Disclaimer: I'm very sarcastic by nature. While I can be serious, I'm not serious by nature. If you are incapable of interpreting sarcasm, easily offended, or otherwise thin-skinned, you probably want to stop right here.

Also, if you lack common-sense, or common values(such as honesty), you'd also do well to cease at this point of my profile. I'm bluntly honest(though I do have tact, when needed), and expect others to be the same.

I will say, I'm rather shocked and appalled at some of the accepted behavior of some within OKC. Such as someone who's 'respected' for their insight and hardwork with helping others with their profiles getting away with stating within the first couple paragraphs of their own profile that they are openly deceitful(lying) about themselves in their profile. Their justification that everyone does it, so that it's okay, is disgusting, at the least. Not everyone lies. But it speaks loads about such people that they assume their behavior is acceptable, and even 'normal'.

About me? I'm honest, and not just when it's convenient. Those who know me well would also say I'm cautious, and even paranoid. I can be mildly manic, or extremely silly, but generally reserved.

Planning on taking over the world.*malevolent laugh*

Torturing the weak. Self-destructing.

In actuality, I've a host of talents, with experience to back them up. I give a good massage. I'm not talking backrub, I'm talking professional, get on my table, massage. Yes, I went to school. Yes, I graduated. No, I've not bothered to take the test to get certified(though am reconsidering).

Blowing smoke rings. Well, vapor rings, since I nolonger 'smoke'(I went over to an e-cigarette and have been quit with tobacco, and all the inherent health and odor issues that went with it since the end of April)

Making inappropriate jokes. Putting bad images into people's minds. the list goes on, and on.

That I look them in the eyes, and am probably smiling.

Dr. Seuss(the extent of my reading abilities)

Anything where people are naked. Or war movies. gotta love war movies.

I've been on a bit of a Eagles kick, lately. Steve Miller, and a few others of that era, as well. But really, I can listen to almost anything. Almost.

If it didn't have a pulse at some point, or isn't super-processed and full of MSG, Nitrates, and Sodium, I won't touch it.

Rosie Palmer and her five merry friends.

You really don't want to know what goes through my mind. It's not the sorta neighborhood you park your car in after the streetlights come on, so to speak.

Being a very bad, bad, person.

I help support working single moms.

You understood that alot of the stuff in my profile is non-serious in nature.(not untrue, but not serious). You wish to get to know me better.

You're a female who made it this far, isn't afraid(maybe even mildly aroused), and would like to hang out(with my girlfriend and myself, we're currently interviewing for thirds)

You want to volunteer to be tattooed(I'm apprenticed, need more experience).

You want to participate in a game of Dungeons and Dragons, and live or can commute to the Frederick area.

You're not an officer of the law, or if so, are currently off-duty.

Seriously, if you made it this far in my profile, and you're not perving me for fodder for something I said in the forums, you should probably message me, because it's a sign that we'll probably get along. I felt a vibe while you were reading this, didn't you? :)