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26 Portland, OR Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:50am
Middle Eastern, White
4′ 11″ (1.50m)
Body Type
Dropped out of two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
:D Totally stoked to be here! How do you do?

This whole profile is a joke. I do not take life seriously. But I like to keep shit interesting. I'm not your run-of-the-mill mofo.

I won't "act like a lady." I don't walk elegantly from room to room. I do not fit into this neat little package.

Semi-socially inept; semi-queer; semi-whatevs.

Instagram: fleshtwinkie
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Surviving death...
Questioning everything!
Music. Listening, not making.
Using old work shirts as cum rags.
Trying to find meaning in all of this.
Writing in complete sentences, apparently.
Getting very friendly with the "Block" button on this site.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being ridic. Hahahahaha. Not taking this shit srsly.

Wanking off. Making sandwiches. Calling companies & complaining in order to get free shit/manufacturers coupons.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Metal and electronic music; organic and Real Food; The X-Files and Breaking Bad of corpse...; John Waters films and other trash films; I'm all over the place with books. I enjoy Bizarro fiction.

Just kidding. I only eat pesticide-drenched food and Monsanto's RoundUp ready corn... I won't drink Portland's beer because it lacks crucial fluoridation chemicals.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Airplane mode.
The ability to remain realistic.
Being true to myself.
My Satan dildo. Justnkiddingcksksjsnbxdbhd.
Breaking all the rules.

...there aren't six things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Shitty dick nipples.
My gag reflex.

I tend to think about important/compelling issues such as: corruption, war, women's rights (especially reproductive rights. I am pro-choice without apology), corporate personhood, how small farms are under attack, bee die-offs, etc.
And I think about happy shit too, I guess.

Did they delete the "first thing people notice about me" essay?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dicking around on

Hopefully smashing IKEA furniture. Seriously, shit's overrated like whoa.*

Drinking red wine solo. Cheap or non, give it to meeeeeee. I'll chase the cheap shit with the good shit.

*Okay, please be original if you message me... everyone is mentioning IKEA furniture now. Seriously, I fucking hate people. YOU'RE BORING AND ALL THE SAME. Be fucking original.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I just deleted everything in this profile and it created anxiety. What does that say about me?

I don't care enough to change my clothes everyday.

Not really private but this seems to be the best place to put this... I'm very selective about which foods I choose to consume. With that being said, let it be known that I will not eat 90% of the food in the grocery store. Our food supply is a joke riddled with chemicals and toxins, and I am opting out of that experiment as much as I possibly can. It all creeps me out. This is why I haven't eaten meat in over a year. If there's any pretentious thing about me, food, coffee, and alcohol is it. I take this pretty seriously. I do not enjoy going out to eat all the time.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're mysterious and full of adventure,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

You want to label GMOs at Safeway.

You want to teach me ______ and ____________.

You like pain. Physical is best. You want to be degraded. Oh, and I won't settle for anything. Hopefully you're sexy. NOT INTO OLD DUDES... Sorry. If you're old enough to be my dad, kindly fuck off.