I'm just this guy, you know?

I'm Frank, and I'm a dork. Let's just get that out of the way. Apart from that, I'm an easy-going guy with a great sense of humour. It is my firm belief that life is too important to be taken seriously. I work two jobs, though one of them is on winter break, and I am a friend to all things fuzzy. I should note I don't have a car - I grew up in New York, after all - though I am saving up for one. In the meantime, walking keeps me in decent shape. When I was in college I was an English major; my two great loves are stories, and the words that tell them. In fact, I tend to ramble, as you will soon notice.

My hobbies include but aren't limited to teaching myself to play drums, reading like a whole lot seriously you guys, thinking up ideas for stories, analyzing other peoples stories, rolling dice with more than six sides, and listening to music far too loudly.

Also, I wear a kilt on occasion.

I'm currently working in an Italian restaurant, and I'm considering making it a career. However, working in a restaurant devours your life, it seems, and I would like very much to go back to school soon.

-Being lovably sarcastic
-Remembering song lyrics
-Dialogue! Really, writing in general, but I'm told that my dialogue is particularly well done.
-I am a trove of semi-relevant factoids
-Hepling peeple wit there speling.
-Slipping fun and unusual words into everyday conversation
-Making the ಠ_ಠ face

It used to be my long luscious locks of hair, but those got trimmed. I'd think most people would notice my expressions; I speak volumes with my eyebrows.

Books: I am a huge nerd. Though I favor science fiction, fantasy, and horror, I'll read anything. My favorite books include John Dies At The End and its follow-up THIS BOOK IS FULL OF SPIDERS, The Name Of The Wind, Hamlet, Stranger In A Strange Land, Good Omens, Game of Thrones, The Once and Future King, The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, and American Gods, Lord of Light, IT.

Movies: Wall-E, Up, Pan's Labyrinth, The Princess Bride, The Protector, Taken, Rob Roy, The Three Musketeers, The Machinist, IT, Fearless, Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and a veritable host of other off-beat stuff.

Music: I've got quite the eclectic taste in music, though metal is predominant. My favorite artists lately have been Billy Joel, Jethro Tull, She Wants Revenge, Cynic, The Beatles, The Cruxshadows, AMANDA FUCKING PALMER, Pink Floyd, Jonathan Coulton, Emilie Autumn, Anathema, Voltaire, The Mountain Goats, Nevermore, Woods of Ypres, Pain of Salvation, Dream Theater, Ayreon, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Mastodon, and Ihsahn (Who'd have thought black metal and saxophones would go so well together!). I also have a deep and abiding love for covers; from a death metal cover of Rock Me Amadeus, to a piano cover of Raining Blood, I love listening to people's unique interpretations on others work.

Televison: I don't watch much television currently, but when I did my favorite shows were White Collar, Family Guy, Game of Thrones, House, Futurama, How I Met Your Mother, The Office, Dethklok: Metalocalypse, Samurai Champloo, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Cowboy Bebop, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and several others that I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Food: Yes. Omnomnom.

It's difficult, but somehow I manage to live without a car. Not too happy about it though. Failing that:

1: Music. Music approaches the divine.
2: Books. I love being taken into other worlds.
3: My dogs. They are too adorable to live, but I let them anyway.
4: Webcomics. There are some very talented artists, comedians, and story-tellers who may otherwise be completely unknown.
5: Puns. A good pun is its own reword, after all.
6: Razors. In my natural state I am a hairy - and itchy - beast.

How I would have written what other people wrote. Snappy comebacks I should have said, or improvements to the ones I've got on file. The last song that gave me goosebumps. How seriously amazing it is to be alive in this time period. But my favorite thing to think about...Nothing. It feels good to recline outside, clear out my mind, and just let it be.

Working. Working where I do, it's impossible to have a Friday night off. If I weren't, you'd probably find me at home, listening to music, watching a movie, reading a book, or attempting to write, or any combination thereof. I'm not much of a party animal, though I don't mind hanging out with my friends.

I have occasionally been known to get...emotional...over beautiful music. Not crying, and not just sad music, mind you, but music that tightens me up like a mandolin string and stretches me until I snap...Whoa. Goosebumps.

You can laugh at yourself, and just as importantly, if you can laugh at me. If you can tell where the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference is. If you want a kind, gentle man who isn't afraid to be silly and strange, but knows when to make his stand. If you're weird.

Or, if you use words like "licentious", "innocuous", and "consternation" in everyday conversation, and you think alliteration adds appeal, that's an immediate in.