29 Philadelphia, PA
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My self-summary
I think online dating is pretty optimistic. It's like, not only do I think there's someone out there for me, but I think I can find them while I'm sitting on the toilet.
What I’m doing with my life
Performing stand up as often as possible.
Writing/Brainstorming comedy all the time.
Otherwise attempting to juggle: job I hate, finding job I like (or hate less), family, friends, dating (help), travel, and my me time.
I’m really good at
Nothing. I have no skills.
Some people have suggested I'm pretty good at comedy, but that's not a skill, that's a coping mechanism.
The first things people usually notice about me
"You look like you've given up."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Ender's Game, Harry Potter, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Ishmael, Life of Pi, Watchmen, The Walking Dead, The Hobbit, Saga, A Song of Ice and Fire, various comedian autobiographies.

Movies: Wes Anderson flicks, Cornetto Trilogy, Wet Hot American Summer, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Sleepwalk with Me, Obvious Child.

TV: Rick and Morty! Master of None, Doctor Who, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Life and Times of Tim, You're the Worst, Always Sunny, The Simpsons, How I Met Your Mother, Futurama,

Music: Sleigh Bells, Fleet Foxes, Fun, The Format, Discovery, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire, The Dodos, Lorde.

Stand-up: I listen to comedy moreso than music. Louie, Hannibal Buress, Aziz Ansari, John Mulanely, Patton Oswalt, Pete Holmes, Kyle Kinane, Eugene Mirman, and everyone else...
The six things I could never do without
At least 6 bodily orifices.

Is the phrase "bodily orifices" the grossest thing ever to put on a dating profile?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Planning an Ocean's Eleven style heist with a bunch of girls from this site who clarify that they're looking for "a partner in crime."

Whether or not it's appropriate to message a girl on here inquiring about the cute friend who appears in half of her photos. What's she going to say to me, "what do you think this is, a dating site?"
On a typical Friday night I am
You know, white people shit.
You should message me if
You don't mind a guy who doesn't have it all figured out.

You're not desperately searching to fill a void in your life.