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26 Portland, OR Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18-40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:58pm
Heteroflexible, Questioning, Queer
Middle Eastern, White
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
4' 11" (1.50m)
Body Type
Average build
Special Diet
Working on Two-year college
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I AM VERY BUSY THESE DAYS AND PROBABLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO MEET. I don't have time to respond to "Hi" from somebody who's a 20% Match and a 58% Enemy. Figure it out.

I am considering deactivating my presence on OkCupid for the time being. However, I will exchange useless banter with those whom accept that meeting (at this time) is unlikely.

NOT INTO COUPLES OR A RANDOM FUCK. I get laid plenty without effort, thanks. In fact, I am mostly here to meet new people in general (platonically) & also to kill boredom. Yes, I am aware this is a "dating site."

:D Totally stoked to be here! How do you do?

This whole profile is a joke. I do not take life seriously. But I like to keep shit interesting. I'm not your run-of-the-mill mofo.

I won't "act like a lady." I don't walk elegantly from room to room. I do not fit into this neat little package.

I don't want to talk to basic people who get offended easily. Life is a joke and thus I go around making jokes. Don't be so uptight.

Semi-socially inept; semi-queer; semi-whatevs.


Instagram: fleshtwinkie
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Surviving death...
Hiding in my room.
Questioning everything!
Music. Listening, not making.
Using old work shirts as cum rags.
Trying to find meaning in all of this.
Complaining about the cold weather.
Writing in complete sentences, apparently.
Getting very friendly with the "Block" button on this site.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being ridic. Hahahahaha. Not taking this shit srsly.

Wasting time.

Wanking off. Making sandwiches. Emailing companies & complaining in order to get free shit/manufacturers coupons.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Metal and electronic music; organic and Real Food*; The X-Files and Breaking Bad of corpse...; John Waters films and other trash films; I'm all over the place with books. I enjoy Bizarro fiction.

I don't feel like copying & pasting all of the bands and movies I like. Whatever.

*Just kidding. I only eat pesticide-drenched food and Monsanto's RoundUp ready corn... I won't drink Portland's beer because it lacks crucial fluoridation chemicals.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Airplane mode.
The ability to remain realistic.
Being true to myself.
My Satan dildo. Justnkiddingcksksjsnbxdbhd.
Breaking all the rules.

...there aren't six things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Shitty dick nipples.
My gag reflex.

I tend to think about important/compelling issues such as: corruption, war, women's rights (especially reproductive rights. I am pro-choice without apology), corporate personhood, how small farms are under attack, bee die-offs, etc.
And I think about happy shit too, I guess.

Did they delete the "first thing people notice about me" essay?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dicking around on

Possibly in my (purposeful) lonesome, listening to Pastel Ghost or whatever.

Hopefully smashing IKEA furniture. Seriously, shit's overrated like whoa.*

Drinking red wine solo. Cheap or non, give it to meeeeeee. I'll chase the cheap shit with the good shit.

*Okay, please be original if you message me... everyone is mentioning IKEA furniture now. Seriously, I fucking hate people. YOU'RE BORING AND ALL THE SAME. Be fucking original.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I just deleted everything in this profile and it created anxiety. What does that say about me?


I don't care enough to change my clothes everyday.

Not really private but this seems to be the best place to put this...
I'm very selective about which foods I choose to consume. With that being said, let it be known that I will not eat 90% of the food in the grocery store. Our food supply is a joke riddled with chemicals and toxins, and I am opting out of that experiment as much as I possibly can. It all creeps me out. This is why I haven't eaten meat in over a year. If there's any pretentious thing about me, food, coffee, and alcohol is it. I take this pretty seriously. I do not enjoy going out to eat all the time.

Again, not really private, but:
My profile is set up this way on purpose. It's meant to weed out people that can't handle my "exotic" personality ;} I basically don't want to meet boring people. Most boring people don't wanna deal with me. So, yeah. I hate wasting time and I'm sure you do as well.
...So I do you a favor in this regard.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wanna be legit pen pals.
You wanna make me a mix CD.
You want to label GMOs at Safeway.
You want to teach me ______ and ____________.
You experiment with physical pain/degradation?
You're mysterious and full of adventure,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
You make electronic music. You make your own dildos/sex toys.