I've recently been able to articulate this. I don't have traditional feelings about romance.
I want to have dates with people without attached expectations of romance or sex. I want to go on these dates without these assumptions, so that we are free to have intimacy and sex during our dates if we feel like it, with our thoughts Present. I want to share physical intimacy without expectations of Romantical Progression -- I want kisses to be kisses shared for the purpose of enjoying sharing kisses. I don't want kisses for the purpose of gaining implied consent for more intense physical contact.
I want to flirt without fear, and be present. I want to feel free to negotiate things when they occur.
Trust is a turn-on, skill at personal boundaries doubly so. I like to form relationships and friendships with people who are interested in intentional communication.
Talking about talking is important to me. I'm interested in feminism, negotiation, boundaries, occupying and sharing space, calling out, agency. I feel accountable to work on my shit. I like people who know and love their boundaries, who know the shape of their being. This is precious to me. Meanwhile, I often find myself holding back out of either respect for good consent, or anxiety; the line between which is difficult to parse. It's really helpful if my potential partners can be clear. I like that.
I like kissing. I like to bite, scratch, mark, etc. Power dynamics are fun, but not necessary. I'm Feygon on Fetlife. I switch.
My style of dating is on the easy going, homey side--movies, cooking, board games, tea, walks through town to familiar quiet places holding hands, and good sex of all kinds in all kinds of places. I don't plan much, unless it's needed for scheduling; I prefer to just be present and have fun. I like when candles and/or music and/or food are involved, whatever we do. Also, I could cuddle the shit out of a You.
I am polyamorous. I often have multiple partners, some of whom often may have other partners than me. I use barrier methods, try to discuss boundaries early and often, and inform everyone who needs to know when anything changes. I have received the Gardasil shot.
Queer culture and polyamory are an important part of my politics. The freedom to love who and how I want is the greatest freedom. Alliance with deaf culture is also important to me.
I'm a pirate in the SCA, a Steampunk/Atherkellian LARPer and a newcomer to Wolf Creek Sanctuary! ILY Queers!