Two very important things you need to understand about me:
1) I am very sarcastic.
2) I am very, very sarcastic.
I'm also witty and punny. Some would say I'm pwitty phunny. Nobody would say I'm pwetty, hunny.
Other things you (really don't) need to know:
-I hate to travel
-I hate long walks on the beach
-I dislike piña coladas
-I love getting caught in the rain
-I am the exact opposite of laid back and down to earth
-I will have Baseball Roses in my wedding. If you don't like that then you won't be in my wedding.
-I'm broken; my feet smell and my nose runs
-I shower naked
-I'm a stand-up comic on the rise. I guess that makes me more of a crouching comic.
-Fish Boxer isn't just my OKC username; it is also my Twitter handle, Facebook page, phone number, email address, Xbox gamer tag, stage name, password for ALL THE THINGS, and soon to be my vanity plate. I even have a logo. I can't upload it here because I'm not in the photo.
-I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. That's why I'm here. That being said, don't be a bitch.
-You have the world's best family/friends/pets/job/car/everything. I have the worst. I'm okay with that.
-And today will be better than yesterday
(If you get that last reference I already love you. We can get married tomorrow.)