Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


43 M Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:00am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

Similar Users

My self-summary
Despite all the BDSM-y stuff you may read below, I am a solid, trustworthy, intelligent, easy going, good natured guy interested in a meaningful relationship. I have another profile here that outlines that, but I thought to create this alternative in order to connect with someone "of my species," as it were.

Kink is an important facet of my sexual expression, but other aspects of my life make it impractical to wear on my sleeve. Despite the wonderful gains of relative social acceptance achieved by my open gay/bi friends, a kinky lifestyle still seems to require a high amount of living in the closet. (Though, were it totally mainstream, might it not loose a bit of its transgressive appeal?)

And so this adjunct profile. If you choose to reply, I would be happy to direct you to my vanilla profile if you would like a more well-rounded perspective.

Though I am not beyond connecting with someone for purely kink-based explorations, I also welcome a firm, grounded relationship with a like-minded woman!


You have stumbled upon the OKC profile of a single, safe, sane, straight, safe, sane, respectful, responsible, stable, accountable, genuine, honest/trustworthy, ethical, creative, playful, polyamorous, sex-positive, open-minded, novelty-seeking, experienced, poly-leaning cis-male Daddy/Dom.

Integrity and compassion are the virtues toward which I most strive.
A friend who knows me well once described my kink play style as "consistent, thoughtful, responsive, and devilishly compassionate."

Were we to meet in person, you would probably find me an affable, easy going, good natured, articulate, intelligent, confident, curious and respectful-in-public kind of gentleman. (I know that my face pic is necessarily lacking in detail. Some say I have a passing resemblance to Robert Downy Junior. I don't quite see it, but have heard it more than once.)

I don't live it 24/7. I am not a lifestyle Dom. More suit, vest and tie than leather pants.
It is not an integral part of my overall personality. But BDSM play does lend an appreciable, undeniable sexual power and magic to my erotic life!

I am interested in connecting with a local, like-minded, submissive, wicked, wanton woman for mutually spirited, toe-curling, satisfying, sex-positive, kinky encounters including bondage, sensory play, resistance play, role-play, impact play, things taboo, sexy outfits, orgasm control and denial, and (quite possibly) whatever outlandishly kinky thing you are thinking about this very moment!

I seek inspired sessions of kink play and good natured kinship.

I am not the type to play a strong Dom hand right out of the gate, and I won't slide a pair of handcuffs under the menu during a first date. I approach a woman as my everyday self, with a genuine interest in getting to know her.
What I’m doing with my life
Professional dedication takes up most of my weekdays.
Nights and weekends are generally free for connections with friends and consensual debauchery!
Enjoy dance and travel.
I’m really good at
Salsa dance.
Tying knots.
Untying knots.
Making kick-ass gin & tonics!
Crafting a journey.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Secretary was great.

Fifty Shades I have not read. Nor will I. Not well written, from what I hear, and not a very authentic perspective on a real kink lifestyle. But if you liked it and it opened doors for you, that can only be a good thing.
The six things I could never do without
My hands
A flogger
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–48
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You have experience, or are a curious newbie.

I enjoy talking about this stuff, and would welcome connecting with folks interested in exploring their curiosity with the noncommittal potential/goal of sharing a real life encounter.

You are attractive and in relatively good shape (at least HWP), as am I.