People always say that they hate writing about themselves on these things, yet I feel somewhat different. It amuses me to sit here and ramble on pointlessly, just to see how much complete and utter dribble I can get into one obtuse sentence. See? Wasn't tha fun?
Now as I sit here writing, and expanding on the fact that I am not writing about anything in particular (not to mention anything descriptive of myself), I actually begin to notice that I have strayed off task. This makes me feel just a little foolish. However, I have the urge to continue writing in an attempt to make the reader (that is you) think that I am actually writing all of this with some benevolent goal in hand. It is just now that you are realizing that I in fact do not have any goal in mind and am simply writing to see if you will actually continue reading the words on the screen. Now I feel a bit better about myself, as you are more than likely feeling the fool simply because you have wasted a good 30 seconds of your life reading this. You are welcome.

If you understand some of my humor, you may want to message me in order to learn more. Otherwise, I bite my thumb at you (anyone, anyone-Shakespeare? Hello?-Bunch of uncultured sods!).

Oh!-I also like dumb jokes that follow the formula:

So this baby seal walked into a club-ha!

Or

So the dyslexic guy walked into a bra-haha!!

I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.

sarcasm-you getting any of that yet?

Mario Kart, Smash Bros, gay chicken, double dutch rudder (what!? ew-no), air hockey, thumb wrestling, staring contests, taking Halloween candy from children, and playing with animals.

Hmmm...I am also annoyingly good at randomly quoting obscure movies during daily conversations.

"I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!"

That I have this strange magnetism that pulls people towards me. You will naturally be drawn to me...until I open my mouth and scare you off in the first five minutes.

OR

That I have no butt. No really, its like back, back, back, then...leg. Sorry to all of the butt girls out there.

Movies: Juno, Hudson Hawk, Monster Squad, Boondock Saints, Star Wars, Nine Dead Gay Guys, Across the Universe, Vibes, August Rush, Superbad, Clerks, Clerks 2, LOTR, Definitely, Maybe, Army of Darkness, Moulin Rouge, Four Rooms, Snatch, Eternal Sunshine, Fido, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Goonies, Amelie, PCU, Zack and Miri, My Best Friend's Girl, Office Space, and many many more.

I am also somewhat obsessed with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog right now. Check it out if haven't seen it and love NPH.

TV: Firefly, Stargates, Weeds, Californication (genius), Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, House, and anythig that is witty and intelligent (this rules out virtually all of network TV).

Books: To start: Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters: Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, Who is this God Person Anyway?

Les Mis, Dune, Le Morte d'Arthur, Sphere, Hamlet, Jackal of Nar, Stranger in a Strange Land, Foundation Series, The Once and the Futrue King, Battlefield Earth, most anything Herbert, Heinlein, Robert E. Howard, Eddings, Dr. Seuss, or Crichton. Oh, and I think that Douglas Adams is the most insightful writer of the last century. Terry Pratchett could be up there too...

Music: Anything that allows me to sing along at incredibly annoying volumes while driving in my car (however it may seem, this actually includes a lot of musicals...single-mom syndrome...)

Food: SUSHI! LOVE IT! Let's see...what else? Pitas and Hummus, cheese, fruit, edamame, cheesecake, Greek Salad, Peanut M&Ms, Red Vines, diet sody pop, and Chai Tea. Sure there's lots of other stuff, but I am a veggie (well, Pescatarian) and try not to think of meat (other than fish) much.

diet sody pop, an aquarium, my teddy bear, Mickey Mouse pjs, my BFF, and...ummm...air?

Yeah right, just kidding...I really only need the diet sody pop.

Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

Is it really that creapy for a single guy to watch a childrens' movie...alone...on a Sunday morning...by himself...with a punch bowl full of Lucky Charms...and a ladle...

The question to the answer. The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. The answer, of course, is 42.

Nothing. That is the beauty of being a guy. So many of you women write down "everything" in this spot. I guy can sit down, stare into oblivion, and think of absolutely nothing. This can be the best part of our day.
Note to self: do not do this while driving...again...

"Same thing we do every night-TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! MWA HA HA HA HA

That I am not gay! Shh...don't tell anybody...

I believe that I am often misjudged. People often think that I am some crazy party animal or something, but this is really not the case. I generally go out one night a week, and yes, I have a good time when I am out with friends. However, I view myself as more of an introvert and I tend to sit back and have deep thoughts. So I guess that I am really looking for somebody that is able to go out with me and have fun, but can also be completely happy cuddling on the couch and watching Princess Bride for the 100th time.

Enter to win if you (list is or/and, as I believe there are only two people living that fit the bill):

-Use the terms cool beans, bee's knees, or spiffy in your daily phraseology.

-Have a sense of HUMOR. Everybody thinks they have a sense of humor, but not everybody does. Here is a test: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
-You can unscrew a lightbulb! See no sense of humor whatsoever!!!

-Need a hug. We all need a hug at some point :0).

-Just want to grog a cool new person.

-Understand what the word "grog" means.

-Can hold an entire conversation in movie
quotes.

-Just want to cuddle, even if it is strictly platonic spooning while watching a movie, unless you are a dude (hey, gotta have some standards).

-Have opinions of your own, rather than spouting those of others (especially your parents').

-Can change a tire without calling AAA.

-Want to go rock climbing sometime.

-Want to take me to go see a chick flick.

-Want to give me some roses (romance isn't quite dead, is it?)

-Just want to be friends. The idea of jumping straight into a relationship with somebody from here is a bit frightening.

-Don't want to treat me like a peice of meat. I have a mind too!!!

-Can put your loved ones ahead of your cell/texting apparatus. There is only one electrical device by which I will allow myself to be seconded (and you do not speak into it-usually).

-Actually look something like your pictures (something about being honest in a relationship-even if we are "just friends"-and notice that I say nothing about looking good; just look like your picture)

-Don't smoke-though I make exceptions if one is exceptional (I don't judge, just have preferences).

-Don't describe yourself as "not your ordinary OC girl" (let's face it, if you have to say it, then it is not true).

-Don't describe yourself as drama free or do not like drama (Again, if you have to say it, then it is not true. Drama happens-it is how you deal with it that counts).

Also, teachers need not apply.

Disclaimer: I am often afk, as I may leave the computer on for great periods. So, I will most likely miss any IMs. It is a better idea to write me a coherent message anyway...