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52 M Sebastopol, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 40–55
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:19pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Japanese (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Sometimes you hear a voice through
the door calling you, as fish out of

water hear the waves or a hunting
falcon hears the drum’s "come back".

This turning toward what you deeply love
saves you.

-- Rumi

And that’s me these days, taking the time for life, rediscovering what it is I love about it, and hoping to find someone to help share in the discovery.

Not sure how this English major ended up working in computer data centers, but in between I've spent a decade abroad, published a few things, helped raise two great kids (now adults) and kept focused on keeping healthy and being able to sail through the decades to come.

I'm looking to share meaningful conversations with someone who is open minded, thoughtful, witty, and willing to open my eyes to more...of everything.

My ideal getaway together would be a few days backpacking in the Sierra, catching some hot springs on the way back, then dinner at a fancy Sonoma restaurant to celebrate our adventure.

I eat well and work out to stay healthy. I feel that really all we have in life is our bodies. I want mine to last so I can be strong and active, able to share life fully with those I love for many more years to come. I've also restarted up my meditation practice, and would love to find someone with whom I can sit. While I am very interested in Buddhism and meditation, my approach is strictly secular. I also try to make it to yoga class three times a week.

I love visiting National Parks, beaches, Canada, Alaska, the Sierra Nevada. If I had to pin down my "happy place.", it would be beside a Sierra alpine lake, early spring morning, sipping hot camp coffee.

I've been separated for over two years now and am waiting for a divorce to finalize, sometime in September, 2014.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Turning a new leaf, opening a new door, learning to appreciate the now, growing spiritually. Been on OKC for a while, but just started really seeing people.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Saying what I mean, meaning what I say. Figuring stuff out. Handling awkward silence. Being affectionate. Planning and not planning. I’ve sold my writing and photography, and starting to write poetry again, but don’t think I’ll ever make a living at that ;-) Oh, and since I’m a systems engineer, I can make computers do cool stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I asked a friend what she thought the truest, best answer to this question might be and she said: " have a kind of quiet confidence, that is inviting. Your easy going demeanor is immediately evident and your active mind makes you fun to be around."

Another friend said, "what I noticed about you is your kindness and thoughtfulness. Your depth of thought and being. That you like to figure things out.’

If you asked me, I’d say that I'm kind of quiet in new social situations, though I warm up quickly once the ice is broken. I'm not so much shy or uptight, but more just a keen observer to start. Once I feel a common vibe, I can warm up to let my expressiveness and wit show through.

I don't think that common vibe has to be from someone similarly low-keyed; I get along and am attracted to wall flowers and loudmouths alike ;-) I think its more what the eyes say than anything else....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music is a big part of my life, and my tastes range from the Grateful Dead, to the Flaming Lips, Talking Heads, Neil Young, Radiohead. I love Reggae, Jazz (modern mostly, "smooth" -- not so much), classic rock and newer bands like Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Fleet foxes. Into Classical as well, Bach especially.

My current ebooks shelf holds Whole Earth Discipline, Language Wars, Digital Zone System, Steve Jobs, Waging Heavy Peace, Wild, It's Easier Than You Think, Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist, In the Plex, Radical Acceptance, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart, The Swerve, The Mindful Path to Self Compassion, The Power of Now, Bring Me the Rhinoceros and Other Zen Koans that will Save Your Life.

I love listening to podcasts. Some of my favorites: Tara Brach, Open Heart Project, Zencast, Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History, The Naked Monk.

As for movies, I'm a huge fan of documentaries; I can eat up just about anything in the NetFlix docs section. My last few favorites were : "Beware of Mr. Baker", "The Improv: 50 Years Behind the Brick Wall", "Good Ol’ Freda", "20 Feet from Stardom", "Pandora's Promise", "Encounters at the End of the World", "180 Degrees South: Conquerors of the Useless", "Greenwich Village: Music That Defined a Generation", "Of Two Minds", "Talhotblond", "Journey of the Universe", "65 Red Roses", "Waste Land", "Salinger", "Kumaré", "Alexandria", "Darshan: The Embrace", "Side by Side", "DMT: The Spirit Molecule", "Note by Note: The Making of Steinway L1037", "Ram Dass: Fierce Grace".
Though, one drama that really turned me into a sobbing fool was, "The Music Never Stopped”

Food? I just try to eat simple, healthy things, no red meat, but just about anything else.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A zafu
A futon
My iPhone
Disc Golf
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding? Cloud or on-premise? Where are my kids right now? Just breathe...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Nothing special about Friday nights, but Saturdays and Sundays I’m probably out playing disc golf, hiking, hanging with family, and just getting out and in it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you hear a voice through
the door calling you...