I am a barbarian and I like to pretend to be able to speak Norwegian.

I'm a musician and I want to do that for the rest of my life and also I would like to be rich. So honestly I'd better start considering other lines of work than music.

I work as a security guard and a bouncer and I busk with my accordion.

Ideally, fairly soon I'm going to go back to college and take Russian and maybe a few other languagues. I'd like to rediscover German as well, as useless as German has proven to be in the past to know.

lucid dreaming, playing the accordion, casting runes, remembering things from when I was drunk, I dunno, lots of things.

My axe, the deranged stare in my ice-blue eyes, the collection of mystical amulets designed to protect me from trolls that hang off various parts of my body, the woad smeared on my face and dripping down through my unkempt beard and also the super swag shades I'm sporting.

BOOKS:
Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
Watership Down by Douglas Adams
The Gammage Cup by Carol Kendall
The Worm Ouroboros by ER Eddison.
If I listed any more we'd be here all day.

MOVIES:
The Dark Knight, Watchmen, Spiderman, Nosferatu, Rambo, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Hot Fuzz, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Braveheart, Conan the Barbarian (/the Destroyer), The Ghouls, The Princess Bride, The Goonies, most zombie movies. Probably more but I'm tired of listing things.

MUSIC:
Man where do I start with music. How about I don't. I'm listening to metal right now. I play with my dad in a country band. I'm learning several classical pieces for fun. I loudly sing along to Irish music in the car and I don't care WHO'S in it with me.

FOOD:
White Spot!

I dunno, hamburgers maybe?

I want to be a businessman and have stocks and a portfolio someday. That, or just wear a suit and walk around town telling people I'm a businessman with stocks and a portfolio. Inside my portfolio will be one piece of paper with the word 'stocks' written on it. Everyone will believe me and think that I am a high-powered tax consultant for a mega-corporation.

Working, mostly. But that's not very interesting. Maybe playing video games, but that's not very interesting either. Maybe stumbling home drunk singing Irish folk tunes, but that's a little embarassing. Maybe walking around pretending to be a businessman. That's interesting, but kind of retarded. Can I skip this section?

I think hygene is overrated. Not to say I walk around dirty and smelly, but I really dislike having to put a bunch of product on myself to impress strangers who I might have to walk past at some point in the day. I'll do it anyway, but I secretly resent every moment I'm around someone and they're not offended by how I smell and look. I wanna go back in time and get the bubonic plague from not washing but nobody would care because they all have it too.

Maybe not actually.

- You're a one-eyed old man with a raven on each shoulder and wolves underfoot with some wisdom to impart unto me.

- You're a businessman. I need to meet more businessmen. I don't even like business, I just like businessmen. I want to know more of them so I can shake their hands professionally and discuss stocks or RRSPs or some other business type things.

- You're a drummer. I need one.