"My life until now lies somewhere between a debilitating case of Stockholm syndrome, and a series of painful injections directly into my spine. But in a good way. You know, like syringefuls of love."

The above quote will probably remain part of my profile until this site becomes obsolete, simply for its nostalgic value to me. I like to look back fondly on a time when I was still young and glib.

You'll notice from my photos that I'm building things out of mud and milking a cow, but it's been over a year since I did the latter, and 2.5 years since I did the former. *The mud-building picture is missing. I am trying to find it and will repost later*

Part of my personal philosophy can be summed up in a quote from Cyril Connolly: "Optimism and self-pity are the positive and negative poles of modern cowardice." To quote my mom, 'What the hell does that mean?'
It means, to me, that blindly believing the best is a refusal to face the reality of a situation, and self-pity is a dreary solipsism. Both are ways of avoiding having to deal with the messy details of what you can do, and what you are responsible for.

*After messaging someone, the okcupid bot advised me thus:
"Here is a helpful hint…
Edit your profile so ***** is more likely to reply"
There's a self-esteem boost for you. Thanks, okcupid bot, you black-hearted, pixel-eyed jerk.

Back in school with the dorm-dwellers in an honest-to-god university here in Albany, studying biology. Evo-devo.

I still think about running away and joining another commune. That's worked well for me in the past. I lived in a kibbutz in Israel for six months, and in a community down near the NY-NJ border (where the milking featured in my photos took place) for a year, and those were some of the most fulfilling moments of my life.

being vague.

No, seriously. Infuriating people with my vagueness. Making people laugh with my directness. Shocking people with my sarcasm. I don't really understand how the latter two work. I think my sarcasm is funny and my directness isn't intentionally humorous. Dead-pan delivery is apparently less of an asset with the trusting, doe-eyed masses than previously implied.
And, just to be very clear, when I say sarcasm, I don't mean some ham-fisted illogical twist on the obvious before giggling demurely and batting my eyelashes. I commit. For example, let's say we're in a bar, and some lucky gentleman offers to buy me a drink. Here's what I *don't* say: "No thanks, I just came in here to get out of the rain," or, "Well, I don't know, can you?"
It goes something like this:
"Well, it depends. Whip it out."
"Huh?"
"Whip it out."
"Whip- what?"
"Your dick. You're obviously trying to pick me up, and I think it's only fair to you that I tell you up front whether I'll go home with you or not. So I need to see what you're packing."
This may give you some insight into why I don't "date" much.

I also crochet.

Frankly, I have no idea. I've tried asking people and they don't know either. Usually people just assume they've known me forever. I'm the one who'll say "Hey, remember the first time we met?" And they respond something along the lines of "Uh...no, not really." I was told once that someone's first impression of me was that I was a "miserable cow" with "a face like a slapped bottom," and also that "when I first met you, I asked 'does she hate me for some reason?' But then I realized that you just have a wicked sense of humor, and that you're awesome." Both of these individuals are now close friends of mine.
I think it's because I tend to stay quiet until I have something worth saying, and someone worth saying it to. The things worth knowing about me aren't going to be obvious to the casual observer, and I'm comfortable with that.

Authors: Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Amy Tan, Marilyn French, Margaret Atwood, Jane Austen, Richard Dawkins, Matt Ridley, Honore de Balzac, George Bernard Shaw, Betty Smith, Somerset Maugham, Milan Kundera, Anais Nin

Movies: The Philadelphia Story, Duck Soup, Lifeboat, Kung Fu Hustle, The Fall, The Lion in Winter, It's a Wonderful Life, Little Miss Sunshine, Doubt
... I recently saw Broken Blossoms, and it was one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen. It makes me wonder what D.W. Griffith would do with himself as a filmmaker today.

Music: The Beatles, The Who, Janis Joplin, David Bowie, The Decemberists, The Magnetic Fields, Sam Cooke, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Gilbert & Sullivan. I was a big musical theatre geek in high school, and my evil older-sister super powers helped warp my four younger siblings into an ensemble cast. We do a mean rendition of "Jesus Christ, Super Star"

Food: Grilled eel, sushi, lamb nilgiri korma & naan, dim sum, raw oysters, fresh fruit, especially cherries, Anna's Taqueria carnitas burrito, pralines, chai & TimTams

This list is actually more appropriately titled, "The six things I've felt the loss of in recent days:"

A good book
Singing to myself
A support network of friends and family
A good night's sleep
A means of escaping humidity
Wikipedia

what's going to happen over the next few months, years, etc.
Evolution.
Why I thought "Latin" would be a good compromise when I couldn't decide what foreign language to take.
Why so many usernames on this site contain the word "taco."

studying. I spend most of my time studying these days, because I am pathetic when it comes to organic chemistry.
Sometimes I take breaks to daydream about the good times I had in Israel, when every Friday night was pub night, and we would dance ourselves stupid. Someday, I'll have that again.

My abnormal psych professor required his class to take the enneagramatic personality exam, and while I hated him, and by extension the class, I did find it to be a pretty fair assessment of my personality. I'm a Type 5, which means that my basic desire is to be capable and competent, and my basic fear is to be useless, helpless or incapable. This is why I found my time in communities so fulfilling: I was capable and competent at everything I did. In fact, I was often the go-to girl. I was able to do just about anything that needed to be done, and do it well, and in a community, what needs to be done can change from day to day, or even hour to hour, so that's saying a lot. It's also why I'm so frustrated with my curriculum. I changed majors from the humanities, with which I am very capable, to the sciences, with which I am struggling.

you like what you read in this profile. That should be obvious.

What might not be so obvious is how awesome you are. Let me know.

Caveat, though: If you contact me, I have a strict friends-first policy. Nevertheless, I may flirt with you. I flirt with friends, both male and female, on a constant basis. This is because I am flirtatious by nature, and I enjoy it. It is not because I am sitting at home nights, lying on my bed with my feet on the headboard, gabbing on the phone to my girlfriends about how dreamy you are and wondering whether I'd rather have a summer or winter wedding.
I can't believe I even had to clarify that. Sheesh.