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33 Beaverton, OR Genderqueer


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24-48
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 24
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 3" (1.91m)
Body Type
Used up
Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English, Spanish (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*Trans Inclusive*

I'm Feygon (in Civ & on Fetlife too), and I'm polyamorous genderqueer. My pronouns are they/them/their, or for capable folks, fey/fem/fer.

I value self-awareness in myself and others. Queer people are delightfully self-aware. I really dislike performative-gendered interactions. I currently live with my anchor partner, and have no other major amorous partners, though a few sweeties.

The main feature of the way I do polyamory is that it is important to me that people be friends with the partner I live with. Community is important to me.

I've recently been able to articulate this:
I don't have traditional feelings about romance. I've come to appreciate using the word 'amorous' to describe feelings of desire, love, commitment, etc., instead of 'romantic'.
I want to have dates with people without attached expectations of romance or sex.

I want to go on these dates without these assumptions, so that we are free to have intimacy and sex during our dates if we feel like it, with our thoughts Present. I want to share physical intimacy without expectations of Romantical Progression -- I want to share kisses for the purpose of enjoying sharing kisses. I don't want kisses as a stepping stone to more intense physical contact. Same goes for cuddles.

I want to flirt without fear, and be present. I want to feel free to negotiate things when they occur. I like emotionally available people. I'm socially anxious, and learning how to feel more availably. I don't like codependency.

Trust is a turn-on, skill at personal boundaries doubly so. I like to form relationships and friendships with people who are interested in intentional communication.

Talking about talking is important to me. I'm interested in feminism, negotiation, boundaries, occupying and sharing space, calling out, agency, solidarity. I feel accountable to work on my shit. I like people who know and love their boundaries, who know the shape of their being. This is precious to me. I often find myself holding back out of anxiety. I fear doing harm. It's really helpful if my potential partners can be clear. I like that.

I like kissing. I like to bite, scratch, mark, breath play, etc. Power dynamics are fun, but not necessary. I switch. I like topping age & puppy play, and service subbing in other spaces. I'm Feygon on Fetlife.

My style of dating is on the easy going, homey side--movies, cooking, board games, tea, walks through town to familiar quiet places holding hands, and good sex of all kinds. I don't plan much, unless it's needed for scheduling; I prefer to just be present and have fun. I like when candles and/or music and/or food are involved, whatever we do. Also, I could cuddle the shit out of a You.

I am polyamorous. I often have multiple partners, some of whom often may have other partners than me. I use barrier methods, try to discuss boundaries early and often, and inform everyone who needs to know when anything changes. I have received the Gardasil shot.

Queer culture and polyamory are an important part of my politics and community. The freedom to love who and how I want is the greatest freedom. Alliance with deaf culture is also important to me.

I'm occasionally a pirate in the SCA, I have LARPed, and I'm a newcomer to Nomenus and Wolf Creek Sanctuary! ILY Queers!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
4 years ago last I graduated from OSU in theatre arts. Now I'm taking calls from home, and trying to grasp hold of this thing called routine.

Been living in BeaverTron for four years or so, near the Willow Creek transit center. I'm exited to be moving across town to Gresham, to my new place w/ a roommate and her sprog.

I want to see my friends more, to spend time with them just to share time and space and have good times. I am interested in knowing my boundaries during these interactions, and being present. It's hard not to think anxiously, y'know?

Also I'm spending some time on my shit. I have that stamp of existential need to understand what's wrong with the world and me and how I fit into it. I'm doing pretty well at the moment, figuring out (self-)gaslighting and how to hold my own boundaries, and move out of dysfunctional systems of control.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My size. I'm a big fuzzy teddy bear.
My long scottish highlander hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
When I look at other people's profiles, I usually only look at the movies and food. Update: I just realized I rarely even read this section of my OWN profile.

Books: The Death Gate Cycle, stuff I write, Michael Shurtleff, Douglas Adams, Les Feinberg, Orson Scott Card, Robert A Heinlein, Robert Johnson, Michel Foucault

Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Amelie, Darjeeling Limited, Garden State, Serenity, The Shape of Things, Company, Miyazaki, Everything is Illuminated, a billionty others -- there's just about no movie I hate, and I really enjoy watching train-wrecks, especially if the characters speak their subtext. Hah! I even watched Conagher not long ago because I love the cowboy in The Big Lebowski.

Rasputina, Stephen Sondheim, Bjork, Standup comedy tracks, Veruca Salt. Wow, 3 girl-bands and a musicals writer. Oh, and Tom Waits -- creamy, delectable Tom Waits. And Elvis Costello. There. Sealed.

photogenic food, Sushi (mushroom bomb!), Home-cooked meals with lovingly provided ingredients, FoodCartTopia!, and Free stuff (Youtube: The Skinning Song)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Creative Outlets (often lacking)
My cat, Coyote.
Tooth-brushing, even though it's scary as fuck.
Queer community
Someone to talk to intimately
Enablers of getting out of the house: Washer/Dryer, Car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Intellectual frameworks to describe the discoveries of life, like Quantum Metaphysical Theory. Also -- trying to learn

Intersectionality and how to amplify less privileged voices.

How best to be an ally to the queer community. I've strived for this for several years.
How people can decelerate and reverse cycles of codependency and abuse as they take root. imagination creates the universe, which in turn creates individuality through the focusing lens of time. (Having learned a lot about privilege in the last few years, this seems doubly true in some ways, and problematic or Woo Woo in others.

Kink. Sexy pain (giving and receiving, how it keeps me present), fantasies about puppy play (it's very fantasy-focused atm).
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Pursuing my art, dating wonderful new people, occasionally a drum circle. Or kissing. Lots of kissing. Mmm. Tasty tasty kissing. And cuddling. Lots of cuddling. These are what I want.

Some nights, it happens. Also, Karaoke.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I recently came to the awareness that I'll admit just about anything. So I'll admit something that's the most private thing you'd ever want to know about me.

My poops are often quite inconsistent. I usually poop once or twice a day, and depending upon what I've eaten lately, they are either dense dark brown poops, soft burnt red poops, or icky squirts. I have a mild sensitivity to gluten, which means if I have normal pizza or burgers, I get to hear about it from my poops later. In some cases, this is worth it. Some days, I prioritize my mouth-hole.

I used to eat a lot of breakfast cereals, usually Cheerios or Raisin Bran. I was into whole grain bread and peanut butter & jam sandwiches. But I'm getting older now, and my poops have become more important to me. So now my breakfast and lunch choices require more work. I find myself eating a lot of eggs -- I've become quite good at frying an egg over-medium.

I've also learned that Meatloaf gets a bad rap. My poops are usually pretty average after enjoying meatloaf. I use rice instead of bread crumbs, to hold it together. Sometimes I make a 2-layer meatloaf cake with a lattice of bacon between, like a bacon-filled meat-cake. Once upon a time, I frosted this with bacon mashed potatoes. For one thanksgiving, we made a 3-layer turkey & bacon meatloaf cake, filled with hamsteaks and cranberry sauce, frosted with bacon mashed potatoes. That day I pooped well. And Lo, the poops I pooped upon that day were poops for the ages.

Unrelated -- Also, I wrote this:

My sacred coffee girl—
Our wild struggle is sinful.
I lick your cup of lush
Rainfall and earth secret,
Discover old wisdom,
In the scent of deep moist
Rich brown places of spring,
Musky coffee-cherry
Plucked from the bush when red.
Heat thrives between my lips.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Don't wait for me to message you if you think I'm cute, or like what I have to say. Mutual Timidity Syndrome sucks. I try to contact people I think are cute, but well, y'know. are emotionally available.'ve ever been home to Wolf Creek Sanctuary! LARP or DM or play tabletop rpgs, or you're into being in a polyamorous relationship or intimate friendship with someone who does, or are simply curious about me. understand how someone can be both extroverted and socially anxious. like sexy conversations involving quantum physics.