Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I AM VERY BUSY THESE DAYS AND PROBABLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO MEET. I
don't have time to respond to "Hi" from somebody who's a 20% Match
and a 58% Enemy. Figure it out.
I am considering deactivating my presence on OkCupid for the time
being. However, I will exchange useless banter with those whom
accept that meeting (at this time) is unlikely.
NOT INTO COUPLES OR A RANDOM FUCK. I get laid plenty without
effort, thanks. In fact, I am mostly here to meet new people in
general (platonically) & also to kill boredom. Yes, I am aware
this is a "dating site."
:D Totally stoked to be here! How do you do?
This whole profile is a joke. I do not take life seriously. But I
like to keep shit interesting. I'm not your run-of-the-mill
I won't "act like a lady." I don't walk elegantly from room to
room. I do not fit into this neat little package.
I don't want to talk to basic people who get offended easily. Life
is a joke and thus I go around making jokes. Don't be so
Semi-socially inept; semi-queer; semi-whatevs.
I GET A LOT OF MESSAGES. IT TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND SOMETIMES.
I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Hiding in my room.
Music. Listening, not making.
Using old work shirts as cum rags.
Trying to find meaning in all of this.
Complaining about the cold weather.
Writing in complete sentences, apparently.
Getting very friendly with the "Block" button on this site.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being ridic. Hahahahaha. Not taking this shit srsly.
Wanking off. Making sandwiches. Emailing companies &
complaining in order to get free shit/manufacturers coupons.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Metal and electronic music
; organic and Real Food*; The X-Files
and Breaking Bad of corpse...; John Waters films and other trash
films; I'm all over the place with books. I enjoy Bizarro
I don't feel like copying & pasting all of the bands and movies
I like. Whatever.
*Just kidding. I only eat pesticide-drenched food and Monsanto's
RoundUp ready corn... I won't drink Portland's beer because it
lacks crucial fluoridation chemicals.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The ability to remain realistic.
Being true to myself.
My Satan dildo. Justnkiddingcksksjsnbxdbhd.
Breaking all the rules.
...there aren't six things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Shitty dick nipples.
My gag reflex.
I tend to think about important/compelling issues such as:
corruption, war, women's rights (especially reproductive rights. I
am pro-choice without apology), corporate personhood, how small
farms are under attack, bee die-offs, etc.
And I think about happy shit too, I guess.
Did they delete the "first thing people notice about me" essay?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dicking around on policestateusa.com
Possibly in my (purposeful) lonesome, listening to Pastel Ghost
Hopefully smashing IKEA furniture. Seriously, shit's overrated like
Drinking red wine solo. Cheap or non, give it to meeeeeee. I'll
chase the cheap shit with the good shit.
*Okay, please be original if you message me... everyone is
mentioning IKEA furniture now. Seriously, I fucking hate people.
YOU'RE BORING AND ALL THE SAME. Be fucking original.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I just deleted everything in this profile and it created anxiety.
What does that say about me?
IN NEED/DESIRE OF SUGAR DADDY.
I don't care enough to change my clothes everyday.
Not really private but this seems to be the best place to put
I'm very selective about which foods I choose to consume. With that
being said, let it be known that I will not eat 90% of the food in
the grocery store. Our food supply is a joke riddled with chemicals
and toxins, and I am opting out of that experiment as much as I
possibly can. It all creeps me out. This is why I haven't eaten
meat in over a year. If there's any pretentious thing about me,
food, coffee, and alcohol is it. I take this pretty seriously. I do
not enjoy going out to eat all the time.
Again, not really private, but:
My profile is set up this way on purpose. It's meant to weed out
people that can't handle my "exotic" personality ;} I basically
don't want to meet boring people. Most boring people don't wanna
deal with me. So, yeah. I hate wasting time and I'm sure you do as
...So I do you a favor in this regard.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wanna be legit pen pals.
You wanna make me a mix CD.
You want to label GMOs at Safeway.
You want to teach me ______ and ____________.
You experiment with physical pain/degradation?
You're mysterious and full of adventure,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
You make electronic music. You make your own dildos/sex toys.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.