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Fenchurch42

33 / F / Bisexual / Single

Lawrence, Kansas

Her Details

Last Online
Jun 9
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m).
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Capricorn and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of college/university
Job
Other
Income
Less than $20,000
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Sign Language (Okay), French (Poorly), Arabic (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Just your basic philosophical wanderer, anarchistic commie/pinko, quiet field explorer, local food and wine appreciator. A hard nut to crack, but with a creamy center.

I've completed 4+ years of college and don't yet have a degree to show for it. My friends either seem to be disillusioned with mainstream higher education and pursuing meaningful manual labor, working on graduate degrees, or engaged in social work; I'm sitting on the fence and trying to figure out a good reason to go in any particular direction. Thus far I've studied architecture, spanish, biology, secondary education, and social work. I have this idea for a 'Da Vinci degree' where I go to school for the next decade and emerge with a good understanding of pretty much every useful subject there is from early childhood development to geologic engineering. There's a lot to be said for focus, completion, and career, though, and I'm trying to pin that down in my own way. I love building meaningfully with others, but I'm resolved to begin the journey toward what I want on my own, so I'm starting with the basic fundraising (read: wage slavery) right now. Also, I live in a co-op, and that helps.

I've been using the benefits of buddhist spiritual thought to improve my life since as far back as I can remember (even while raised by fundamentalist evangelical christians), but I consider myself an agnostic atheist most of the time while not denying emergent properties of a dynamic and largely unknown universe. Being present and open to accepting the truths of your own subjective experience are just plain good ideas. I hang out with pagans because they're awesome and know all the best camping & skinny-dipping sites. I've been dabbling in tarot while simultaneously recognizing how much the deeply secular skeptic in me finds it ridiculous. Simply put, I feel deeply and passionately, but I also think my first priority is to think rationally, and I wish everyone felt that way. The practice of scientific investigation is the single best skill anyone can learn, regardless of whether or not you feel the need to make scientific proof the foundation for everything you believe. I think a little balance is good there. In one hand I hold complete belief; in the other, complete doubt. Somewhere in the middle is humanity.

I have a silly/slapstick and morbid sense of humor. Seriously - sometimes all you can do is laugh or else you'd cry. I laugh easily at my and other people's lovable foibles, and some people experience this as criticism or self-deprecation. And it is, in a gentle, completely ignorable kind of way. Anyway, I'll laugh at your little oddities so, please, try not to be offended. Let's get together for some good-natured ribbing and necking.

I walk, ride my bike, & take the bus pretty much everywhere; that lifestyle is awesome, and I prefer people who do that, or are willing to do that at least on & off. There's a lot to be said for weather-appropriate gear. I believe public transportation should be available within a 5-block radius, 24/7/365, and with a maximum 30 minute wait-time: right after health care & education, public transportation should be one of our major concerns. And in tandem with all that, we really need to look at housing. And clearly, employment. Really, it's a long to-do list.

More often than not, I fall head over heels for intellectual people who work with their hands. Especially if they're unpretentious, kind, and honest. If I run across someone digging around in their car's engine with, say, a book of poetry or something by Asimov, Krishnamurti, or Bell Hooks hanging out of their back pocket, I will be magnetically pulled on a supra-conscious level to that person by a metaphysical rope that tethers simultaneously around my brain, heart, and groin. If there are tomatoes growing in the yard, dogs cats & kids around, and a friend with a banjo nearby, I think we're just gonna have to get marrXXX. uh. something.

I'm not very tight with my family [a religiously and socially 'estranged' sort of situation], though I try my best to maintain some contact and connection there, especially with my sister and her kids. For the past few years I've been building a make-my-own family of close friends, and there are a few I love dearly even if, with a broken frame of reference, it can be hard to understand what the trust-bond between us is. I don't have a history as a social butterfly, but I do push myself to be friendly & involved in a few large circles of acquaintances and friends to keep me interested & out there meeting people, some of whom I'm able to have meaningful conversations with, which is really what it's all about. Well, that and building things together. Having faith in individual humans is well worth the effort.

I crochet, sew, knit, create visual art, cook, and am generally crafty.
I used to take notes for the Coalition for Homeless Concerns, but work prevents that now, so I just act as Secretary for my local co-op board. Same idea; bigger budget.
I dance to the Go-Gos, Buddy Holly, Al Green, and the B-52s. or whatever's on.
I love to sing, sometimes seriously in my good singing voice, sometimes seriously goofball like I'm a children's show host.
I am handy with plumbing and mechanically inclined. (I can haz math.)
I do *not* have a 0.7 WHR.
Yes, I am chubby. I am also active.
I show up for rallies for Fair Food and lgBT issues.
I'm usually smiling if there's a reason to, and my laughter is contagious.
I loathe unnecessary drama.
I participate in urban & organic farming/gardening projects, and I'm working toward a time when I will grow most or all of my own food.
I shop at the local farmer's market & buy my milk from the lady who put it in the jar.
I collaborate on community projects and discussions whenever I can.
I appreciate honest feedback; it spawns growth & development!
Nonverbal communication is my favorite form of communication, but it does leave some room for confusion.
I adore bonfires.
I think the concept of purity is bull-shit, unless we're talking about water.

Also, should you care, I am: sun/moon/mercury in 25/04/22 degrees capricorn, scorpio rising (uranus also in 24 degrees scorpio), venus 00 degrees in pisces, mars/jupiter/capricorn in 15/09/26 degrees virgo...and a few other things. Let me restate: it's only because I am so open-minded that I buy into any of this hokum-pokum at all. Oh, look at me; I am *so* open-minded. Nany-nany-boo-boo.

The quintessential bridge-gapper, student of synthesis. I am the gatekeeper; are you the keymaster?

I am incredibly feminine and exploratory in an intimate setting, and I think there's a lot more to enjoy physically than just what happens between someone's legs. I like lazy mornings in bed, sunshine streaming through the windows, cuddling & making out, talking about everything from jellyfish to Aristotle. And strategic tickling. then napping. As with anything else, it is possible to get satiated on this, at which point I often like to read or get outdoors. I like playing cards & board games and anything interactive. A friend started up a Star Wars role-playing game (all girls!) but then had to move to the other end of the country, so I'd definitely be up for something like that again. Yay collective story-telling! I’m actively turned off by excessive video-game playing, but I'm a total hypocrite here because I'll spend hours online at a time sometimes. Nerd. dork. geek. dweeb. :)

As far as friends go, I can handle just about any personal philosophy that is egalitarian, values liberty, and allows for change. Intimate friends & partners and I will have a few more specific values in common. The ability to agree to disagree on some things is powerful, and I can have complex conversations more easily than most. “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.” – Marie Curie

Okay, nearing the end here, but thought I should mention a few more things:
I'm a serious feminist. That doesn't mean I want to burn my bras or that I judge anyone simply because of their genitalia, but I do expect you to realize that sex and gender are different things and all options are valid. I think about what it means when you hold the door open for me or when one of us doesn't speak up or whether or not I choose to wear makeup on one occasion or another, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. My feminism takes on more of a humanist approach [3rd wave, or after], and goes far beyond just fighting for women.
"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute." - Rebecca West
“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” – Lilla Watson

Expanding on that idea, I don't generally shave my legs or other areas women are apparently "supposed to." I am neither a child nor a reptile - mammals have hair, especially noticeable in the adult stage. And mine's super soft and cozy..mmm. Love your body.

Okay, enough about me; here's where you hopefully come in:
I'm looking for mature, intimate relationships, regardless of whether that's for friendship, love, or sex. Mature people understand that it's okay to be a big kid: swingsets, trampolines, and making funny faces are not just the domain of 8 year-olds. If you understand consent and don't think jealousy is romantic, I'd like to meet you. Take your time, enjoy the scenery, and try to be friends first & foremost. I like to explore and experience the world, so please do not message me if little things 'freak you out' all the time or you frequently use the phrase "I am afraid of/scared by..." to describe infantile/ignorant aversions to food, animals, or other things that disrupt your comfort bubble. I value both testing my limits and breathing easily.

More specifically, I enjoy open-minded, progressive, thoughtfully engaged people who move actively somewhat regularly. I also like earthy and kind, but like Anne of Green Gables said "I wouldn't want [to be with] somebody really wicked, but I think I'd like it if [they] could be wicked, and wouldn't.” A little mischief is good. Introspective &/or metacognitive are necessary tools for conversation, but life just wouldn't be as fun without a healthy dose of 'shooting the shit,' so hopefully you are equally adept at both.

I consider myself pansexual/omnisexual/pomosexual, so I don't care what sex you are. (Please, please, don't ask me if I'm here primarily to meet men or women; there *are* stupid questions.) I'm attracted to gently masculine and sensually maternal people. I'm somewhere between polyamorous and a "serial monogamist" - how a relationship works out is always open for discussion so, come on, let's discuss it.

I’m a hugger – are you?
-------------------------

Hola! Necessito practicar mi Español. Quieres ayudame? Trece años de la lenguaje, mas o menos, pero nadie con practicar. Vees? y me gusta bailar! les gusta? Si, soy una gringa, pero puedo baile, verdad!

Tambien, me gusta los artes, musica, libros, y muchas cosas afueras. Amo mi bicicleta. Quiero viajar mas.
What I’m doing with my life
figuring it out. living it. working. napping when possible. looking for someone to share a long conversation, walk, hug, or kiss with. engaging myself in a community meeting most other people wouldn't subject themselves to.
I’m really good at
farting 'A' papers out my ass. eclectic interior design. thinking. grammar, punctuation, and spelling. just being my own eccentric self at the oddest times. figuring it out. dissecting arguments. seeing through fear. enduring things long past the point I should quit. jamming sticks & pipes into the gears of life. re-evaluating. militant biking & growing things. making people laugh without meaning to. fitting a lot of layers under a coat. using more words when you'd rather have less, and fewer words when you were expecting more. amateur etymology.
The first things people usually notice about me
Fuck, I don't know. Definitely depends on the person.

("We'll see what you're made of by what you make of me." -Ani DiFranco)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(A) I read A LOT. Right now I'm reading "Salt: A World History." Other books currently in the works: God & Sex, A People's History of the United States, PrairyErth..and a few more. Recently read and loved: Blue Highways, Beloved, The Stone Gods. If you haven't read them, I'd recommend The Ethical Slut and Sex for One.

(B) Fuck. I like a lot of movies. Lots of old films: Cleopatra, The Philadelphia Story, Hitchcock films, and nearly anything with Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Irene Dunn, Jimmy Stewart, Ava Gardner, or Sidney Poitier. Doris Day and Jack Lemmon are hilarious. I also like older westerns, but mostly because they're funny. I'm into 'Period' films, which some people would rather rip their eyelashes out than watch. I think the show 'Mad Men' is the best thing to happen to TV since PBS. Movies I own include: The Bear, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Gosford Park, A Room with a View, Boys Don't Cry, Lars and the Real Girl, The Big Lebowski, The Animatrix, How the Garcia Girls Spent their Summer, and Diabolique, plus I stumbled across these two Johnny Cash films at Walgreens for $1 - seriously, you should see these things...both awesome and intensely funny.

(C) anything I can dance to including bluegrass and 80's pop. most things with thoughtful lyrics and acoustic guitar. Politically relevant music, especially underground rap & hip-hop. The junk in my trunk loves to funk. Soul & old Motown. I also happen to like opera and ambient-trance new age. I can easily be drawn into a drum circle. Lately, I've had a lot of Leonard Cohen on the brain.

(D) Yes, I like food. Most of it. McDonald's doesn't technically qualify. I have a kitchen for a reason. Hooray for international food stores and farmer's markets! Have you tried Thai Siam's curry or tofu pad thai? YUM. Also: Raw Whole Milk is the way to go.
The six things I could never do without
the great outdoors, sleep, nutritious food & clean water, fires, hugs, & intimate conversation. I'd prefer internet access too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
People and the future. How I can go about becoming the next Thomas Paine or Leonardo Da Vinci minus, y'know, the penis. Or maybe with the penis! :P Free-floating in space. Animals and if any more of them on this planet will ever become fully sentient. That 'religious' does not necessarily equal 'bigot,' but the disturbing number of times both labels equally apply to people. Whether or not I will be a good parent, or if I will end up being a parent at all. Red paisley. What I'd think of me if I met me, and if I would immediately recognize myself. Cosmic entropy, and if this whole human condition is worth it. Language. Rolling around in bed & kissing someone I have great affection for. Breasts. Hips. Lips. Hardwood floors. Why people can't just be more rational and less traditional, or even just more creative. That friend who lives overseas, or across town, or on the coast. Combinations of the colors green & blue. Sometimes just green by itself. The phospholipid bilayer makeup of membranes. If guys I like will ever get past the fact that, yes, I look & come off like a dyke & this is because, yes, I sort of am one and, no, that is not supposed to in any way emasculate you. Gorgeous red hair and deep turquoise eyes. Men riding bikes without shirts. Population economics and natural selection. Hauntingly beautiful songs and images. Dark brown velvet. Curves, lines, and graphing paper. Colored sharpies. What the deal is with cops and other people with obvious control issues who are given dangerous levels of power. Focusing on my breath. If at any given moment, I am being the best, most true-to-myself-and-others version of me I can be. If, when I'm thinking about someone I've felt strong connection with, they might be thinking about me too and, if so, if it's possible that doing so forms intense pockets of energy, or wavelengths, or little wormholes in the fabric of a spiritual world, or just static electricity. Just being happy with life. Half-thinking in Spanish (or french or italian or japanese or..) If there is any way to effectively find other sapiosexuals. What the birds are saying.
On a typical Friday night I am
relaxing. That could mean anything, and is probably dependent on:
(1) finances
(2) weather
(3) social appetite

My interests are diverse. Suggest something.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I kinda like smelly armpits. Not all the time, just more often than you'd think.

and I pretty much always burn that first piece of french toast.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 26–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
You should message me if
*If you fit the description of who I'm looking for. *If you think I'd be fun to talk to AND you are fun to talk to & able to hold your own in a conversation. (Don't message me because you're bored. I am not here solely for your entertainment.) *If you feel like it, and you trust that feeling. *If you like getting out for concerts/shows, movies, exhibits, bike rides, or anything in that vein and would like to do that with me. *If, when you decide you need a new pair of boots, jeans, curtains, what-have-you, your first thought is to go to a thrift store, and not because it's "cool" or "hip" but because, dear god, why would you go buy something crappy and new when there are perfectly good things available for $0.50? *If you have a random survey question you'd like my answer for. *If you actually read this entire page beginning to end before looking at my pictures page. [in which case, you deserve some sort of medal.] (*If you actually started singing 'picture pages, pictures pages, it's time to get your picture pages...' either in your head or under your breath after that last sentence) *If you're feeling happy, laid-back, open, & a little like cuddling up to someone and would enjoy being around someone else who's feeling the same. *If you've noticed me noticing your profile a few times and are ready to break the ice. *If you practice good oral hygiene, like making out, find me attractive, live nearby, and we have a match percentage of 80% or higher. *If you sort of know me and thought we've ever had 'a moment.' *If you aren't intimidated by my power or afraid of my vulnerability, have no desire to break me or fence me in, and expect the same in return. *If you are an open, accepting person. *If you can sit quietly with someone and enjoy it.

Oh, and if you're a friend or a friend of a friend, always go ahead and message me.

** you should NOT message me if all of your favorite authors are white european/u.s.a./australian/etc men unless you're looking for suggestions for what to read next.