Golden Grahams. Just not anywhere within a 50 mile radius of where I live.)

I'm usually contemplating stuff that other people dismiss as nonsense. For example, why don't we allow companies to sponsor the moon and give the money to charity?

Seriously, why not? Let's say Coca-Cola want to sponsor it and rename it the Coca-Cola Moon. They pay a few million for the rights for a year of sponsorship and the money goes to charities all over the world. Some can go to disaster relief funds, some to projects in Africa and Asia where this money would be invaluable. If all we have to do to help thousands, maybe millions, around the globe is call it the Coca-Cola Moon for a bit then that's fine by me. I'd rather big businesses put their profits into solar sponsorship than an extension on Mr Chief Executive's gold mansion.

On this particular Friday night I'm here, filling this in. Usually though I'm with my mates.

I once said "If you gave me the option of a lapdance or a ham sandwich right now I know which one I'd choose."

You should message me if you want to say things like "Hello", "How are you?" and "Are those purple-tinted sunglasses you're wearing in your profile picture?" If your message doesn't say any of those things, then I just hope it makes me smile.