Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should be interested in my culture, look adorable, and have a
positive attitude. You should also be a smart cookie. Peanut butter
is the best. I do not mind if you're a little quirky either.
I know most of y'all have a hard time messaging people on this
site, but fret not, for I have a solution! If you like my profile
and want to get to know me, but you don't quite know what to say or
fear you might be a little too awkward, send me a message, just say
"hi" or something - and I'll take care of the rest.
You should NOT message me if:
1) You are a man from Russia or Nigeria
2) If you are married, separated, or "just getting out of a bad
relationship". I am serious. I will find out. Take some time,
3) You are very clearly not ready, nor have the time for a
4) You are actually Nyarlathotep. Please, stop calling me. I told
you - you cannot devour my soul.
5) If you feel you live in a world where "microaggressions" exist,
we won't get along.